Do guys like this ever REALLY change?

Question

I found out from his family that my boyfriend abused, in one way or another, his two ex-wives. (One physically, the other mentally/emotionally).

We have been together almost two years ... sure he can be a little jealous and a little moody (who isn't?), but he has NEVER mistreated me. He says that when he met me, he became a new man. I know it sounds suspicious, but I truly think he has changed.

My friends say that I am being stupid, and that even with counseling, he probably hasn't REALLY changed.

Answer 1

He had not changed. He is hiding it until after you are married like he did with the first two. Your friends are right. I would think that it must have been bad for his family to tell you about it.  

Answer 2

Everyone has something in there life that might turn them around. Your boyfriend could be completely telling the truth, he may have realized that he was not on the right path and you helped him better himself.

But be cautious. He may slip into old habits or could not have been honest with you. If he is ever abusive (in anyway) I wouldn't suggest staying along. Some people can't change. It's really a matter of will, the ability to recognize and change there problems. Make sure you really know this man, and if you truly believe he has changed, then stay with it.

Your friends are there for you, and don't want you to get hurt. Remember that they're just trying to help you out. They might sense something that you could have overlooked. If he stays how he is and you are happy with him, then don't leave due to history. Just watch out for any signs of you becoming like his ex-wives.

Answer 3

I reckon he's telling the truth.  If he was going to abuse you, you would have found out the hard way long before now.  He may always have the tendency to be abusive, but he obviously has a lot of respect for you, and his love for you outweighs the desire to be a pig.  Lets hope things stay great for you, and if he starts to 'slip' put him back in his box ASAP.  Best wishes

Answer 4

Of course he can change...

his ex wives probably ..ENABLED him to abuse them....

If he touches you...kick his @ss.....punch his face, and he'll stop eventually and you'll be the boss!!

Answer 5

Maybe he is one of those - as soon as he marries he changes - for the worse

Answer 6

People can change, be careful as he may not have, just make sure you have an escape plan just in case, better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it, good luck and I honestly hope he has changed.

Answer 7

No they don't change. They put behaviors like that away until something ticks them off and out comes that behavior again. I'd say leave him before its too late.

Answer 8

You have to decide what you are going to do with the information that you were given. Its like a doctor telling you that 1 in 4 woman may one day have cancer. Don't ignore it just keep your eyes open. If he really has changed and he wants to be a better/different person then good for him and you. Otherwise just keep in mind that abuse doesn't always happen all at once but can build over time.

Answer 9

NO, they don't change, they just look for new victims.

Don't wait around to find out for sure.

Has he gone through anger management classes?

Let me guess, he abused his two ex wives, but it was all their fault.

If you're buying that, I've got some swamp land to unload.