Do harsh domestic violence laws only work for vengeful people?

Question

Many people don't report DV because they know that harsh laws will earn their partner a criminal record and maybe a jail term

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7346144.stm

Perhaps harsh DV laws fail kind-hearted victims?

Answer 1

We cannot talk about harsh domestic violence laws while ignoring false DV allegations.

For many women DV allegations are nothing but an easy tool to get away with a lucrative divorce. - Somehow DV-laws are a legal loophole.

False DV allegation accusers deserve the same punishment as any other DV abuser to stop misuse of these laws.

Unfortunately, punishments  for deliberate false DV-allegations are rare, and if, it's only some hours of community work.. This should be changed.

Answer 2

Perhaps mental health treatment for abusers would be more appropriate.  An abuse victim doesn't usually want revenge, but rather the abuse to stop.  Most abusers have issues of their own and they need help with them.

Okay, I'm off my soapbox now.

Answer 3

I'm sure these laws exist to have a barrier between abusers & their victims. I don't think harsh domestic violence laws are wrong at all, anyone who hits anyone deserves a taste of their own cruel, sick medicine.

Answer 4

this is not as simple a question as it has been recieved. Yeah, some women might be reluctant to have their husband hauled away for god know's how long over a moment's indiscretion, especially if there was no real harm done. Chronic, vicious, physically damaging abuse is, of course, another matter altogether.

My second wife belted me once. I figured I deserved it and blew it off. Gotten a lot worse than a barely bloody nose before..

But what's worse is something I witnessed myself. Was in a grocery store. Guy and his wife were arguing. He kept telling her he'd had a lousy day and was in no mood for it now. She kept at him verbally, and at one point he grabbed her by the shoulders. Not violently, just sort of exasperated, and sort of said, sort of yellled. NOT NOW!

Well, she relented. They went about their shopping. Few minutes later the cops showed up. Somebody in the store called them. The guy's wife pleaded with them not to arrest him. Said it was nothing. She didn't want to press charges and all that. But no go. They cuffed him and hauled him off. Probably locked him up for assualt and battery and maybe he lost his job. Who knows?

Didn't make a lot of sense to me. But that's the way it is.

Answer 5

"Perhaps harsh DV laws fail kind-hearted victims?"

Sure, so let's tell men that when they beat the c**p out of their partners they'll be met with nothing but hugs and puppies.

Answer 6

People who are kind to domestic abusers are idiots.

Answer 7

AFTER I divorced my ex-husband, he repeatedly raped and abused me, (even when I was in a new relationship with a new person), so I went to lay a charge, but when the police told me they are ready to arrest him, I was suddenly forced to think of the practicalities. If he is in jail now, he could be fired from his job and then who will help me to support our son?

So I saw no other way out, but to cancel the charge I just laid against him, for our son's sake (and mine indirectly) and they did not arrest him. Once again he got off scott free, but hey, I'm tough, I got raped by him every night for the full three years I managed to bear the marriage, so what's a few more times for my son's sake hey??? Big deal!

Their are so many different circumstances and tons of reasons why victims sometimes don't lay charges. This was my reason.

Answer 8

The ones who don't report their abuser are not kind or cruel, they have been emotionally, mentally and psychologically manipulated and have a twisted view of the situation due to the cruelty of their abuser.

The ones who don't report their abuser were faced with limited educational opportunities and for tons of other various reasons they are stuck in the horrible situation due to children, lack of job opportunity, no family or friend support, etc.

And some of them never reported it because they were beaten to death. My aunt had her head beaten in with a baseball bat because she wanted to attend an English class at a local community college for 1 hour during her child's elementary school hours. Her husband told her she couldn't go (although he had been promising her for years) because he was afraid she would find someone better than him. She enrolled anyway and within a week my mom was on a red eye flight to the hospital in Chicago. My aunt's dying wish was to get the kid away from him and have him put in jail for life.

And she got her wish. He's rotting away in a cell somewhere in Illinois. And her daughter, a little older than myself, is getting her PhD next June.

So... I'm sorry... what were you saying?

Answer 9

Or the alternative 90% of DV allegations in family courts are false allegations made merely to gain an advantage in terms of custody and divorce settlements. The test of guilt is balance of probability in the family court. When the matter moves up to the criminal courts they have to prove guilt beyond reasonable doubt. Women making false allegations don't pursue such claims which would be highly unlikely to succeed

Answer 10

Yep..

It allows the "victim" to exploit, abuse, take advantage of the law and use it as a way to take revenge against others..

Answer 11

I think all laws in general were designed to fail the honest and kind people. Our legal system is nothing more than a money making racket, and if you don't have the funds to defend yourself, you are automatically guilty. Come on, with all the evidence they had against O.J do you really think some smuck like me who has a court appointed attorney would have walked away from that? For many people their biggest fear is that they will be accused of a crime they are innocent of, because if you can't afford to hire the dream team, you can pretty much assume your life is over, but if you have money you can basically get away with anything. Yes, our judicial system is failing everyone. Whenever justice is determined by the size of your wallet, it is going to be a failure. ;-)

Answer 12

if you are dumb enough to commit any crime you stupid but should go to prisin Domestic violence included

Answer 13

Yes they do.

It is the same with any law. It's up to the victim whether they wish to report or not. Law (however unfair) will only then take its course.

Any law fails 'kind-hearted' victims.

But the reason men don't report DV is because they can't, not because of kindness. We get laughed at when we do. I saw this happen with my own eyes.

Answer 14

this is a difficult one, if domestic abuse is reported both parties should be interrogated until the truth comes out. otherwise passive men can suffer prolonged physical, mental and emotional abuse and snap and end up losing their house, kids and go to prison. not that physical violence is justified in any way, i just wish that we had a way to measure and prove the favored and most common type of dv that men are subjected to. making or threatening to make false allegations of dv should be classified as dv.  

anyway, good point, kind hearted people shouldn't feel guilt for seeking help and nasty people shouldn't be provided with a weapon to exploit.