Do many people not have children because they are afraid the kids would grow up to dissapoint them? or...?

Question

or the contrary?

how many of you are completely scared (or at least worried) of having kids just because you are afraid they'll turn out mean, or they'll dissapoint you. i just realized with something that happened to my family that parents CANNOT control their kids. i used to think that with the proper education, a child would grow up to be a decent person and used to kinda blame the parents (secretly) if the kid is horrible and respects no one.

but that isn't true.

at some point, they'll do whatever they want and you can't be there all the time to make sure that nobody will influence them?

i'm sure that a lot of parents knew nothing of what their kids were doing when one day they heard about them in jail or on the news because they did something bad.

and you don't have to deal or kill someone to dissapoint your parents, i still remember the way some kids talk to their parents and i keep wondering how did this happen. they're your parents for god's sakes. not your dogs, nor your slaves! the worst thing is that a good person would not treat their 'dog' that way.

it just gets me wondering, how would it feel to go through all that pain and raise a child all these years to have him spit on you some day because you refused to do something he wanted. am i the only one afraid of this?

what about the contrary? aren't afraid that someday you'll mess up and then your kid will remember it all his life and you end up losing him (at worst) or just not being close enough to him because of this?

if you do think about this, how do you think you can prevent it, and what do you do about it?

Answer 1

i cant believe someone would not have a child because of the fact that the child may dissapoint later in life. the child will grow up to be what it has been taught to be,respectful,courteous,trusting,kind,an... giving, if tought this growing up.i would love to have a child but can not due to pcos.every child goes through some hard times just like adults. we all make mistakes but lives can be turned around if we strive to make a change.we are all human, parents make mistakes and so do children, teach them forgiveness and understanding and there should be no problems when something arises.

Answer 2

This has never been a concern of mine, nor have i heard of anyone using it as a reason not to want kids. The people that i know either dont want kids because they simply arent the child-loving type, or they like a certain lifestyle that cant accomadate kids. I feel that if you go into parenting parranoid that sh*t is going to hit the fan, then it probably will. It has never been something that i was afraid of and it still isnt. I believe that i will be a great parent. If you try your hardest and things dont work out as you planned, then the journey was still well spent. Parenting isnt the only thing in life that you put your all into and may not get what you expected, but im sure you still do things for the experience memories and growth anyway.

Answer 3

It's a pretty big concern but realistically, we're all going to s***w our kids up - that's what our parents did and their parents before them!

We're having our first child in November and she was a 'surprise' pregnancy. We'd decided not to have kids because we didn't think we could support them financially. Now thanks to some crafty account work (no more fancy restaurants!) we know we can.

I guess what I'm saying is that there's a plethora of reasons not to have kids. When you do have them, you just do your best and hope it works out.

Answer 4

I was just the opposite. I was scared that I would disappoint them. Terrified actually. Even after 3 kids, I still worry.

But the great thing about having kids, is after a while you start noticing that your parents were not perfect and you turned out fine.

I was standing in my kitchen one day and it dawned on me, my mother was clueless when I was a kid. lol. I had always thought my mom knew it all. But when I had kids of my own, I finally realized no parent is perfect. We will all s***w up repeatedly. But hey, it gives them something to talk about in therapy. lol

You can only teach your kids and raise them the best you can. Then you have to let them go, and hope that you have given them the tools to fly on their own. They will s***w up, just like we did. But at the end of the day they will make their own decisions, and you will love them regardless.