Do people's opinions affect the choices you make?

Question

Do people's opinions affect the choices you make?

In my case, I always feel as if I'm living for everyone else. I will drop anything as soon as my dad, mom, bf, friends, anybody says they don't approve. More and more I am starting to see that it is my life and any mistakes I make are mine to make and learn from. No my decisions aren't always the best but they are MY decisions. I know if I would just do what I want (I'm 19 btw, I'm actually old enough to do what I want) I would be a WHOLE lot happier than I am now.

Even though you know something may not be the BEST choice, do you let others talk you out of it or do you do what you feel will make YOU happy?

I'm not talking about drugs or bad stuff...I'm talking about loving someone people say you shouldn't or moving out when ur parents disagree. THings of that nature.

Answer 1

I always listen to what others have to say about it, especially my close friends or my parents, and take their concerns into consideration, but in the end it is my choice, and I am the one who makes it.

It's one thing to listen to others' concerns, it's another to make a decision based solely on what others have to say.

Answer 2

Do what you feel is right

Answer 3

IF I LISTENED TO MY MOM WHEN SHE SAID THAT I SHOULDNT MARRY MY HUSBAND...THEN WE WOULDNT BE CELEBRATING OUR 1ST ANNIVERSARY LATER THIS MONTH, AND WE WOULDNT HAVE OUR GORGEOUS 4 WEEK OLD BABY GIRL.

DONT LET PEOPLE INFLUENCE YOU IN DECISIONS YOU MAKE. IF YOU FEEL LIKE WHAT YOUR DOING IS GOING TO MAKE YOU HAPPY THEN DO IT. STOP LIVING FOR EVERYONE ELSE.

Answer 4

First of all you are right if you always live for everyone else you will never be happy or get anywhere in life... Your life is your life and like you said your mistakes are yours to make... You will be so much more unhappy in life if you dont stop living for everyone else and START LIVING FOR YOURSELF.... Who you choose to love or not love is your choice and if you let others make the choice for you...You will end up alone and always wondering why or what could have been.... TRUST ME I HAVE BEEN IN YOUR SHOES..... I used to be just like you if someone didnt like who I was with I would break up with them... And if I didnt live my life around them they were mad.... You have to give up on making every one ELSE happy and make YOURSELF happy.... You will get so much further in life if you live for you and not for everyone else... Good Luck

Answer 5

I ask the opinions of people close to me, but in the end its my decision.

But I remember feeling that way at your age.  I was still financially dependant on my parents living at home.  Since I was dependant on them, it was their way or the high way, and they had me convinced I couldnt do it on my own, that my way was c**p.

In the end, you just have to set your foot down and say enough is enough.  On the other hand, you have to stand by that.  If you dont want your parents making your decision, then you need to be out on your own and financially independant from them.  Because in the end, as along as they are still carrying your purse straps, you are more or less under their control.

I finally just had to make my own plans and moved out of state.  It was very very hard.  Very hard.  And I made mistakes and got into trouble (nothing legal, but like I over drew my account, had to get myself out of it and things like that) But it was my decision.

Answer 6

I find the older I get, the less I'm concerned with what people may think of me.  

With the situations you've listed here (loving someone and moving out) there could be underlying reasons your friends/family have differing opinions than you.  Sometimes, especially in love, we cannot see the big picture.  Emotions can get in the way of judgment.  Your friends/family may see something that you yourself cannot.  The same with moving out.  I know, when I was younger, that when I got excited about a plan, I sometimes didn't think everything through (especially when it came to money).  One very, very bungled up plan involved getting a beach house and moving out for the summer.  I don't want to get into all the details, but my mom told me later that she saw things were going wrong, but didn't tell me.  As she said "you had to figure it out for yourself".  

Can you talk to your family/friends about why they are having differing opinions than you?  There may be reasons that you can't see.  

Good Luck.

Answer 7

If i would have listened to everyone when I met my husband at 15, and moved in together, I would have never had the life I currently do. We chose to get pregnant and married when i was 17, moved 2200 miles had our daughter, bought our house, and then had our son, and now are having our last baby. I am right where I was meant to be and we are loving it! Almost everyone said everything you can imagine. That he was a looser and I was a tramp(got together when i was 15, he had just turned 20), that we were stupid and didn't have a clue (all while researching realestate here for years and making a feasible plan). That it was stupid to get everything for a house when we were dating, and storing it all...because "we'd never stay together to fill a house with it"(still have a ton of the stuff we bought together for our future home at the time). That we had ruined our lives when we got pregnant (which we chose, because we knew it was the right time for us). That we should have never got married, and it's never last (still here in love now more than ever, and cherish waking up to one another). The list goes on and on.

Ironically it is all of the ones that have failed in their life that were saying these things. It was the people who couldn't hold onto relationships, were maried/divorced time and time again, were horrible with finances, and didn't own anything of value, half of them were/still are drug addicts and violent people.

After a few years we realized that none of it could have possibly been justified or true, because we did make it, it is working, we are ok, and we did it without any help from "family" that did nothing but knock us down time and time again. So as a result, after a while we just cut them out of our lives, they destroy anything in their path. I don't need or want that, and neither do my kids.

Follow your heart, do your research! Stay true to yourself, and do what you can look yourself in the mirror and be proud of. If I would have listened to all the c**p we were told, and had walked away from the chance to have this life, I could not have lived the rest of my life knowing I went against what I knew 100% was right. It isn't very common that your in a situation where you have a choice and are able to say "I know without any doubt that this is exactly what my life was meant to be". So if and when you ever get that feeling, and know its right....don't ignore it! Always think to the future and live for today. If you died tomorrow how would you have wanted today to be. Thats the way to live, life's to short to make decisions for everyone else.

Answer 8

Once I have made my mind up on something I am usually going to do it. If someone gives me a compelling arguement against it, I will research their point of view and see how I feel afterwards. I will weigh things out in my mind. That doesn't mean I will do as they say, but I will give it some consideration.

You have to keep in mind that people don't always say things that are in your best interest, but instead it is best for them. For example, your parents may not want you to move out because they want to spend time with you, and if you were on your own they would miss you. That doesn't mean you should stay at home if you don't want to, but it might mean you should make an extra effort to visit them more once you move out.

Answer 9

I try not to and mostly i succeed.   I use a child harness on my child and more than one person has expressed disapproval. I feel i a making the best decision for my daughter and i will not let them change my mind

Answer 10

You are deffinitely old enough to make your own mistakes/decisions. As a rule people especially parents want to give you advice to keep you form making mistakes that they may have made. But you can't sacrafice your chance to do what makes you happy because they have made mistakes in their life. Now it is time for you to make your own decisions/mistakes.Tell them if they love you to let you go and give you the space you need that they are smothering you.Ask them will they love you still if you do make a mistake and I am sure they will say yes. Then you tell them if you make a mistake of your own you will still love them. But you need that chance. They should trust in the way they raised you. I hope this helps.

Answer 11

it totally depends on the situation....but as far as loving someone others don't approve of and moving out .....I'd say you really better listen to your parents on this one....im 25 now and I moved out at 18, got married when I was 19 and I really wish someone would have pulled me aside and said, look.....this isn't going to be in your best interest......I had no one to tell me anything....I realize now that MY decision totally changed the course of my entire life.......listen to who ever offers advice....trust me.

Answer 12

My parents hated my now husband when we first got together.  They thought he was not rich enough (I come from a family that has money).  They thought I was stupid for moving in with him and starting a family because I'll never live the life style that I should.  We live great, we dont have a huge house or anything but I dont care.  I have always been one of those people who do things to make me happy.  I dont care what others say.

Answer 13

sometimes. it just depends on how much you respect that person's opinion

Answer 14

you can only be a victim if you chose to  don't be a doormat  respect yourself  opinions are nice  everybody has one  you can listen and do with it what you want to  i listen to advice  sometimes i act on it and sometimes not  it is my decision in the end  not that i dont respect them but i got to live my life as i see fit not on what others think  loving someone they disagree on  if you dont go with what you feel you might end up making a bad decision while they go on their happy way while you live with "their opinion"  if you make a bad choice so what  you will live thru this and be wiser for it(i would hope)  thats part of life  taking chances  a kick in the butt is a step forward  it might be just the person you need  you will never know if you dont chance it  use good judgement though