Do feminists really believe that SAHM's are weak, submissive and in a lower class structure?

Question

This comment was posted recently in an answer and I was curious about what feminists really believe. Why would anyone believe that a feminist would support this kind of notion?

Answer 1

I'm not a Feminist or a SAHM,  but i don't think that at all, lots of people have complex personalty's, for example, there are dominant SAHMS, and docile career women

Many people, are ignorant and will  make assumptions about people that fit a certain lifestyle.

Edit: If a women is traditional some people will assume she cant think for herself, or that shes a doormat, or weak and if a women is a feminist they will assume shes an unattractive , man-hating L*****n,but people  that make assumptions about others are ignorant, and not all stereotypes are true.

Answer 2

all I have to say is... *drinks* cause this argument is sooo over played in this forum! If your purpose for this question is to gain perspective and not simple point fingers then the answer is quite plain and straight forward (as most answers in life seem to be)... do what is right for you. If staying at home with your child is the right thing for you, then don't let anyone else's opinion of your choice get under your skin. If you don't feel you will be happy staying at home, then don't and try not to judge the person that choose to. very simple, it just seems that people let their insecurities take over on this subject, or at least this is what I see...

Answer 3

Well, I'm not really up to date with modern feminis thought, but rather than seeing them as weak and submissive, early feminists of the Second Wave or third wave or whichever wave it was (the one that started in the 60s, i can't keep track of all the waves) saw them as positively malignant and a danger to society.  Read 'The Feminine Mystique' by Betty Friedan, for the most savage critique of housewives that I have ever read.  

Rather than seeing us as weak and submissive, Betty Friedan saw us as evil, bloodsucking leaches, destroying the lives of our husbands and children with being too attentive and too demanding, not to mention rapaciously sexual.

Actually, I think it's better to be viewed as malignant and dangerous rather than weak and submissive, but it's all a matter of taste I suppose.

it's funny how the wheel turns though, if housewives really are viewed as lower class.  It used to be that married women who went out to work were considered lower class, and men who had working wives were considered to have failed as breadwinners.  There's a good scene in the old British film 'Carry On Matron'(1959) in which one of the patients, a man who is anxious to be seen as middle-class, is at pains to stop the other men in the ward finding out that his wife has a job, which would destroy his middle-class credentials.

Answer 4

An elistist may devalue the work of a homemaker, but feminists as a whole, do not.Running a house and raising children takes energy and competance, and I think most people realize that.

No, there is no reason that a feminist would support those notions that you speak of.  

Answer 5

My xwife is the daughter of a rad feminist, the mother aborted and aborted until she met a fellow "genius", which he is and I won't name names, you can imagine her rage when her daughter choose to be a sahm, the tactics used by the mother to change her daughters path were mental, emotional and verbal abuse. She blamed me for the most part.

What feminism does now is appear to accept the sahm but is forcing its agenda through the education system and employment law.

Our economy is based on both components working now anyway so average families no longer have the option of a sahm.

The sahm is more or less a thing of the past for average wage earners, thanks to the feminist economy it takes two average wages to provide what one once did.

Answer 6

Can you provide a link to that answer- because I doubt that it was posted by a feminist.  Maybe someone trying to cast feminists in a bad light.  

Answer 7

Well, put it this way, if they did they are nuts! Trust me not all of us SAHMs are submissive. I don't have one d**n submissive bone in my whole body.

tractable, compliant, pliant, amenable. 2. passive, resigned, patient, docile, tame, subdued.

These are other words for submissive.  I by far am not subdued, nor do I ever act it.  I'm more of an obedient type of persona.  compliant, docile, tractable, yielding, deferential, respectful.

These are other words for obedient.  deferential is more like it Other words for deferential are: courteous, regardful, dutiful, obedient, reverential.

Answer 8

Nope, my mom is a feminist and a SAHM.

Answer 9

I think this is an issue of interpretation. Surely, there may be some feminists who feel that way, but I doubt that is the majority. In fact, I doubt that many feminists consider SAHMs to be in a "lower class structure" since it is usually upper class women who have this luxury to begin with.

I consider myself a radical feminist and I have a lot of respect for SAHMs and SAHDs for that matter. Child-rearing and caring for domestic spaces is very important work and it is the only work that has absolutely no monetary value in our economy.

That itself is a basic tenet of feminism, which is that the work traditionally attributed to women in our society carry little or no economic value.

Now, different people can interpret this differently, but my view is not necessarily that women should work outside the home to compensate for this, though this is certain an equally respectable option. I feel that we should first begin by attributing just value to domestic and child-rearing work.  

Answer 10

No.  I was a Sahm until nearly 3 months ago when I went back to work part-time.

With any woman, whether she stays home or not, it's her decision and not for me to judge :)

Answer 11

No! Raising a child 24/7, full-time is the hardest job in the world, and I have nothing but respect for anyone who can do it.

I'm a feminist and a mother, and I'm in a position to know this, unlike the anti-feminist trolls who regularly tell us how we "feel" about stay-at-home mothers. It fits their little prejudices, apparently, so they are unwilling to let go of it.

Edit: Chuckup, your delusions and obsession are muddling your damaged brain. When did I ever say I was a stay-at-home mother? Try to keep up, dear...try to keep up.

Answer 12

People on here are always saying feminists believe all manner of silly things that I don't think feminists usually believe.  It doesn't matter how many feminists speak up and say, "Actually, that is not what we think."  People still think we think that.  

This reminds me of a neat phenomenon that I learned about in a social psychology class a few years back: people tend to remember information better if it fits with their existing schema, and when they don't remember information, they sometimes fill it in with information that fits with what they expected.  Not only that, but you tend to interpret ambiguous stimuli in a way that is consistent with what you already believe.   There were some cool experiments.  

Anyway, I think social psychology goes a long way to explain why feminists and non-feminists tend to have very different ideas of what feminists actually are like.  Somebody I might dismiss as a ranting wingnut, somebody else might see as a typical feminist.

Edit:  That's one way of looking at it, Yeah Right, but I think that being self-reliant doesn't nix the idea of of cooperating and taking on different sets of tasks by mutual agreement.  It just means that a person is capable of functioning as a single person if they so choose or if they need to.  If you know how to do something and feel confident about your ability to do it, you don't have to continually do it to prove that you can.  I don't swim very often of late, but if I got thrown in the water, I'd start swimming with no problem.  It's like that.  You never know when life will, metaphorically speaking, pick you up and throw you in the water.  So it pays to have taken swimming lessons.

Answer 13

No. In almost every instance of questions like this being asked, feminists have overwhelmingly stated that a woman's path in life is none of their business. As much as I would hate being a SAHM myself, I know that other women would hate being a childfree career woman like me, so I don't fault them.

Answer 14

I'm a modern Feminist and I love everyone Subarachnoid or otherwise.

I love everyone so much... so, so much, for I'm a loving femist.  So nice.

Answer 15

Weak:   Depends on the woman.   This is a personality trait that has nothing to do with whether one is a SAHM or not.

Submissive:   Yes.  Whoever earns less money is usually not the decision maker.   This is also true in situations where both people work (and why most guys will not marry a woman who earns more money than they do).

Lower Class:   No.   Lot's of wealthy guys have SAHM wives.

Why would a feminist think otherwise....   Opinions are based on our individual life experience and education.  

I suggest that you (and dozens of others in YA) stop thinking that all feminists have the same opinion on all topics.   Ditto for individual members of any other group.

Answer 16

Feminists don't think that.

Some feminists are SAHM.

Answer 17

A feminist with their head up their @ss might support the idea of a SAHM as weak, but nobody worth talking to would subscribe to this notion. I've had the misfortune of meeting *professed* feminists like that, and these really were your stereotypical man-hating, mommy-bashing gender feminists. Perhaps "Female Separatist Radicals" would be a better description of them than "feminist."

Besides, there is nothing at all wrong with being obedient or submissive. Being so without losing oneself in the process requires both self-discipline and mental agility. My partner is very obedient, but far from weak. She's a military brat, and  understands the value of a well-defined chain of command.

Answer 18

Some might, I know a few women that look down at the good 'ole SAHM's. I know one girl in particular that claimed that you couldn't be a mother and a feminist because your denying yourself the equal opportunities that men have. Utter bullshit. But if the do believe that SAHM's are weak etc they aren't real feminists. Feminism is about giving women the opportunity and the choice to pursue what ever they want.  

Answer 19

Yes.  Feminists say that it's better to be with an independent woman who won't rely on a man to pay their way.   But, SAHMs have to rely on their husbands for money.  What does that tell you about what they think of SAHMs?