Do men and women differ in this way?

Question

Generally, do men and women resolve conflict, argue and problem solve differently? It seems to me that many women are interested in talking about a problem, just to talk about it, whereas a man is interested in finding a solution. In regards to conflict resolution and arguing, aren't many women interested in bearing their feelings, where once again, many men are interested in finding the solution and getting on with it? If anyone is aware of scholarly studies or data collected on the subject I would appreciate it.

Anxious to read many view-points.

Answer 1

LOL that is my relationship in a nut shell. except instead of women talking about the problem she ignores me=( forgot to throw that one in. Ignores me then she talks about the problem and not the solution.

Answer 2

This is true.  Men must understand that a problem can't be solved without talking rationally about it.  I've not run into a man yet who understands this!

Answer 3

That has been my personal experience, although I can't point you to any scholarly accounts.

Answer 4

I have noticed that some women will argue for the sake of arguing and not really for the sake of finding a solution, and it doesn't make a difference if you give them a wrong or correct solution, they can't tell the difference. Sometimes they will come to a conclusion based on one factor or variable and no matter how many times you try to convince them that there are many more variables to consider before making that decision, they still will not care because they had made their minds up before thinking logically about obtaining a logical rational answer.

Answer 5

Without any data or studies to back me up, I will go on record as supporting your theory completely.  Although it was drivel, and I'm ashamed to even bring it up - this very notion was explained very well in 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'.  In it, John Gray explained that women often just want to vent about their horrible day - but their male partners want to jump to the resolution stage...without the sufficient amount of listening and consoling.  

That, my friend, is why successful marriages see the wife chatting and complaining with her friends about her troubles at work or with other friends.  She gets the ear she needs, and the husband doesn't get chastised for not reacting as she wants.

Answer 6

I did read in a magazine that for example if a woman's had a bad day at work, or a craoppy journey home she just wants to rant and have the other person agree. Wheras the man will annoy her by trying to find a solution.

Although I don't believe in gender difference I think this is true for different people, or for different situations.

When I had an office in my parents house and they kept disrupting me, generally being annoying I juist wanted to vent my annoyance. And hubby kept thinkign of wya sto change things, klike move my office somewhere else etc. But at that specific time, I was tired out and coulen't be bothered to think of solutions so just wanted to vent.

But it works the other way round when he's had an argument with his family and I try and talk to him about how to work it out and he just wants to vent his feelings then forget about it.

So in the two situations we were both the same. Maybe it's just how the other person reacts.

Answer 7

Yes, men and women definately resolve conflict in different manners. All of what you said is very true. Men are much more logical when it comes to solving a problem whereas women are more emotional. In the end we have to learn to compromise or the problem won't get solved at all. I know that I have certainly had to adjust my way of thinking to resolve the conflicts that my husband and I have and vise versa.

Answer 8

I'd prefer to find solutions.

Answer 9

I've found this to be true anecdotally in personal relationships.

Answer 10

lol that's interesting. Well, women do like to talk a lot about everything that's on their mind even when it may not be necessary while guys tend to just get to the point.

I read a report once that guys statistically score higher than women on multiple-choice tests, because the problems require little to no thinking and the answer is right there, while women score higher than guys on problems that actually require a little more thinking.

Answer 11

I believe in emotional honesty and believe the first step to conflict resolution is listening.you can be logical and emotionally true to yourself. it is only through really listening to how the other  person is feeling that clears the air long enough to get to the root of the problem

Many conflicts occur because of context and circumstance that give people different perspectives. The first step to discovering the distintion in perspective is to listen to feelings as the starting clue  

You must first identify a problem before you can solve it. Too many people come up with the solution before they listen carefully to the facts of the sitition, Good solution to the wrong circumstance caues more problem

when you say getting on with it you are skipping this vital step and create a barrier to real solotions. Define a problem before fixing a solution

The sexual sterotypes are wrong. There are babes that can be both smart and emotinally honest . I know because thats the type of woman i try to be so you cant lump all woman together

talking it out is the key to problem solvin solving and any reasonable man will do so that is not just a girl thing but a person who has a healthy problem solving approach

ok my ex bf  was type A--rush to judgement type guy and he missed the mark so many times. he thought that same way and it used to totally p**s off my normally sweet smart disposition when he would say" I dont want to argue with you jenny" That seems nice but the way he said it is that he didnt want to dicuss it, whatever the issues was. It wasnt nice though cus it was usually accompanied by some lame remark like is it time for your period

I believe the best approach is a combination of emotional honesty and logical thinking. You need both to solve a problem

effectively and i think the truest people of both sexes incorporate both and that there are immature people in both sexes that dont

bet you didnt expect such a long logical and enotional explanation like that from a cute babe

Answer 12

I would like to see some studies on this, because it just sounds like another generalization to me.

Answer 13

One difference that I have noticed is that women discuss the problem with other women to find a consensus. Not necessarily the correct answer, but one that everyone agrees on. Men will choose a solution and spend the rest of the conversation defending their position while attacking any others. General speaking though.

8 years of conflict resolution on the job

Edit: stonedbabe2000's

The last thing you want in any conflict is emotion. Just stick to the facts and avoid emotion at all cost.

I have had several classes on conflict resolution in my profession.

Answer 14

Generally, women are more co-operative, and more ready to seek compromise (and happier when they do), whereas men are more competative, but enjoy/are happier during arguments. Girls develop conflict resolution skills earlier than boys (linked to higher verbal intelligence. A generalisation, not applicable at the individual level). Women show greater obligation concern and less personal rights concern and men vice versa in the work place.

In peacemaking studies, women take more notice of relationship cues than men, and modify their behavoir accordingly in terms of whether competitivity will be affective. Men take more note of task cues. (Relational cues ARE important for effective solutions) Could be linked to non-verbal decoding skills. Good for predicting another's response to the conflict, which helps in resolving it. Women also used more self-disclosure; which resulted in closer relationships and greater satisfaction with the resolution.  There was no difference between males and females in reaching the objective of the conflict resolution workshops.

Age has a greater effect on efficent conflict resolution, as did attitude. The pattern of maladaptive techniques were different: younger women used calm discussion less and heated argument more than men, whilst younger men used violence more than women.

Mostly though, papers are dubious about the level of influence s*x has on conflict resolution factors, stating a larger effect or interaction effects of age, culture and education, etc. However, all adaptive conflict resolution involved discussing the problem. Men and women, when there were differences, tended to both have adaptive and maladaptive flaws, but both tended to reach a solution. I could not find data on the magnitude of the difference specifically. Mainly due to the doubts about the existance of gender differences, as mentioned above. Hope this helps.