Do male victims of domestic violence get so little support...?

Question

... because the problem is seen as their own fault?

In the UK there is no government provision for male victims of domestic violence, yet plenty for female victims. Funding for drug abuse charities is generally low because the problem is seen as the fault of the drug abuse victim themselves; perhaps male DV victims are similarly seen to be responsible for their problem too?

Answer 1

Often that tends to be the case, the same way men often don't want to admit that they're depressed or have mental problems, also because the DSM-IV Criteria is more similar to how women express depression, also because society often sees it as a sign of weakness or a character flaw. The man because fearful that he is letting his guard down and becomes more insecure and the cycle continues.

Answer 2

I think that this form of abuse is vastly underreported, as men who are being abused by their partners feel ashamed  to admit to it, because they feel they'll be seen as wimps and suffer further, verbal abuse from other men, so they suffer in silence. This may be why there is so little support for male victims of domestic violence than female.

Answer 3

Try calling the cops and say my wife/gf just kicked me in the balls. They will laugh at you and tell you to get over it, then say, dont even slap her back or you're going to jail. Fair? Not quite.

Answer 4

Possible - the underestimation of the problem is a big issue too (through not reporting).

The problem is; you have a society which thinks all men are stronger and more threatening than women, and that women are nurturing childraisers, then it's harder to get people to take this problem seriously. It's one of those where the merging of gender roles would actually work to the advantage of men - especially these men. Whilst we view gender roles as fixed and separate it's going to be harder, and men are going to be more ashamed about admitting it. This might be why people possibly see it as mens fault? They have a preconception that women are weak and not physically violent.

Answer 5

Then start a support group, get your voices heard loud enough for the people and the govt to recognise it

Answer 6

No, I think the problem is one of a conflict between government funding and local authority targets.  The measures currently apply more to women than men only when concerning the provision of domestic violence shelters - however, the local authorities are supposed to identify gaps in provision and apply for funding.  The basic problem is that, if men do not come forward requesting provision - the local authority has no mandate to increase provision - especially if it cannot prove a need for greater funding, as this will entail taking money away from areas they do receive funding for, and which count towards the targets.

Admittedly, this is not an ideal situation, but it is also not true to say there is no provision at all for men - all other factors are equal and gender neutral with the exception of the measure I mentioned, and men forced to flee from DV situations still have a right to housing and assistance under homelessness provision - there are just no specific shelters for men (although some shelters do accept men).

The provisions of the BV 225 act are set to be changed in 2008, and implemented in 2009 - with the idea being that the targets, and therefore the provisions / funding will become gender neutral.  This will remove the ring-fencing for the funding and allow LAs to spend the money as they see fit - hopefully this will result in creased DV shelter provision for men :-)

http://www.mensaid.com/domestic_abuse/bv...

Answer 7

Men and women are equally victims of DV:

http://www.law.fsu.edu/journals/lawrevie...

This website has a lot of things to say, that's for sure, and they aren't lies at all:

http://www.shatterdmen.com/

The thing is, these links wouldn't exist if violence against men was a small issue. Why would a professor in law waste so much time putting together that research if it was pointless. And why waste time on a whole website like Shattered Men?

The thing is, violence against men is incredibly under-reported and even laughed at when sometimes reported. This has to do with the notion people still have that it is impossible for men to get hurt and even if they do, it isn't so damaging and they can easily recover. They are told to 'stay up and put up' or else be labeled as 'not real men'. And we call this the Machine Age. Seems like the Stone Age in the twenty-first century.

It seems incredible that men's issues in general aren't considered as serious as women's issues. Are men lesser mortals? Disposable and easily replaceable?

To get back to the point, men take attacks on sexuality very seriously, and therefore do not report DV.

There is this insignificant act called VAWA in the USA where a woman can lock up a man at will, no matter who the victim was. Don't believe me? I can explain:

You see, this has a must-arrest clause, where if a woman calls 911, the man will be headed to jail no matter who did it. Even if she beats him up, she has to say two words, 'self-defence', and the man will still be in jail. (I remember a story the asker posted once, will find it soon).

Even when false accussers are found out, they are incredibly given counselling instead of what the victim would have got otherwise: some jail time. Females are just too valuable to be punished for anything, aren't they? Bad mentality.

All this stacked up against men, yet I still don't see Britain or USA doing anything anytime soon. I'm sure the asker agrees.

Jo, forming a group would be no use, as any opposition to feminist purity and virtue suffers the Neil Lyndon treatment (who isn't far from the UK):

http://www.ukmm.org.uk/issues/suppressio...

EDIT: xiomange, all very well for you to say. You are one of the stone age people I'm talking about. Violence affects anyone badly, and moving on isn't as easy as moving on from one girlfriend to another. Wait till you become a victim. You will have no daddy or mummy to cry to for help. That's the way the system is, and then you will know what sympathy is.

Answer 8

Male victims of abuse simply are not deemed worthy enough for protection under the laws of most civilised nations.*

*Apologies to those who may or may not find my opinion in defiance of CG/TOS.  Furthermore, may I offer my apology for apologizing as it is my nature to do so under a regime of thought control in the hope that it will induce others to think twice before exercising their power to report my answers (baselessly) and feel a sense of great power and influence over my life.

I furthermore wish to apologize for my existence and my need to consume atmospheric oxygen to sustain critical metabolic processes and for the level of androgens in my serum.  Moreover, I apologize for the hormonal milieu (e.g. DHT) which surrounded me during organogenesis, particularly during my first trimester of gestation.  Deepest remorse to community members.

Answer 9

In our stupid feminist society violence is bad only when women are the victims.

Answer 10

In my opinion, it's not that males receive too little sympathy, it's that females receive too much.

The first time your spouse lays a single finger on you should be END OF STORY!!!!!

For both men and women. Period. Everything afterwards, should you choose to remain in the marriage/relationship is YOUR FAULT!

Yes, it's nice to have a shoulder to cry on. Yes, it's nice to have a support network to get you started on a new life for you and your children if you had little job experience and yes, denying one's feelings is bad. However, the accent should be on MOVING ON, not on fostering and creating a "victim mentality", so in that respect male victims are actually lucky.

Answer 11

What happens if effective mechanisms are developed to deal with Domestic Abuse? Do we reduce funding to Domestic Abuse Shelters? There is a fee being added in Illinois to Marriage Licenses to fund Domestic Abuse shelters. In Texas a fee that was added to Strip Clubs to fund Domestic Abuse was struck down by the Courts.

If the Domestic Abuse Industry develops methods that deal with mutual abuse, and Women's abuse issues. It will ultimately lead to a need for reduced services. That means less funding and fewer jobs. The Definition of abuse has also been expanded.

In some states criticizing your Wife's friends (alienation or isolation) is now considered abuse, criticism of her extravagant spending habits (monetary controlling behavior) is also considered abuse. Even stomping your feet in anger is considered a potential threatening behavior. Men can be removed from their home for simply being perceived of being a threat, in other words he could potentially abuse her. She did not feel safe. So now its a Woman's Feelings not any evidence of actual abuse is enough to constitute Domestic Abuse.

On this flimsy evidence a Man can be removed from his home. His wife or Girlfriend can gain control of his assets and obtain a restraining order. This happened to Yanni the Singer. Whose girlfriend assaulted him. Yet he was sent to jail and she had free reign of his house. Until his Attorney got her removed.

Answer 12

males more often suffer from 'common couple conflict' than actual battering, which means women may hit them, but don't often batter them - repeated blows to their physical and mental health.

also, men have more resources, on average, than women, so they can stay with a buddy rahter than a shelter.

as well, men don't fear for their life when they leave a home. for women, when they leave - it is the highest level of danger. this is the point when they have the highest risk of death.

there is a growing awareness of men as victims, due in large part to MRAs and Fathers Righters. Male gender roles have held men back from getting help on many fronts - mental health, screening, hospitalization, etc.  Women, often the care takers of a family and the source of emotional support, will breathe a sigh of relief, to say the least, when men admit they are human, and indeed need help. Men, of course, will directly benefit from modifying their gender role

Answer 13

I think there should definitly be more done.

Its as though they think males should fight with there wives back. =(

Answer 14

I feel it is almost pandering to a stereotype.

After about 5 years of abuse, our new neighbours reported the noise to the police (items being smashed etc). Give them their due, they arrived as I was recovering from a blow to the back of my head from some furniture. I was put in handcuffs - while they took the story from my (ex) wife, and she played up the marks on her wrists - when I tried to restrain her fists. She said her wrist may be broken - Went to hospital - where X ray said it was only a possible sprain.

In that time I was treated as a criminal and a liar.

About  8 months later she wanted a quick devorce - so she could marry a new man she'd found. By Law, the children are awarded to the female - and she was adamant this happened. I paid a large cash sum to make sure the children had a decent home , while I rented a flat.

Then the CSA came knocking (after I'd arranged 25% of my wage to support them as well). Because of their incompetance, I am seriously in debt now, and have to work 39 hours/week BEFORE I'm any better off than unemployed people collecting benefit - any less and It is not worth working at all.

I can not bring myself to hurt others. I think some women take advantage of the presumption that men are the aggressors.

Answer 15

it's a problem that unfortunately goes unreported in many cases, which is sad. men and women should both be able to live without abuse.

xiomange- no one should be abused.