Do anyone likes this poem? criticize

Question

Vain Words

Alas! tell me not I speak in vain of love

For is love for why I live and is love in

What I feast, tell me not! that all my words

Are just adorns for you to show that I am a

Poor soul,living in agony, walking in the

Path of solitude, which brings peace but

No relieve, so please Elizabeth hear me words

That for you I wrote:

In the withering wild I love your smile

In the ocean I love your emotion

Flowing waves to thy cheek bring bliss

And all the air to thou words "fair"

So grand in beauty, so fair thou art

Please from me never depart

Answer 1

I liked it, reminded me of

another time.  A person in

love.

Take a look at my blog.

Answer 2

Well Done. The 1st stanza was different from the 2nd.The first was much more Shakespearean.Some how It reminds me of "Romeo & Juliet". U were in control of the flow of feeling as well as the flow of expressing and flow of tone.However, the picture U brought up, could be felt but not visualized. This way it has less impact, and soon be forgotten.Try to bring visible elements, that 'd help the reader to imprint a visual image of Ur feelings. For a fourth one, I 'd say its so delicate an so fine.I myself miss this line of poem.Keep on writing & good luck.