Do like my poem i'm an ametur so tell the truth!?

Question

My life is a flower

waiting in the abyss

it seems to have no feeling

in what i'm gonna miss

my life is a flower

it is pure

but when i see something

i cry for a love

to be loved

to have love

and to be a person

Answer 1

the poem as the metaphor is ok but the problem is you just drop out abit in here:

you are talking about your life is a flower but  i see nothing as a discribtion of a flower. no feeling is not a flower thing, it is an object or every other object.

i like the word abyss but sometime, how does that connect to flower?

however, i like the last part that a flower is to be loved and yet, why does it need to be a person?

i like it still because somehow, it shows a sorrow and sad feeling that you think your life is not yet happy as a flower should be.

all this is my opinion///lol. no offend.

but i like the idea.

haianh

Answer 2

i smell it and it is smelling great

Answer 3

This is bloody fantastic! You have a rare talent. Oh my, this is just so evocative!