Do any parents know what could be wrong with me?

Question

I'm aware that this probably isn't the ideal section for this question. But I really need some answers and can't talk to my own parents, I thought other parents might have some idea how to help.

I suffer major depression and this has been effecting me for over a year. I am 15 and I'm on fluoxetine and risperidone. I haven't been on them for long and people keep telling me to just wait for them to work, but I don't believe they'll make a difference and I'm fed up of waiting. Some days I like the way I look, most days I absolutely despise it. I can see something beautiful in everyone except for myself, really. I have such low self esteem that it stops me going out and I feel insecure around people who I consider pretty. I am jealous of my best friend because I think she is very pretty, I hate myself for the way I look. I can't bear to look in mirrors most of the time. I am also paranoid, I think that people are staring at me thinking I'm ugly and I can't trust anyone.

When I go out, I feel as if everyone is looking at me. I sometimes go dizzy and see things blurry for no reason. I feel like people are talking about me or watching me and it makes me very nervous. I don't like going out with anyone because I feel scared around even my best friends and I feel as if I'm doing things stupidly e.g. walking and talking. It's having a big affect on me, I am staying in because I fear going out with people.

Do you think I have anxiety or some kind of social problem?

What advice do you have for me?

Answer 1

You are not alone in what you are going thru. The mind is a powerful thing.  You need to stop with the worry and bad thoughts.  Replace them with good thoughts.  Its hard at first but you can do it. That pretty girl may be feeling the same way you are, they are just people! Dont be jealous, be happy for them. And most people are so involved in their own lives that they are not really worried about you or how you look, really.   Depression and anxiety problems usually co-exist.  I hope that you are getting some therapy to help you even while you are on your meds. I have found help in the site's below.  On a nother note, I have found help in going to church.  I dont like to push anything on anyone, but It is good to know that at least God loves you! It doesnt hurt to give Him a try, right.  I wish you the best. Good luck

Answer 2

Hi

I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. I am on fluoxetine as well for PND, but it really helped me. There seems to be a few issues here. You say you really hate the way you look. There is such thing as body dysmorphic syndrom(Im sure thats what its called), where someone completely hates the way they look ect. Also, I would suggest seeing a counsellor as well as taking your pills. It helps alot to talk to someone when you feel you cant talk to anyone else. It is totally confidential (unless oyu pose a threat of harming yourself or anyone else).  You may also want to do some exercise as it helps in the treatment of depression. Good luck and I hope you get thorugh it as you seem like a really caring person with alot to offer.

Answer 3

It could be a panic or anxiety disorder.  I don't know the official name, but my niece had it.  There was a period of time when she was very fearful of going out in public, for the same kinds of reasons you describe. She got medication and therapy, and now she is perfectly fine. She's married, works at a good job, and has 2 kids.  If you're already on medication, I assume you have a psychiatrist.  You should tell him/her what's happening and ask for advice.

Part of what you're describing is normal for your age, though.  Lots of teens are insecure about looks and have low self-esteem.  It's a matter of degree.  What you seem to be saying is that this is interfering with your ability to do everyday things and have a happy social life.  If that's true, you should talk to your parents and/or your doctor.  There are lots of things that can be done to treat your symptoms.  You don't have to live with them.  Good luck, and take care.

Answer 4

You really need to see a counsellor as well as medication, it may take time, can you tell me one good quality you do have, kind to animals considerate to others well mannered or polite etc... you really need to find the good inside and like yourself to move forward. you need to speak to someone to help you realise that you have value as does everyone.  

Answer 5

You sound a lot like my younger sister. She suffered a lot in her teens from the same kind of problems that you have. It was hard for her because although we all tried to understand how she felt, it is very difficult to understand something you've never been through yourself. I'm sure your family would love to try to help you, and will do their best to see where you're coming from if you talk to them about it.

You may find it easier to speak to someone who does know what you're going through. I'm sure your local area has a youth counselling service or some kind of advice group for people with depression which will be staffed by people who understand because they've been there themselves. There is help out there if you look for it long and hard enough.

One thing I will say, though, is that it always seemed to me that my sister became obsessed with herself and the amount of time she spent analysing her own looks, figure, personality and intellect left her with no time to think about anything else. I know it's easy to say and harder to do, but I used to think that if she could take her mind off herself for a while she would be happier and break the pattern.

Anyway, my sister has spent the last few years working for a charity and she still has moments when she feels very down about herself, but she also has a reason to get up in the morning which is helping people who are worse off than her. I think if you could find something which you can feel passionate about it may help you.

I wish you all the best of luck and I hope you can find a way to ease some of the dark feelings you have. I also really hope you can find someone to talk to face to face who can help you through. Hopefully you can find a way to share your feelings with your family and let them try to understand.  

Answer 6

oh my god im the exact same as you, i have the same symptoms, this is not recognised and is making people very unhappy! i dont wnat to go to my gp.... cos i dont think itl change the way i feel... whenever im around people that are better looking or really pretty i clam up, dont speak much and basically just envy them in general, it sounds bitchy but i cant help it, there has to be a name for what youre describing and it sounds to me as if lots of people have this!! whatevere the h**l it is! good luck sweetie i hope u get it sorted, if you do let me know!!

Answer 7

Try and get a grip instead of sinking deeper and deeper into self pity

Answer 8

I'm amazed at how many people there are who suffer the same problems as me!

I feel idiotic even just in everyday conversation with friends and as if everyone is talking about me, laughing at me, thinking about how ugly I am etc. I hate social situations, parties etc for that reason. I'm getting to the stage where putting my hand up in class is a process of arguing with myself until someone else gives the answer anyway.

I am also depressed all the time and all I can recommend to you is that you seek further help from someone qualified, or maybe just open up to a trusted friend if you haven't already.

You could also try to find a new hobby to help you with confidence issues. I started learning an instrument recently and am doing ok, not to mention getting a little less nervous about playing in front of others.

Answer 9

Trust your parents, they'll only want to help. Have you been seeing a psychiatrist? If not, ask your GP to refer you - it could really help. Talk to someone about how you've been feeling and the problems you've been having. There are different things which can be done to help, but you won't get them unless you ask for help. CBT can be really useful for people in your situation - ask your doctor. As for a diagnosis, I can't give you one because these symptoms are common to all different mental health issues. The only way you can find out is by going to your GP or psychiatrist and talking to them.

Best of luck.

Answer 10

I can relate to this question fully my daughter is very similar to you and the symptoms you have she has very low esteem also and wont even open the door to anyone who knocks on it, sometimes she will go out sometimes u cant drag her out, now as for the medication, I was once put on fluxotine and found it awful, it made me paranoid, I took panic attacks I couldnt sleep I was basically all over the place and I think its really terrible putting someone as young as yourself on this type of medication, it makes you feel dizzy actually it made me totally ill to the point after around 2 weeks I thought I was going to commit suicide on it, so I came right off it, now for the self esteem part, Ill bet ur as pretty if not prettier than your friend is! but because you have these highs and lows when your low your emotions will exaggerate the way ur feeling when ur high u will feel like a million dollars and feel like u could conquer the world, you can get help and support for this usually through ur gp I would be going back to the gp and ask hinm for some support groups that specifically deal with self esteem issues once you start to build up your confidence you might begin to feel alot better and you would be so surprised at the number of young people who feel exactly the same way as you do, for a start the world to a young person feels pretty scary these days, and there seems to be not alot to do for young ppl but to hang about street corners with nowhere to go not anything thats free or cheap anyway, and I think this is half the problem too many ppl are scared to leave their house at night for fear of something happening to them! try and work slowly through these issues and I hope I have helped a little Gilly x

Answer 11

You must be seeing a doctor on a regular basis, to have such medication at such a young age.  Ask your doctor if you can talk to him/her - they will probably be able to suggest the right course.

but in the meantime, remember that everyone has a right to be on this planet, that there are beautiful people and ugly people and we are all entitled to our share of happiness.

I know many plain people, who lead successful lives.  Beauty, truly, is only skin deep.  

And if people talk about you - well, that is their problem.  

You need to develop confidence in yourself - you were born here, you have the right to be here.  and throw away the mirror - as long as you're not hideously ugly so that people scream and shout at the sight of you - well, welcome to the world of the rest of us!  We're just like you.

Answer 12

Have you told your doctor that you feel like people are talking about you? Your medication needs to be changed...go back and write everything you have written her...on a peice of paper and let the doctor read it...then he will hopefully change your medication. Good luck.