Do i take my 3 year old to preschool if they continue to cry i dont want to go?

Question

hes been going for over 3 months and still cries i dont want to go i want to stay with you comes home cranky hungry and very tired please help

Answer 1

Hi Jeanette,

I think it depends on how he is when he is at school.  Does he cry or seem withdrawn and frightened the entire time?  If so, I would say you might want to pull him out and try again when he's four.  But, if he's fine when he's there then it's probably just separation anxiety.

If you keep him in I would mention to the teacher(s) about the hunger and thirst. Make sure they have a snack time each day and that your son eats (maybe ask him what he'd like packed as a snack).  He should also be allowed to have a water bottle at all times!

I have 3 and 4 year old boys and my 4 year old still gets teary sometimes on school mornings.  However he has a great time at school - he just loves his mama as does your son!

Good luck!  Let us know what happens!

Rachel

Answer 2

Consider keeping him home.

You are the best person for him.  Give him the loving security he needs.

And you can provide the learning environment that you are seeking from a preschool.  Spend time with him reading, enjoying nature, experiencing the world around him.

and....consider homeschool for the long run.  IT IS WORTH THE EFFORT!

Answer 3

The teachers at the preschool should be helping you with this.  If not i would take him somewhere else.

Answer 4

talk to the teacher

Answer 5

by all accounts it sounds as though your little guy is uncomfortalbe at the day care. check around on other day cares. find one where the workers are dressed for the job. i.e; sweat pants, jeans, t-shirts, comfortable shoes.. normally if a day care worker is comfortable the children will be.

Answer 6

When my daughter was in preschool she came home sleepy & hungry.  Most of the time when they fix them lunch it isn't all that filling.  If your child is in full day then they get a snack at about 2-3:00 normally consisting of something like peanut butter crackers & a glass of milk.  As far as the crying, I knew children that did that every day all school year long as soon as the parent(s) were out of sight they would calm down.  Preschool is a great place for kids to learn to deal with a classroom environment before Kindergarten.  It also helps them through the seperation anxiety.  Don't take your child out of preschool just pop in unannounced from time to time to see for yourself what may be going on in the classroom.  

Good Luck!

Answer 7

It depends on the daycare, u need to fix your child extra sip juices and a snack bag and toy to take with him.

Preschool gets the child ready for kindegarden.

But too much preschool is not so great, u need time at home

with your child, they grow too fast.

these are the best yrs of your life to spend with child and get

a bond for life.

Answer 8

... If he's coming home from preschool tired and hungry, perhaps you should 'drop by' sometime, unannounced, to see what's going on in his class - most preschools have a nap time after lunch, and a snack sometime after the nap. If their routine doesn't include that schedule, you may want to consider switching him to a different preschool where it is included - good luck! :) ...

Answer 9

still make him go, ask them what there feeding him and if he sleeps during the day.

Answer 10

I had this problem when my daughter was that age. We had just moved out-of-state and didn't know of an in-home sitter since we were new to the area. (That's all she had before and only had to go 3 days a week.) I know for her, it came down to the class size and not getting the individualized attention that she had before.

For the first 6 months, she was in a well-known, commercially visible facility. Although they did follow the regulated teacher/student ratio, it always seemed as if it was crowded and noisy. I don't know how anyone, let alone kids, could stand that chaos all day long! I felt so guilty for having her there. After the first few weeks, I thought it would get better but kept her there thinking that eventually it would be something she would outgrow.

We did some research and ended up putting her in an Emilio Reggia program that our local YMCA had. The cost was about the same for what I felt was a much better setting.

The environment was very much like being at home; comfy couches, natural lighting and lamps, tables with tablecloths, a Montessori-like curriculum. Since they had the lifeguard, the teachers would take them out swimming twice a week. They did lots of art actvities... really painting and sculpting, not just cutting and pasting things together. Everything they did was based on a particular science unit and they integrated literacy throughout the day. She absolutely LOVED that place and I was very sad when we had to leave.

Of course she's growing up, now she's in a pre-K class, academic program but is still doing well; again smaller class size.

Everytime I would go into the first daycare, she would get really stressed and cry. At the Y?? On the days that she didn't have to go or on weekends, she was always asking if she could go see "Miss Olga"! She still remembers Miss Olga and I was very pleased with how they maintained a clean, supportive, and stimulating environment for children. The teachers were very nurturing.

Bottom line: think outside of the box and look around. After doing TONS of research, the cost difference is usually not that much more. (At the Y, we ended up paying about $10 more a week but it was well worth it.) I would also try churches. Many times you don't have to be a church member for your children to attend. I'm not sure what state you're in but sometimes they can give you a list of in-home providers. In order to be on this list, they are inspected just like regular daycare facilities and have to meet high standards. (If you qualify for free or reduced daycare, they will pay all or some of the daycare fees.)

I will definitely keep you in my thoughts. Let us know how it goes!

Take care,

Mon :-)

Answer 11

You have to persevere because they have to realise they have to do these things, especially when they go to school, I would also speak to the preschool, find out what is going on there, must be something they dont like.

Answer 12

Yeah most children are like that anyway when they are put in a new environemt once the child gets adjusted they will be a okay!

Answer 13

I think most 3 yr. olds go through that separation from his mommy.  If he is crying while at preschool, then you should think about this again.  Have you spoken with his teacher about his behavior in class?

Answer 14

I would, i know how that is my sister used to do that. but once she warmed up she couldn't care if my mom left. you might want to talk to him about how fun it will be (before you go) and how excited his friends will be to see him and teachers. Its typically for kids to come home cranky i mean they are used to watching t.v. not have full busy days which preschool does but it does prepare them for kindergarten, because trust me it will just get worst. give him a earlier bed time if he really comes home tired. but you can do. good luck. :)  Oh ya and give him rewords if he is in a good mood for a week then you know buy him a little action figure or a bag a candy. i know it might sound like bribery but it really is just a reward.

Answer 15

Several random thoughts for you.  Hopefully some of them help:

What do the teachers say about what happens after you leave?  For example my daughter did that and usually she was just fine after a couple of minutes.  Is there any way you can observe what he does after you leave without him knowing you are there?  Sneaking up to a window to peek in after you leave to see what happens?

If you've stayed home with him up to this point then this is a very big change for him and you'll need to give him tough love to pull him through.  On the other hand if you've moved to a new daycare from another daycare I would take a hard look at the center.

I found that if I don't make a fuss at drop off time then it's less of a problem.  Put him in the teachers arms.  give him a QUICK kiss and them walk away without looking back.  Do this consistently and he'll get the message.  When you get home give him extra time and attention.  Turn the TV off and read to him spend extra time cuddling on the weekends.

Make the schedule at home match the schedule at school.  If snack time is a 9 am then give him a snack at home at 9am.  If naptime is from 1pm to 2:30pm then that should be his naptime at home.  The more consistency he has in his life the more secure he will feel both a home and at preschool.

Answer 16

Having worked in a pre-school myself i can say that this is not normal behavior. I would talk to the pre-school employees & see how he acts during the course of the day. If it seems like he is not being taken care of properly while in their care perhaps you should pull your child out of the pre-school & look into another. If your child is coming home tired, cranky & hungry it could be an indication that he is not receiving the attention he needs in this stage of his development.

I would suggest talking to the pre-school employees and make a judgement based on what they say. If you feel that your child is not being taken care of well enough then you should pull him out of that pre-school.

I do not have any children yet, but having worked for a pre-school & getting to know the staff.... I don't think i would ever put my child in a pre-school. I know some families don't have a choice, but I wouldn't want to subject my child to people like the ones i worked with. Just personal opinion, though... not saying ALL preschools are the same.

Edit: While i worked at the preschool there were many kids who had the same problem, but it took very little time for them to get adjusted and start enjoying themselves. I think 1 month is too long for a child to become accustomed to the change, so 3 months is definitely a bit much.

Answer 17

No, it sounds like something is wrong there.  My kids love it when they go to my babysitter.  If you're just taking him to learn then i would teach him something yourself.  But if it is cause you work, i would look for a different school or babysitter.

Answer 18

just occupy him/her and leave he will not notic you leave and they will have fun and eventually you wont have to sneak out

Answer 19

could be the school ,if he is still crying after 3 months I would make pop calls, ( unannounced visits) to see what is really going on and take it from there

Answer 20

It depends on your situation. Do you need the preschool so you can go to work? If not, If it were me, I would take the child out but dont tell him he gets to quit. tell him "friday is the last day of preschool" that way he (or she) wont think he can cry and get out of it next year. Maybe your child just isnt ready. I would advise a preschool one year before kindergarten , maybe half days or 3-4 half days will be plenty.

Answer 21

do they take naps and have a good lunch at preschool?  talk with his teacher about it, you may want to look into finding another preschool.

Answer 22

i think u should keep on taking him. i work in a preschool they had a kid that was like this for a few months but he finally settled down and adjusted to it. now he smiles and waves when i see him in the hall. its really good that the mother kept brigning him becuase they have to learn how to adjust to goint to school/and being away from the mother and being around other kids. i think preschool is just as much a social training as it is other things.

edited: i say this cause i know the teacher at the shcool is a nice one but like tohers have said if they are not taking proper care of ur son and thats the reason fro the outburts, then yes by all means pull him out

Answer 23

Have you talked to his teachers?  Some children cry every morning when their parent leaves and then stop as soon as the door is closed and go on to have a perfectly happy day.  

If he is hungry and tired you may want to talk to them about the nap and snack schedules and whether he is eating and sleeping okay.  Sometimes they may have a snack when they wake up from their nap but not another one before you pick them up, in that case take him a snack when you pick him up.  

I would talk to the teachers and tell them your concerns and see what they have to say about things.

Answer 24

This is what you call "Separation Anxiety".

Make sure he basic necessities are provided for -properly fed, enough of sleep, etc.

He needs lots of assurance that you're coming back for him. Meanwhile, you can try and understand what is causing him to protest -perhaps both of you did a lot of things together before he started preschool, hence he'd rather be with you. Assure him that things will not be any different. Perhaps stay in for a while and help him make a friend or two.

Good luck.

Answer 25

You can teach him yourself...?