Do men have the right to "have it all"?

Question

Juggling a career and parenthood may be stressful, it is possible when both parents are playing on the same team. When 'having it all' is something that the average man can't manage easily, what should be done about it? More paternity leave? Choosing to become more involved in family life? Pulling his share of the weight at home including childcare duties and chores?

Answer 1

not really..women tend to want everything too...its equal if ya ask me...

Answer 2

Just me: become a L*****n: trust me, it will stop some poor man from suffering through your misandrist nonsense!

Why is the woman expected to sacrifice her career?  Some reasons:

1.  You bear the babies, so you need time off work for that.  The world is NOT responsible for your choice, and career interuption is a consequence of you choosing to have children.  Men cannot bear children. Deal with it!

2.  Businesses are there for profit, not to support your choice in family planning.  Some will lend a hand, but otherwise, you are on your own.

3.  One view is that the man who is working IS participating in family life, just another aspect of it.  We then suffer from women like you who then claim that we do nothing for our families, when in fact we pay the bills.

4.  Paternity leave is far from universally available and lobbying for more is pointless in most places.  There is no support for it.

5.  I will pull my share of duties when at home, but I will not allow any wife of mine to drop the bundle as soon as I walk through the door at night.  It is not as if I have not been working for my family.

6.  The 'having it all' thing is something your hear of more from women these days.  A lot of the things you seek here are essentially extra duties for men.  Sorry, parenthood is a partnership, and you do get a bonus for spending most of your share of time in parenting duties: better custody treatment from the courts if that time comes.  So stop whining.

As regards the custody thing: you get a more than even break there because working women are still treated better.  You think guys have it so good?  At work all the time, treated like a cash-cow?

You are really whipping up the self-pitying and indulgent drivel now if for one second you think that most guys can't wish for something better to do.

Answer 3

I TOTALLY AGREE OR DISAGREE

THIS WORLD SHOULD NOT BE ABOUT MEN!!!

IT SHOULD BE PURELY ABOUT WOMEN!!!

Answer 4

Generally speaking, yes. If they've made the correct decisions to EARN it as I have, then absolutely..

Answer 5

You are so right!! Seriously why dont men see this? WHY? Its clearly very obvious. I just dont understand it! I just dont! How in the world do they expect us to do everything and they only have to do one thing (make money) in their minds?? And then when you point this out they dont seem to get it? I know why its because they just dont give a s.h.i.t

Im in my early 20s and the older i get the more i despise men, Lesbianism is looking pretty dam good to me right about now lol

Answer 6

Society has bred this notion of 'having it all' to encourage peopel to carry on working. Like you have no proper worth if you aren't a career woman. It's just to get more people to make money for the government.

Answer 7

i realsise from reading these pages i am very very lucky. when my daughter was born my husband did 50% of the night feeds, cleaning, cooking etc. when she was born i was finishing my second year of degree (february this year) i took 1 week 5 days off and then was back in one day a week. i passed all my essays and didnt hand one in late.

i was in college on my due date and after finishing my second year in May i started back at work 21 hours a week when she was 3 months old.

My daughter gets loads of time with me and my husband and we easily manage us both working, running house, cooking, cleaning, me finishing degree etc cause we work together. When i am doing something my husband looks after my daughter and vice versa.

my daughter is being brought up by equal shared parenting by her mum and dad, just like i was. my mum was a nurse and my dad was catering manager (they both still are) and they did 50% of everything each too. It didnt affect their marriage they have been together 40 years so far.

By sharing things it isnt stressful and i have found the tranisition in to family life easy cause i always get the proper rest i need as does my husband, this makes us more effective parents.

EDIT: Thank you MS Happy. Times will change and we will get there some people just havent moved forward yet. I dont know why some men arent entusiastic for these changes to. My husband (and my dad) love the opportunity to bond with their children. They both also appreciate because me and my mum work they dont have to work lots of overtime and have more time at home to. Surely a work/life balance for both genders should be what we are all striving for?

men more times with kids and wives more time to pursue interests outside the home.

Answer 8

Its absurd to think that an average person can "have it all".

Perhaps if a culture of narcissistic introspection and a false belief that men are entitled to "have it all" was introduced we would mistakenly believe that we should.

Is feminism the first belief system to tell its followers that utopia could be found here on earth?

No

Confucianism did state that if we found synchronicity with the heavens through following complex predetermined behaviours, social constructs and laws here on earth, we would find utopia.

I think comparisons can be drawn.

I for one, am certainly confused.

EDIT @ JUST ME, you are wrong, men do give a ****, generally modern men in a "traditional" home are on child duty from then they get home til they leave in the morning and most of the weekends and holidays.

Anyway, it no longer matters, a sahm is increasingly something only the rich can afford.

How oppressive is that?

Don't listen to feminists, be a L*****n if you want, but leave out the man-hating, nobody likes a bigot ; )