Do i have this right? ?

Question

I am trying to describe some of my summer for a french assignment.

i want it to say:

This summer i went to Cincinnati. I visited my aunt and uncle. While there i went to Kings Island and rode all the roller coasters. Also i went to Detroit and watched the Tigers play. All around i had a pretty fun Summer.

My Translation:

Cet été je suis allé à Cincinnati. J'ai visité ma tante et oncle. Alors que je suis allé à l'île de rois(Kings Island) et roulé chaque les montagnes russes. Aussi je suis allé à Detroit et à regardé les Tigres jouer. Tout autour j'ai eu un été assez amusant.

Do I have the Correct translation. if not could you help me with corrections/suggestions

thanks so much for the Help.

=]

Answer 1

for the most part, this is pretty good. there are some minor errors.

in the first sentence, since you're female (i'm assuming based on your nickname) it should be "je suis allée." in the second sentence, it would make more sense if you said "ma tante et mon oncle." as for the third sentence, "alors que" means while in the sense of "whereas" (this sandwich is good while this one is better). if you mean while in the sense of at the same time, you should use "pendant que." the sentence also feels incomplete: it literally means while i went to kings island and rode each the roller coasters. here's a better phrasing: "pendant que j'étais là, je suis allée (don't forget the e!) à l'île de rois." honestly, i have no idea how to say to ride a rollercoaster. the closest approximation i can think of is faire un tour en montagne russe but this seems wrong. whatever verb you use, the structure "[verb] chaque les montagnes russes" is faulty. choose either "chaque montagne russe" (each roller coaster) or "toutes les montagne russes" (all the roller coasters). in your fourth sentence, remember the e at the end of allé again and it should be ai vu, not à regardé. also, better sentence structure: "ai vu les jeux de baseball avec les Tigres. your last sentence is fine as is, but you may want to change ete to vacances. i'm not sure if "my summer" translates the same in french (as in the same thing as my summer vacation)