Do only women who pay their share of the bills demand that hubby does his share of the chores?

Question

or is it something all women demand ?

Answer 1

Most of the time, yes, but I think a lot of homemakers expect their husbands to do the "male" chores (cutting grass, shoveling snow, taking out trash, anything you'd hire a handyman to do). No matter what their wife does, however, a husband should have an equal hand in taking care of the children. That's BOTH their domain.

Answer 2

Well if the wife does nt works in the society bt as a home maker then i guess 90% of e household chores shld be done by the wife. But if the wife works in the society then chores have to be shared among both husband and wife. After all if a wife works she will contribute to the household income too. Jst a fair rate for the husband to contribute the same amount of finances and effort for the family.

Answer 3

Well, I don't 'demand' that my husband do anything in the house, but he just does stuff anyway.  He likes cooking, so he often cooks the dinner, and he cleans up when he feels like it.  He's much tidier than I am and always telling me off for leaving stuff around.

Although I wouldn't particularly mind if he didn't do anything around the house now, since our sons are at school full-time, I used to get very very tired when they were small and at home all the time, and I was appreciative of the help.

Answer 4

I can't speak for others but at my house we're fairly traditional in terms of chores.  

He does the majority of the yard work and I do the majority of the indoor work.  Because I work full time sometimes I fall a bit behind so on the weekend he usually helps out with a couple of chores so we can get caught up and go golfing or something and not have to worry about it when we get home.  On the other hand, sometimes if the weather doesn't cooperate and all the yard work gets put off, I'll do the weed whacking or clean out the fireplace.

No one should have to demand anything.  You're supposed to be a team.  People who love each other and are considerate of each other don't need to make or submit to demands, they just help each other.

Edit:  As for the money issue, I do all the banking because it's a chore he both doesn't like and is no good at.  Every other week I pay the mortgage out of my pay cheque and on the opposite week I pay the bills (hydro, gas, phone etc) out of his.  Most of our "spending money" comes from his cheque because the mortgage amounts to about 3 times what the rest of the bills are, so while he maintains most of our daily living expenses I keep the roof over our heads.  I've also set up automatic withdrawls every week, from both of out pay cheques to go into savings.  We're both looking forward to a nice vacation this year.  Does this sound like an acceptable system to you?

Somedays I really get a kick out of coming here are reading the posts but other days I find it just makes me sad that people treat each other so badly and their attitudes have become so negative.

I hope that someday all you really mean negative men find the right girl and she restores your faith in the female of the species because we're really not all that bad.

Answer 5

That's funny, my experience was my wife stays home and quits her job while I'm in Iraq, she tells me she's paying the bills, but is spending it on her own leisure instead. And leaves me with the built up bill when i come back, and she cuts and runs.

So while i was making the income, she was spending it on everything but household bills, oh she even sold my car in the process.

I don't kinow, i guess i didn't do enough chores for her.

Answer 6

If one stays home and the other works then the housework is the "homemakers" job. The other shouldn't have to do housework when the homemaker is home all day.

Why should you go out and do all the work then come home and do all the work?  Get some backbone or a new partner.

Answer 7

this is what a happy healthy home life is about. sharing the load. when you decide to go and live together, then there are two of you, not just one, so its half the load. if she has to demand it, then you attitude may be lazy. maybe you should do these things without her having to beg. she will be happier, you will have less hassle and life is easier!

Answer 8

If I demand it does not get done or if I pester him he resists also. I ask him nicely and he seems more eager to do the chore.

Answer 9

Not sure.  I work, pay the bills, AND do all the cleaning and cooking but it because I actually like to cook and clean.  Believe it or not.

Answer 10

Ideally, for me, any relationship I'm in would involve two people contributing money, and two people contributing to household labor.

If my husband decided to stay at home and take care of the house, I would expect him to do MOST of the housework. But I would still clean up after myself (like any reasonable adult would), and I would give him additional help as needed, especially if kids were involved. My mom was a SAHM and she pretty much never got to rest... I would feel guilty about forcing my husband to basically work 80+ hours a week while I got to work 40 and then come home and relax. I would never want to be the kind of spouse who sits on my butt and watches TV while my partner does nothing but work, work, work and clean up after me. That's just selfish.

Given that I feel that way, I think it's safe to say that I feel the same way when the situation is reversed. In my experience, taking care of a house and kids is a lot more demanding than working 9 to 5, so working partners do need to help out those that stay at home. They shouldn't be doing half of the housework, just enough that their partner is not perpetually exhausted.

Answer 11

Unfortunately not.  Many people, male as well as female, only look at their contributions to a relationship and not their partner's.  In any realtionship each partner should be willing to give 100%, but some people feel that they only have to be there, look good, or bring home the bread, and that makes them a more than an equal partner.

Answer 12

All women in my opinion, as it should be.

Answer 13

yes all women must demand it! my partner doesn't pay any bills at all and i do the cleaning, cooking and tidying up yet she still demands me to do things such as feed her animals, lock the doors, pull the curtains etc

Answer 14

The man lives in the house, he should help clean up after himself.  

He dirties the toilet, shower and bedroom too.  He eats in the kitchen and throws things away and dirties clothes, he should help out.

EDIT: If the women is a stay at home wife or mom, they can't pay the bills but working at a job all day is different than cleaning the house.  And just because a man pays the bills, doesn't mean he can be a slob and not pick up after himself or help keep the place clean.  For your information, I earn the exact same amount of money as my husband (military), and actually take home more than he does after all of our alotments and bills are paid.  I also clean the house and help him take care of his son.  A marriage (or even just living together) is about being equal and no one is better than the other, and not only one person should have to get on their knees and scrub the toilets.

Answer 15

I've never had to demand that my partner do his half of the chores and he's never had to demand that I pay half the bills.  It simply seems to be a pattern that we fall into.  Maybe it's the caliber of men I date, or maybe it's just that there are no misconceptions about what each person is expecting by the time we move in together, but its a non-issue for my relationships.

I teach, so every summer I'm (basically) unemployed.  I take care of ALL the housework (but I don't cook...we don't want to die from food poisoning) to give us extra time to play together.  I'm still paying my half of the bills since I'm still getting a check, but I CHOOSE to take on extra responsibility so that we, as a couple, can have more quality time together.  He has done the same on extended vacations or leaves of absence.  Neither of us has ever had to DEMAND it of the other...

Answer 16

Heck yea!  if he helps make the mess, he should help clean the mess.   BUT, it's typical that the females to the housework regardless if they have a job or not.   I was raised just that way, OLD SCHOOL.  However, I am raising my son just the opposite.  In my next life, I want to be a man!!!!

Answer 17

My wife refused to do her full share of the chores when she was not working.  Now she is working, she refuse to do her full share of the chores now, becuase she is paying half her share of the bills.  Whether she was working or not, she did only one fourth the share of chores always.

She has always demanded I do my share of the chores.  

Of the chores that is left out, we either have to live with it for I have to get it done by paid work/repair etc.

Answer 18

If he has a 'share' of the chores then no-one should have to 'demand' that he do them.