Do black women want their men to take control and society is saying no?

Question

i read stories of how powerful and wise the Blackman used to be. that women submitted to them not like a master and slave relationship but man and women relationship. they loved him because He had their best intrest. now the Blackman has fallen from that state. but if we go back to the way we used to be will women let be the man our nature intends. if we are worthy to guide you would you let us. this question can also apply to women of all races.

Answer 1

Interesting points. If you mean that back when, the man looked out for his family and their interests, yes, his guidance could be an asset. I don't think submission is part of the equation, though. Both parents guide the family in the direction that is best for the family unit.

Answer 2

I'm very open-minded so I don't mind who takes charge.

Answer 3

Two possibilities and one may be construed as racist.

The first possibility: Marriage may not be part of the African tradition. I don't know much about this but I once heard a black woman suggest that marriage is a European thing.

The second possibility: Government in the U.S. has replaced the black husband and father through welfare and social programs that render the black man powerless and unnecessary in family structure.

Whatever it is, we know that when father and husband is missing from society or culture, it has detrimental effects on children. almost 90% of our prison population come from single-parent homes.

Answer 4

Ok, I'll explain it nice and clear. Not all women want to be dominated and to submit. Many women are natural born leaders just as many men are. I feel the key to "saving the Black community" if you will is we have to inspire and encourage Black men and women into education. As Bill Cosby said, "from victims to victors." Having Black women submit is not the answer. Women are not stupid and many are natural born dominants and leaders. Actually, many men are submissive, as well as many being dominant. Marriage is about partnership. You don't need a leader and submitter to make a marriage work. You just need teamwork. You need to be willing to do different things for each other, submit to each other at different times, and lead together. That's what a marriage is all about. Education and hard work is what we have to encourage upon Black youth. A better community. Just give them the motivation to go beyhond what is expected among others and succeed. It has nothing to do with Black women submitting to Black men. That would be horrible; that would be the Blacks regressing back to the 50's! Besides, women should be powered leaders just as much as men. I know that I could never be some submissive wife to a husband who would be leader. That would kill my soul. I am a natural born leader. Many Black men AND WOMEN are, too. So no, teaching women to submit to their men is not the answer. Also, not all women were meant to have children, just like not all men were. Takes different personalities for these things.

***Tasha, I love ya, one of my favorite e friends, and you made good points, but I had to thumbs down you because I don't think that Black men should be the head of their households.

***Shiphrah K basically summarized what I said :)

Answer 5

That's just bizarre.  Of course black men can be powerful and wise - a great many are.  And naturally a great many black women are also powerful and wise and don't need or want to submit to men of any race.  

Answer 6

women are not stupid

i think you should submit yourself to yourself and be happy

Answer 7

I think its past that point right now. Hey there is right. Society plays a big part in this. Society has screwed people up so bad, that people don't know who they are, let alone know what they want.

Answer 8

women cant be taken for granted any more , now.

Answer 9

This is actually a good question, something that has been debated within the African American community for years. There is an old saying that goes “You have to pay the cost to be the boss”. In order for our black men to be restored to the heads of their household, they have to say in the house hold. Meaning when they make a family, they must stay around to support the members. I think what has happened between black man and woman is the fact that black women have become used too, and accustom to being the heads of their household. They play both roles of mother and father; they’re the providers, the disciplinary figures, the peace makers, educators and care givers. When anyone (man or woman) assumes these responsible as one person, it’s hard to accept someone coming into your home and upsetting the balance that you’ve created.

For example (and this applies to all races) while on a six month deployment in the Navy, many man and women would come home and try to assume the roles they once held prior to their leave of absence. Only to be greeted with rebellion and confrontation. The Navy Husbands and wives that where at home with the kids had a hard time sharing the responsibly and authority with their significant others upon return for the simple fact that they’d become used to taking care of the kids, running the   house hold, balancing the check books and, and supporting the school  activities.

It’s the same thing with black men and black women. We both have to be able to swallow our pride, sit down; be willing to communicate, and work with one another to restore that natural balance between the sexes, in order to restore order within our homes, our communities, and relationships. Don’t get me wrong, black women have their faults. Most us don’t’ understand what it’s like to be in a relationship with a man that is ready and willing to be the head of his household, because we’re to busy “messing” with the men who could care less about anyone but themselves. Some of these women base their feelings for a man on the worldly possessions that he owns, his career/annual salary, or his social status. As well as some of our black men being caught in relationships with women based on the sexual favors they perform, or their physical attributes. Not taking the time to get to know the person that we’re physically and emotionally vested in.

Once we as a race stop blaming one another for the faults and mistakes that we both make, and start taking responsibility for our own actions (bad choices in loves/partners, career paths, and a distorted view of life) we can start the healing process of reconnecting with one another like back in the day with “big ma’am and pops”. Not to mention we have to restore the respect that we once had for one another, and regain the healthy fear of god’s wrath and faith that we once had in his ability to work miracles in our lives (a family that prays together, stays together).