Do men wish they could spend more time with their families?

Question

Do men really not want flex time? Paternity leave?

Please read the following link....http://news.mensactivism.org/node/10209#comments

I have been going through the men rights links I was given and I agree with a lot... I think that young boys should be protected from statutory rape by teachers. I believe that if a man is a good man he should not have to fight for access of his children. But I was offended by the comments made on this page and couldn't believe that a man fighting for his rights could say "This proposal may help the few men that geniunely want this but it can't be expected that men are going to all start working flexible hours in droves and it can't be expected that men will do "equal" childcare and "equal" housework."

What do you think?

Answer 1

Wow, i have heard my father wish to himself that he could be with us all day.

Answer 2

Yes, there are plenty of men that do want to spend time with their families and would embrace flex time. I question that man. Something is fishy.

You can't expect all women to embrace flex time either. It seems more of a human issue. Intelligent people will embrace flex time because it gives them more control over their time. It is also beneficial to companies if people are mature and responsible to handle the responsibility and privilege.

I know plenty of men that do help out with childcare and housework. I think we will see more of that in time, well the potential exists. Things are always changing though so it's possible that we revert back to the 1950s where one spouse stays home. With children, I think that might be a good thing but I'd rather never see another baby boomer generation again. Baby boomers have had it too good and they didn't appreciate it.

Answer 3

I'm requesting overtime.

Answer 4

I want equal treatment...

I may not want paternity leave but want to be compensated for not taking one.

Answer 5

Most men want to spend more time with thier families, but often that conflicts with the desire to provide for you family which means working hard and succeeding on the job

ITs a sacrifice many men make so thier wives can be more flexible when it comes to family

Answer 6

I see your point, but when speaking of mens rights with children often refers to those who are single fathers. But when referring to men in two parent homes (as this does)I think men are still the main providers in the family, so quiting a job which is long hours or less flexible yet able to provide the main income to the family for one with more flexibility, less hours and lower pay is not as convenient....especially with today's job market and economy.

Answer 7

One can only hope.

Answer 8

I think more men would like to be present within and participate in the family unit. I think offering partenity leave is a great way to move towards this, but I think there also needs to be less pressure on men to work long hours. Men can also choose less demanding careers if necessary, and with women working to support the family as well, perhaps families can begin to agree that both parents working some of the time and being home at other times would allow them both to participate in the family.

I agree that it's unfair for men to expect not to participate in housework and childcare, as those are integral parts of spending time with your family. Women have been doing all that, as well as working and spending time with their families for some time now and if a woman's paid labour could allow a man to be home with his family more often, it seems fair that he should participate in child care and housework. Just because it isn't paid, doesn't mean it's worth less. Besides, if both parents are working, then housework should be shared anyway.

Answer 9

I don't get it...what's all the fuss about men getting JOINT custody then? All the fuss about how men are not "treated fairly" in the family court system? Are those men also the same guys who will say "Women have the upper hand in family court" and that "men get the shaft in a divorce?"

Don't they realize that if they DO get joint custody, or full custody, they will HAVE to work flex time, or cut back their hours, just as women have HAD to do? And don't they realize that, if they DON'T take measures to do a more equal share of the child care, and be home more, that the women, who would obviously be the PRIMARY CARE-GIVER, at the point, WILL get full custody, BECAUSE she was the primary care-giver? I would love to look back at those guys other posts and see how many of them complain about "unfair" treatment in the family court system. Who wants to bet MOST of them do?

Also, these are the same guys that complain that "feminists" aren't really about equality because they don't do anything for men's causes, AND they complain that "feminists" think that men aren't important in families, AND they say that feminsts think that men are good for nothing but a paycheck. What's up with this hypocrisy?

Despite the OBVIOUS attempt to BETTER the plight of fathers, this measure is trashed. They simply, irrationally, hate "feminists"...and from the content of their posts, women, too.

My question is: Why don't these guys want to spend more time with their families? And what is the first thing you think they'll say when the mother is awarded custody, because SHE did most of the child-care?

Answer 10

Yes of course.  We are not all cardboard cutouts.

We actually are human beings and a lot of us want to have parenting time with our children.

Answer 11

There is this view that working men are not carers for their children.  My parents taught me that both of them were doing it for the family, just differently.  Time and circumstance dictated my father being out from 6am to 7pm daily, buthe was working for us, so was an equal partner in child rearing so far as my mother was concerned.  

When my mother returned to work later on, she was not condemned for spending time away from her children, so why is the act of breadwinning considered both essential act by a man and an act of fatherly abandonement of his children?  This cannot be reconcilled.  When my parents were home together, parenting and domestic activities were equal.

Despite all those who would claim otherwise, time is a factor to consider: if the man is the sole breadwinner, than d**n right he should not be picking up half the parenting responsibilities or household duties.  If both parents work, then that is different, and will vary according to the hours they work.  Flexi-time only benefits a relatively few industries, and it does have implications, at least for where I live, as regards promotional opportunities and income.  Sorry to get so base, but the filthy lucre is a necessity, and a certain amount of work, if you are paid hourly, is necessary.  Jobs such as teaching, nursing, even most supermarket positions are difficult to flexi-time.  Remember also that paternity leave is all well and good, as an idea, but it is expensive to society: most nations don't have it, and most western economies can't really afford it.

This is why I work for myself from home.  It is much better than wrestling through traffic to get to a job that I might well love, but keeps me away from home.  My wife works with me, and we have an agreement: housework waits until we both decide to pack it in for the day.  We are yet to have children but this will most certainly benefit them as well.

Answer 12

Yes, I think they do. I've seen some opinion polls to the effect. My dad used to leave for work at seven in the morning and come home around six; I think he likes teaching better for that reason.

I've worked flextime before, and it's heavenly. As long as you get all your work done by the deadline, you can come and go as you please. Why anyone would choose 9-to-5 over that is beyond me. As for equal childcare and housework, that's for each family to decide for themselves, but flextime and similar policies could be good incentives.