Question:

Do fostor children have a say on whos going to adopt them?

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lets say a kid lives in a home, and a couple is interested in adopting the child, but the child does not like or trust the people, does that child have no choice? im not talking about little kids, like kids that are 8 and up.

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  1. It depends on the requirements of the state where the child is.

    Where I live, if a child is over 12 they have a say in whether or not they're adopted by a particular family.  They could have misgivings for any reason and stop the process.  They could stop it because of a move to a different part of the state or different school.  They could stop it because of a fear of the family pets, a personality conflict with one member of the family or anything else.

    We were moving forward with an adoption of a young lady who was 17.  It would have involved a move to a different part of the state.  The change in school districts could have changed her graduation date from December 2007 to May 2008, which would have changed her plans of when she was going to college.  She had some concerns about this and said that she preferred to stay where she was instead.  She was in a group home that was a small one and very much like living in a family with five girls around the same age.  It was a good situation for her & I absolutely wish her well.

    The thing to keep in mind with adopting an older child is that they need to be bought in to the process.  They need to want it as badly as the adoptive parents do and they need to think that it's in their best interest to move forward.  When you adopt an older child, the time left at home to really closely bond to the family is shorter, so they need to be fully vested in the process.


  2. They may not have a say on whether or not they are placed with a particular foster family. However, I know during the adoption finalization in court, the judge will ask the family and child questions, and will usually ask older children if they want to be adopted or not. The judge doesn't have to finalize the adoption if he/ she doesn't think it's in the best interest of the child

  3. YES THEY DO !

    the social service rep will do an out call and survey of the child before release to full adoption.

    and a second chance will be allowed to reevaluate the situation.

  4. I honestly think that depends on where you live. I was a foster mom, and the state I live in I feel like the state DID NOT care how that child was feeling. I have had sooo many children in and out of my home, and seen with my own eyes, how badly foster children are treated in the system.

  5. i was a foster kid, but the system i was in was mest up and twisted, they didn't care whether or not i was happy (of course, i was 10 and also waaaaay messed up). looking back now, the families i were with were great families, and there was nothing wrong with them, it was just me, i didn't want a family, i wanted to be back on the streets. so what i would do is get in trouble, everything i did was bad, i'd smash windows, rub eggs in the carpet. i was horrible. and every time, they got rid of me and i went to the next family. until this one family i was with at age 11 didn't get rid of me, they actually adopted me, so i stopped acting up 'cause i figured if they were willing to put up with me, then that meant they cared about me, and having a family wasn't that bad anyway. so now i'm 15, and happy.

  6. Of course the child will be ask about how he feels about who is adopting them if they are older and it will be taken into consideration but may not stop the adoption.

  7. Yes, the child's opinion is taken into consideration and usually followed.

  8. NO THEY DON'T .....

    THEY DON'T HAVE A CHOICE..   BUT THE FAMILY HAS BEEN INVESTIGATED BEFORE RELEASING THE CHILD TO THEM.

  9. Yes. The child normally has conversations with a therapist or social worker to express their concern. In most cases, they want the child to be happy and comfortable.

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