Do married women get frustrated when letters addressed to the couple refer mainly to the husband?

Question

I've been married for five years and it makes me see red when for example a letter is addressed: Mr & Mrs J Jones, with no reference to the wifes initial. Do people think this is very old fashioned or am I complaining about nothing? Its very irritating because I have my own identity and people don't seem to see anything wrong with this!

Answer 1

This is old fashion type addressing that some people still do to this day.  I guess it refers to the old saying "a man's home is his castle".

I grew up seeing these kind of addresses come to my mother and father's mail. I always ensure to address to both ie:

Wayne & Betsy Smith

or< Mr & Mrs Wayne & Betsy Smith

It shows respect to them as a couple (particularly her).

Answer 2

well, you ARE mrs. j jones... you are the mrs. i guess i don't see what you are complaining about?? you ARE adressed. you are the mrs. part. that IS your identity. you took his name and became one.  

Answer 3

I've been divorced for 7 years and resumed my maiden name when I did.  I still receive mail from family members addressed using my former married name.  They have all been made aware of my name change too.  To me, that's much more annoying than when I received Mr & Mrs mail.  That never really bothered me one way or the other.

Answer 4

it's the socially acceptable way to address a married couple and has been for 100s of years.

i am sure there are more important things to worry about.  it's not a personal affront.

Answer 5

No it doesn't bother me at all when my husband and i get mail like this which is rare anyways.