Do other moms with babies feel this way?

Question

i'm not looking to get bashed here but i'm almost 20, have a 5 month old, i love him so much and he always comes first, but some days i feel really down and miss my life i used to have and other days i am feeling really good. is that normal or am i a bad mother here? is that postpartum dep. or do i still just have adjusting to do? when my son first came home i cried for a week straight. i dont know why i was so excited for him, then the 2nd day at the hospital i started feeling different, so thats why i ask.

Answer 1

You are 100% normal my dear. You are young and ofcourse you miss having freedom to do what ever you like. That doesn't make you a bad mom. Running around acting on those feelings, leaving him alone would make you a bad mom. I had 2 kids at your age and I used to think I'd go crazy if I didn't have some adult company sometimes.

I would speak to your doctor though, if there is something that would help you should have it.

No one should bash you for being honest here either. i don't know of anyone, young or older, who doesn't feel over whelmed at times.

Your hormones are still wonky and you react to things differently than normal also.

I have to head off to work but I wanted to tell you that you are not alone. Try to find some moms in your area to socialize with and get out of the house. that helps a lot. good luck.

Answer 2

Oh I totally understand! My pregnancy with my husband was NOT planned!! So it did take me a while to adjust. He's 4months now, and there are times that I wish I had my old life back, but wish it also included my son!!

It does get easier!!

Answer 3

This is very normal. esp when you are a very young mother and didn't have much life experience before becoming responsible for another human being.

you can still do things, and have a life...but you have someone else to consider before doing so. being a parent is the hardest and the BEST job you will ever have.

i had my first child when i was 20, my last when i was 30

Answer 4

Sounds like normal thoughts and feelings to me.

Hang in there... it gets easier.

Answer 5

I always think about the life I used to have, But now I also think that I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't a mom.

When I found out I was pregnant, I cried for weeks. The trick is to be thankful for your little boy. There are hundreds of women wishing they could have babies.

Just remember, If you ever get upset just place him in his crib and go to another room for a while or call a family member or friend over to help you or sit with you.

Answer 6

Motherhood is a transition. Some women jump into it, other women grow into it. And simply because it may take you a little more time to adjust to your new role, and everything that comes with it, does not mean that you are any less of a great mom. You are very, very normal!

It has been seven years since I started having kids, but I still have days where I look around and say "How did this happen?" There are days when I still mourn the times before I had children. It isn't because I don't love being a mom, but there are stresses and worries and responsibilities that I didn't have pre-kids. Sometimes, on days when my mom job is particularly hard, I miss those days. But I still meet my responsibilities to my family, I still find many reasons to LOVE being a mom, and I still take good care of my children. You don't have to love every minute of motherhood to be a wonderful mother.

I would just tell yourself that no matter how you feel on a particular day, if you are loving and caring for your baby, then you are doing the right thing. Of course, if your feelings start to interfere with your ability to function, then you need to talk to a doctor or therapist.

Good luck. You are doing a great job!

Answer 7

You know, I felt the same way.  The first few days at the hospital were great and then I went home.  I lost all 16 lbs in about 2 weeks because I had the "baby blues".  I am 30 years old and a pharmacist.  I felt like I have completely sacrificed my career and social life.  I am working 1-2 days per week now and have started to come around.  For a long time, I felt the same way you did and exactly the same thoughts.

I miss my old life as well BUT you will come around and as your baby gets older, you start to  play and read to him/her and then they start to babble and crawl...it has been a joy!!!

Now, we are not doing day care and I stay home 5 days a week and there are times where I miss shopping and going to dinner and YOU STILL NEED that time away from home.  Make sure that you give yourself that every week.  

You are young...the time will come fast and you will feel a little better in a short while.  Just keep strong, take care of your baby and yourself.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

I had my son when I was 20 as well and I don't ever remember feeling the way you do. It was expected since my Husband and I agreed that we were ready for him. Don't remember ever dealing with post partum. Everything was great from the start, still is and he's 7 years old now. My second is 5 months old and I don't feel depressed at all. I love every minute I have with them, my life was vague before I had them, nothing that I miss about it.

I maybe generalizing but I noticed that the younger females with unplanned pregnancies are usually the ones who deals with "postpartum", or maybe it is just too much for them to handle and it takes time for it to actually sink in that they are now a parent and must now be responsible for another human being. Some eventually will do it willingly while others would rather not because the "old" life was so much better. The only tears rolling down my eyes are tears of happiness.