Do as I say not as I do?

Question

I am absolutely guilty of this with my kids. I never allow them to eat junk food but the second they are not in the car I'm going to Arbys. Or I never allow them to talk back or be disrepectful in any way. But I am the opposite to my parents because I don't think that they earned it ...

Anyone else guilty of this?

Answer 1

I think we all are at some time ore another but I try not to be that way because I don't not want to be a hypocrite.

Answer 2

Is there understanding?  Do you tell them the reasoning behind what why they are not allowed to eat junk food?  Do you treat your kids with respect?  Do you hear them out when there are disagreements, or do you simply lay down the law because "you say so?"

If you're feeling guilty, it's possibly because you aren't communicating with your kids.  If they talk back or are disrespectful, can you blame them?  You enforce rules that you don't follow yourself.  How have you earned your kids respect if you go behind their back to eat junk food?  Even if they don't know it, there are likely other hints that you don't practice what you preach.

I think once you become the model and set that example for your kids, you won't have issues of talking back and disrespect and you won't feel guilty anymore.  Two-way communication and understanding is key.  Your kids are a reflection of you, and they learn by example.  Set that example and you shouldn't have any issues.

Answer 3

It shouldnt be do as I say, not as I do.  It should be monkey see, monkey do.  In other words you should pay attention to your advice to your children and heed it yourself.  

Every parent is guilty of this, we want better for our children because we have already learned the detriment of the mistake.  However, knowing that, we should try to lead by example and break the habit ourselves.  Of course this is always easier said then done.

Answer 4

I think on some level everyone is guilty of this...we wouldn't have the saying if it wasn't true or abundant.

I'm curious though, if you don't think your parents have earned your respect what makes you so sure you've earned your children's respect? After all, children live what they learn and what you role model.

Sorry to hear that you were abused

Answer 5

My kids teach me a lot.  They help you strive to gain what over the years you lost.  They keep you in check and help you become a better person.  Yes I am guilty as well.

Answer 6

I am.  I want my child to eat way healthier than me.  I'm very picky, I don't eat most meat, veggies or fruits.  I mostly just eat dairy and carbs.  I try to get him to eat everything, but I just can't bring myself to do the same.

Answer 7

no my mom would kill me even today

Answer 8

I'm definitely guilty of doing this. There's nothing wrong with it, it might be seen as hypocritical but in the end you're just giving them a better chance than you have. If they eat healthy and are polite, you've done a great job - even if you don't do either of those things! I'm always telling my son to tidy up after himself, eat healthy and not play video games for too long. But I'm the messiest person I know and I certainly don't eat very healthily.

Just because I do these things, doesn't mean my son should!