Do guys ever realize that they have been a jerk?

Question

My ex bf and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. I wrote him a letter. He never responded. I took that as a hint, I was very hurt, but I did not make any further contact with him. We now have a class together, but we ignore each other. As time goes on, do guys ever think "c**p! I was being a jerk" or feel bad about hurting the girl?

Answer 1

i do but i do right away, some guys do some guys don't, its the same thing with girls, some girls are stuck up and think nothing of it, others don't.  

Answer 2

Yes, we do realize when we're wrong.  If he doesn't, then he's either an a*****e that doesn't deserve you, or he simply doesn't want you.   Move on.

Answer 3

well i guess it kinda depends on how the guy acts like for exp: if the guy is sweet and considirate then he probably would care but if he like acts like he go's by his own rulez or somethin he probably wont care at all

Answer 4

just some...personaly i do...

Answer 5

i was a jerk a long time ago. and i realise it now. part of me regrets it part of me doesnt. i regret it cause i hurt ppl. i dont bc. i learned from it, and now i think about what i do in order not to hurt my girl.

Answer 6

well let me tell you that that is just a trick to make you want him, and reget you broke up with him.

i do the same thing to my exs and they always come back, well some :)

but good luck  

Answer 7

not if it was the girl who cheated on me

Answer 8

some guys just don't give a c**p....it's sad but true.

Answer 9

Yes, it happens many times. But think about the situation in reverse. What if YOU broke up with a guy, how would you do that ?

Of course there are a lot of jerks around too, in that case: Good riddance !

Answer 10

no males don't have any feelings

Answer 11

Do girls ever realize they are the SAME EXACT WAY?????  9 months of i love you's, $3,000 vacation fully funded by me, and then 3 days after vacation, like switching a lightbulb off, she was done???  And then when i need to get my stuff back, i get an "F" off response??? And I DID NOTHING WRONG, SHE was the one who found another man!!!!  NEVER in my life have i broken up with a girl.... NEVER!!! and once every year it seems, im left heartbroken (yes, we have feelings too!!!)  and im supposed to act like she is dead, as if those nine months never existed!!!  you wanna relationship?? email me, lets see who breaks who's heart first.. lol, i have a perfect record....  0 wins 7 losses.......

Answer 12

Jesus ! Good for you as you realize he was a jerk. Forget about him, find someone, who is not a selfish moron. Just think and look for nice guys!

Answer 13

Sometimes they do feel guilty, but they have not yet reached a level of maturity that enables them to handle the fact that they have been a jerk. There are also some guys who truly feel entitled to be a jerk and they are the ones who often grow up to be abusers. If a guy ever gives you the impression that he has a "seared" or dulled conscience when it comes to being a jerk, it's time to run. You don't need that c**p. If he is just immature you should still leave him alone and focus on yourself and your own life. Just be very choosy. Only date a guy who is really datable.

Answer 14

Move on.. he's not worth it

Answer 15

I can answer this honestly, with a "Yes, in time we do learn." I can even use myself as an example.

I was a jerk to my first girlfriend when we broke up. I realized at the time that my future wouldn't have her in it, and I wanted to break up with her. So what was my, oh so brilliant solution? Well, it was to make her not like me so that the break up would be mutual? Well it worked, and there are days that I want to look her up to say I'm sorry.

So why do guys act like jerks? Often it's because we are confused and don't know how to deal with our own feelings. In time, if we are lucky we learn from our mistakes and come to realization of how much pain and misery we have caused. Those are the ones that feel bad.

Now you are probably really frustrated with him right now, and he most likely wants to put the past behind him and forget about things. He'll continue to ignore you, and you him because deep down both of you are hurt. In my opinion, the only way to work past that silence between you two is to accept that the past is past and that the future is going to be different. You're dynamic has changed, and you need to find a new way to communicate with him that isn't so personal. Don't be surprised if he still wants to cut you out of his life completely. I know from personal experience that one coping mechanism guys have is to "amputate" what is wrong. Don't take it personally.

If you're really lucky, he'll realize he was a jerk. Unfortunately, he may very well not know how to vocalize it, nor admit it to anyone. In the end, treat him and everyone else you know well. Who knows, perhaps kindness will break through the barrier he has built.

Finally, don't be discouraged by one guy. Keep in mind that a lot of people make the mistake to lump people into groups. Two of those groups are "men" and "women". Instead of trying to think about, "Why are guys...", think "Why would someone..." Put yourself in their shoes and truly think how you would feel. Gender has a tendency to alter a person's experiences so that you find a kinship with your own gender, but that doesn't mean that your opposites are unknowable. Always remember that people are people. We love, dream, and feel pain the same, no matter our gender, race, religion, or age.

There are good people in this world, and I'm sure all of us have been jerks at some point in our lives. It's part of being human. Just don't forget that another part of being human is that we remember our past and change because of it. The jerk of today may be the nicest person you could possibly know in a decade.