Do most parents find it offensive if some people dislike children?

Question

I'm one of those people. And the reasons are because too many girls want kids and they're making my dating pool small; kids are a huge expense and responsibility; I have no tolerance for kids.

Is it normal for a man to resent children and girls who want them, knowing that he has less dating opportunities because he would want a wife someday, but no kids?

PS: I don't mean any offense to parents who are going to read this question.

Answer 1

I don't find it offensive if people don't want children (though I don't understand it) but I do find it offensive if people actually dislike children. How can anyone not like children in general? It's weird to me. It's like not liking a puppy or kitten, just weird, I don't know...

Answer 2

I personally do not find it offensive when people dislike children. What i do find offensive is when they loudly voice it calling them abusive names. That winds me up.

I accept not eberyone in life wants kids.

Answer 3

Well I'm with Marley on this one, I just don't understand how anyone can dislike children, ok fair enough if certain children are lil a$$holes because of poor parenting ok I get that those children you might not like, but to dislike ALL children I think is horrible and think it's selfish attitude to look at it at people having kids is making your dating pool smaller, I'm not offended by it in the slightest I feel sorry for people like that, I couldn't imagine growing up alone without kids, I have 2 beautiful lil girls (5&3) and we're trying for no #3 now, (plus my 2 step daughters as well 12&15yrs).

Imagine yourself old and grey (like really really old) in a retirement home with your partner or maybe your partner passes a long time before you, and not having your kids and grandkids visit, omg that would be sooo lonely and very pointless of life. We need to have children to make sure there is a future. But oh well each to their own right! Good Luck with your dating.

but lol you say now you never want kids, I've met a number of people who swore that, and nope years down the track they did meet the right one and now have kids, time can change anyone, don't close your heart and mid off to anything yet. Just see what life brings.

Answer 4

To me, it's not offensive, it's just not the norm.  Most people seem to like children and want children of their own at some point.

Answer 5

Yes, I find it offensive. Wouldn't you find it offensive if I treated you like dirt because of your height or age or hair colour?

I don't expect you to have tolerance for bad behaviour from kids. But I do expect you to be equally as tolerant of my kids as you are of other adults.

"Less dating opportunities"? Women are not a commodity. Either there's the right woman out there for you or there isn't - you appear to have a foolproof way of knowing who won't be right, so what's the problem? What the heck do you need a "dating pool" for? How many women do you plan to try out?

Answer 6

There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids but never is a strong word. You don't want them right now because you are enjoying yourself and you don't want the responsibility.

I wouldn't worry yourself about it, you may find one day because you've met the right woman you do want kids, in the mean time no one is forcing you to have them. :O)

Answer 7

First of all you can't resent a girl who doesn't want children. You are just going to have to be truthful and find someone who feels the same way. There are girls out there who feel the same way, I am sure.

Answer 8

No, it's not offensive and I completely understand why some people don't want kids.  Kids are a huge commitment, emotional and financially.  If someone feels they don't want to make this commitment, then IMO, they shouldn't have kids.

I wish more people would actually think about the commitment before having kids, then maybe we wouldn't have so many cases of parents abusing their kids.

Answer 9

Perfectly said that first person, well kinda!  I have a little girl and prego 13 weeks now,  I love my daughter wish I have 3 like her!  But other people's kids annoy me, They dont listein-The reason you dont like kids is b/c they aren't yours which is understandable to me even as a parent!  But if you dont want kids you will find a man that feels the same it just takes time!  Normal!

Answer 10

I can't answer for *most* parents, but I personally don't find it offensive.

It's their opinion, so why anyone would be offended by that has me beat!

I might get a bit defensive if someone didn't like my children though, but that's just a maternal instinct I think! LOL

Answer 11

As long as you make this clear to the girl as soon as the relationship becomes a proper relationships-esp before you move in, get engaged or anything like that :)

This way you dont end up upsetting the girl in the future. There are women out there that dont want children so you may fnd her if you keep looking.

Otherwise you could try dating websites-you can write it on your profile straight away hehe!

As for the resentful feelings-yes you shouldnt resent someone for their choices in life...

Answer 12

I don't find it offensive at all.

I would only be offended if you were negative towards MY children.

I am in regular contact with a lovely lady who is my father-in-laws cousin in UK and she is in her late 50's and did not want to have children. I have no issue with these.

However, she sometimes refers to them as brats or pains or something similar and I am very quick to remind her that I do not put down her choices or call her names or question what she does with her life and I expect her to have the same respect for me.

Answer 13

There are women out there who also don't want kids.  You'll need to look at the older woman though, like over 40 probably.  After this age, most women are done with kids.

Answer 14

I am a woman and I feel the same way. All my friends are now having kids - and after they do they become really really really BORING! Its seriously affecting my social life. Wannt be friends lol

Answer 15

yes, they do.

Answer 16

I can't stand it when they act like spoiled brats and my kids did.  But kids have lots of needs and they should get cared for properly or they will grow up with emotional problems.

Answer 17

h**l I hate children and I am a parent...oooo bad wording.  I have a son and he fits in so perfectly with me and my family however I can't stand how kids act and behave now a days. I hate going to the store adn seeing brats take over.  I understand how you feel.

Answer 18

I'm the same.  I like horses, but lack the commitment to own and care for one.  Most parents do a lousy job of raising children, which is why society is in the state it is, let alone the ever smaller pool of resources we all have to share.

    These people with 5 or 6 kids - what do they get from the 5th that they didn't get from the first four?  I think they just like the power of being able to make and enforce rules.

Answer 19

No, I don't find it offensive that you don't like kids or want them. But I would be offended at you disliking a girl who wants kids. If you want people to accept you, than you need to accept others. The 'dating pool' is not there to make your life easier. So what would offend me is that if I want kids, you automatically resent me. That would offend me. You don't have to like kids or want them, but I would be offended because you resent me for wanting them.

Not all women want kids. You will find the right girl for you.

Answer 20

We fear what we don't understand.

For some parents, they can't understand why some people don't have the same feelings about children they do.

Answer 21

I don't find it offensive.  But it is really hard to consider marrying a man that is against having children.  Even with birth control there is a chance that your wife could get pregnant, no matter how careful you are.  So they would think; What if I accidentally get pregnant? Will he hate the kid? Leave me?  I knew a couple that married and didn't want children.  She thought she was pregnant and told him she had not seen a doctor yet but that she was almost certain she was pregnant.  He got mad and told her off and left right then.  Her parents came from their home state to take her home that night.  Well come to find out she wasn't even pregnant but of course they got divorced.  His reaction did offend her of course.

Answer 22

I don't find it offensive.  To each his own, I say.

Besides that, right now I have all teenagers and I think you're pretty darn smart to feel this way.  I was the idiot.

Answer 23

I don't find it offensive, but you are going to have to find a girl that is a self centered as you!!