Do guys have issues with dating a single mom?

Question

I am a single mom of a beautiful 4 year old girl. Her dad is in jail in a different city, and has been for the last few years. Him and I never had a relationship not before she was born or after. It was a one-two night thing that resulted in a pregnancy for me. I've been dating this guy for a year and 4 months and he proposed about a month ago. All sounds good except he has issues with me having a child. He says sometimes it bothers him. He demands that all guys would feel this way. I'm tempted to leave the relationship because she is my world and i want only the best for her. Sometimes he's great with her. Accually most of the time he's great with her, really the only time he expresses any feelings about it they're to me. I was wondering if all guys feel this way about being with a single mom?

Answer 1

The problem is that you have a number 1 love in your life (your daughter). The man that you end up with MUST be able to accept that they will never be number 1 in your heart. If they can - then you will find your happily ever after. If they cant, then move on. There are guys out there that will accept it.

Answer 2

It's a lot easier to weed out the bad ones when you have a kid.

It is a great barometer of the human soul.

Answer 3

No, not all guys feel that way. To say that all guys feel that way is to try to evade responsibility for one's own thoughts. See, if EVERYONE felt that way, then it would be the only reasonable way to feel. Plus it wouldn't be a reason to leave him since all the other guys would be the same. But in fact, I know a lot of men who adopted their wife's children and love them like their own. It's to his credit that he treats your daughter well, but I think she deserves to have a father-figure who doesn't resent her. Because eventually, she'll notice the resentment, especially if you have children with this man and he treats them better.

Answer 4

Parenthood is a big commitment.  Especially instant parenthood.  You have to remember, any guy in this situation not only has to make one commitment, he has to make two.  Any person that does not consider this isn't really seeing the whole situation.  It's a sign the guy is using his brain.  He needs to make up his mind, though.  It's time to either paint or get off the ladder.

Answer 5

Your ex is in Jail!?!?!?

Time to bail!

Answer 6

nop as long she is a milf.

no i wont mind because im realistic i can change the past as long she is willing to be honest and exclusively for me is all good.

Answer 7

yes I hate leftovers, Lions kill the young of Mates they find, if its not their own

Answer 8

Well to be honest with you. A child by another man is a constant reminder of another man being with you and doing things to you. That is why the child is here. It has nothing to do with the child just the s*x deed and knowing that another man has had you.  

Answer 9

No, not all men feel this way.  Would a person (male or female) prefer to get involved with someone without children?  Generally speaking, yes.  Which is perfectly understandable, because it's taking on a lot and there can be numerous problems.  But, there are plenty of people who get involved with single parents and aren't 'bothered’ by the child's existence.  They may be concerned about the potential for problems, but if they love the person and care about the child, they’re willing to take on the problems without resentment.

Would I continue a relationship with someone who was bothered by my child’s existence (even if they didn’t communicate that to her)?  Absolutely not.  So why are you still there?

Answer 10

may be what you dont want to hear- but me, personally,

i dated a lot of moms in college. anywhere from having infants to almost 10 yr olds.

I wouldnt ever marry any of them.

NOT because they have a kid, or because of the kids themselves (i liked them all, they were great kids)- but when i wanted (and did) to "settle down", I wanted to make a fresh start, to build my OWN family, not pick up pieces of someone elses. it was the family thing for me. I didnt want a ready-made one. I wanted a few years of kidless marrage to enjoy. I wanted to see the birth of my own child. I wanted to hold her in my arms, feed her, watch her grow, and yes, even change the poopie diapers myself. A ready-made family would deprive me of years of fatherhood, and some of the most rewarding ones at that- first word, first steps, etc... yes, i know i could have had kids WITH the moms and done all that- but i would have already been raising an older kid- done tings ***-backwards. started with the dessert first.

And besides- you alwyas treat your second child differently when youve been raising one already. i wanted to raise my OWN child FIRST.

so dont judge someone's "soul" or how good of a person they are just because they want to have a brand-new family for themselves. there are MANY guys out there who dont care and would LOVE that you have a ready-to-go family, and they skipped all of the "hard stuff" and expense. I'm just not one of them



of course, this is a guy who has never been married talking. if i was a divorcee with kids, i might feel different.

Answer 11

Especially one whos husbands are in jail.

Answer 12

i dont have a promblem, but i think its usally the children that might be asking questions later on in life "who was their real daddy"? An well i think thats why some/most men may not date a mom because they dont want to face that. But h**l thats my opinion dosent mean its true for most guys