Do eldest children receive less attention?

Question

I am home for vacation on summer break from college,

cannot help but feel slight jealousy/resentment towards my younger siblings as I see how they are being raised.

It is a selfish feeling but I don't know how to deal with the possibility that during my tender growing years through adolescence, my parents were occupied with new babies.

I am 7 years older and feel loved less :(

Answer 1

Not always. You should just let your parent's know how you feel. That might make your parents reflect.

Answer 2

oldest kids are always just for practice

Answer 3

Get over it and live your life. The past is gone and cannot be changed. Forgive ,forget ,and don't look back. Your life will be so much richer for it.

Answer 4

My oldest had both parents all to himself for a few years before his sibling was born. He had our undivided attention day and night. He was the center of our universe. No child born after him ever got that kind of attention, that one on one time with just mom and dad. Being the first born means you were their world for SEVEN whole years. I understand that you need them, but it should make you feel better that you had them first! You also need to tell your folks how you feel, ask if they can make time to do something special with just you. I make time for all of my kids, time away from their siblings with just me. Ask your mom to do that, ask your dad for some one on one time. You're not loved any less, trust me.

Answer 5

I agree. The first born is the practice round before the younger kids.

Answer 6

Well they think that you don't want to be treated that way at your age. Although you do they don't think about it. If you want to have somefun with them, tell them that. They might be able to get sleepovers or something for the kids and you can spend time with them.

Answer 7

No, but theytend to be pushy or bossy.

Answer 8

parents learn to not make mistakes that they made on the first child

i feel the same way

for the next child, they think about what they did with the first one and do things differently

my teeth r full of cavities becuz my parents never bothered to take me to the dentist and they didn't even say anything if i wanted candy

my first visit to the doctor was when i was 13

to another poster:

yes, i was the center of their universe for almsot 9yrs but i still need their attention now

just because u gave 9yrs to one child doesn't mean u can ignore em for 9yrs to give the enxt child attention

me and my brother love chocolate icecream but dispite me telling me parents to get one carton for him and one for me, they buy one

my lil bro eats most of it and when i complain, my parents say i ate icecream for  9yrs so its ok

its soo annoying....eldest kids r practice, not fair at all...

Answer 9

Have you shared this with your parents. make sure they understand you are serious about your question. You might find that they feel guilty about some of the mistakes they made with you. Maybe they could share some of the experiences they had with you when it was just you, to remind you of your time with them.

A good approach is thinking about when you have children, is there any advice they might have for your oldest, if they were to feel that way.

Answer 10

You had them first and for seven whole years.  When the others came along, then your parents expected you to be more mature, less adolescent.  You've been away at college, and coming home "does something" to a person who has been acting the independent adult while away -- suddenly, you're 12 years old again when you walk in the door!  But your parents don't see that -- they see you as a young adult and are treating you that way.  Wait til the young'uns are gone to bed, then curl up on the couch next to mom for some good old-fashioned cuddling.  Then have an "adult" talk about how you still need some "babying"!