Do people get what they deserve in life?

Question

To preface, basically I've been feeling kinda down for the last 4 months because I've had to work really hard and have had very little free time, if at all. I have been waiting for the hardest parts to be done with and assumed that things would look up after the 4 months. It's been a bit of time since then and things haven't started looking up. This has been very frustrating & hard for me to deal with b/c I feel like I'm starting to lose up or figure out how to just continue going thru the motions of life.

I finally figured out today that I think what's frustrating me the most is that I have a habit of assuming that things work out in a somewhat karmic manner. That if I work hard, I'll get good feedback. If I am nice to people, they'll be nice to me. Basically a do unto others as I would have them undo to me kind of mentality. And a basic mentality that people get what they deserve.

I know it logically that life isn't fair so people don't always get what they deserve. But I have a hard time putting this into action in my own life. My logic is so centered around justice that I end up getting frustrated w/ life when it seems people are getting things they don't necessarily deserve & I'm not getting what I want when I feel like I deserve it. I try to have a positive attitute 9/10 times about it, but lately I have been feeling kinda down because things don't seem to be getting better for me even though I've worked so hard for 4 months & really truly believed that they would.

What do I do and how do I stop this mentality of you get what you deserve?

Answer 1

Sometimes life just doesn't work out how we want. And in even more extreme cases it is hard to watch other people acheive things when we might feel they don't deserve it. I just live my life day to day and try not to stress things that much. I realize some people might get ahead or have crazy things happen to them that annoy me but in the end we all end up the same place....In the ground rotting. So why stress life when it's all the same result.  

Answer 2

Hi, I believe that most people get what they deserve in life.

Don't get disheartened after just 4 months.  Maybe you were over-ambitious in your project and 4 months was just not realistic. Maybe you can't make a best friend in that time or get a promotion at work but if you keep the good work, you will get it.  Believe me.

Answer 3

I believe the law of causality, including the spiritual law of causality, so everybody will get what they deserve to get.

Answer 4

i'm really sorry to hear you so down. all of my life experience certainly makes it seem that people do get what they deserve. the biggest "problem" that i ever had turned out to be my biggest blessing. it took me around 10 years to see the light on that one. the point is that what i perceived to be a terrible injustice was actually a rare gift. it may seem that good things are happening to bad people and the opposite but the apparent truth could just be an illusion. i'm not a faith based person, i don't just believe in things, but karma seems very real, fair, and good. stick to what feels right and you should be well. try taking an introductory philosophy class if you can, it may be able to help you with the going through the motions part (and much, much more- could be the best thing you ever do for yourself). think happy thoughts because reality is all about perception. we live our entire lives within the confines of our heads. good luck on life's journey : )

Answer 5

...when they work for it...they have a good chance of obtaining what they deserve...

Answer 6

oh yeah we all get what we deserve in life it may not happen in a day or a year from now but in time we will get it good or bad it really depends on ur actions and determination like u ever heard some1 say every dog will have its day good or bad that dog will have its day so yeah we get what we deserve

Answer 7

When you have expectations you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You decided what the timeframe was going to be, what you expected and when it didn't arrive you blamed others. Just live each day by being the best you that you can be and enjoy the journey. You are whole and complete already you do not need others to give you approval. Stop trying to make the experience  into something other than what it is.

Answer 8

Life is crazy like this. I used to hate seeing my rich friends get new cars, clothes, etc. without having to work because they were just born into it. I used to think about it a lot. Then I figured out that was the problem, that I was thinking about negative things. Every day when you wake up say somethings that you are thankful for. I know it sounds weird and corny but it works if for no other reason then that it tricks your mind. So just outloud like in the shower or whatever say "I'm thankful for my brother, I'm thankful for the friends I have, etc" After a while you will start to dwell on the things that ARE good in your life instead of the things that aren't and you will attract more positive things. Watch the movie the secret, i think its up free on youtube.

Answer 9

Some people believe that we all get what we deserve whether good or bad, like you mentioned with karma. This may sometimes be the case, for instance, when a long time smoker gets lung cancer, or gluttonously obese people have heart attacks, and so on. Using some good common sense may help you to distinguish between what is deserved and what is not. I would suggest that if you are experiencing something terrible do not focus on whether or not you deserve it but how you can get past that which afflicts you. I hope you see better days, sounds like you need it.

Answer 10

You stop feeling sorry for yourself and think of people worse off than you. I don't think I deserve what I have either but I have it so I have to deal with it. For example, I have Gastroparesis, that means my stomach is paralyzed and I can't eat food, I live on strained baby fruit. I have had this for 7 years, my bowels shut down 7 years ago also. I haven't had any fresh fruits or veggies for 7 years. I haven't had a steak or any kind of meat for that matter, I lost my smell 10 months ago, can't smell a thing because of lack of nutrition. I have a disease there is no cure for called Eagle's Syndrome. It hurts from the time I wake up till I take a sleeping pill to get to sleep, the pain is so bad I can't go to sleep without sleeping pills. I have Essential Tremors, I shake so bad I can barely hold a glass of water, and forget trying to drink it, I spill it all over me. I have medication for that but it doesn't always work. The oral surgeon told me I had Osteomylitis and did surgery on me. He removed 4 of my back teeth, sliced open the gum and sliced off a slice of the jawbone and I DID NOT have Osteomylitis. I didn't deserve all this pain and problems. I volunteered for years on the ambulance as an EMT and then as a Paramedic, I never got paid a dime for all my years on the ambulance, I didn't want to work on the paid crew, I volunteered. I didn't deserve to have all these medical problems, but I have them so now I deal with them. You need to do the same. Stop being a cry baby and feeling sorry for yourself and go help those less fortunate than you. It will make you feel much better.

Answer 11

Certain causal relationships are instilled in our fragile minds from the dawn of youth; however, such things are incongruous to the vicissitude and chaos that is life.

For example, we are taught such causalities as :

"Work hard and you will succeed"

"Be honest and you will be rewarded"

"Eat healthy and you will be healthy"

"Treat good and you will be treated good"

And so on, I need not continue...

The reality:

You can work hard all your life, and get no where. Sometimes honesty can hurt you. You can eat healthy yet wither from stress. Treat good, but you might be taken advantage of. And withal, I know someone who worked a hard, honest, healthy life and was back-stabbed by his wife of over 15 years, who took everything away from him and left him in ruins. But I need not cite any example: it is evident how cruel life can be simply by looking to your left and right.

<<My life is so centered around justice that..>>

In other words, you find this notional causality of "justice" to be on the one hand inescapable, yet on the other hand, irreconcilable with life. You are correct in thinking so. Karma, justice, God, and whatever else you like to think, all have a blind spot--one that is too large to be ignored. Moreover, you cannot depend on justice to take its course.

You would better yourself not to depend on this causality of justice. Expect nothing from people. All you can control is yourself--and "you", as an individual, are (in a realistic and non derogatory intention) not much in the greater scheme of society and the world.

Da Vinci, who himself incurred a great deal of misfortune in his pursuit of an adamant, diligent life of invention and exploration, exclaimed something to the effect of this: Patience is the only defense against insanity/misery.

Epictetus stated that you must expect nothing to which you cannot control--i.e., the outside world; people; people's opinions; misfortune; and so on. As an example; he felt no remorse at the loss of his wife and child--not out of cruelty, but out of the realization that death is beyond his control, and that tears do not resurrect a loved one.

Schopenhauer claimed that you would be safe in viewing this world as a penal colony--"ergesterion" as the first philosophers called it--or penitentiary.

Do not depend on the force of god's hand or the wistful notion of justice to take reign. If you cannot accept these things, you will live an insufferable life, ridden by disappointment and woe. What good can 30 years of labor produce if cancer should afflict you in one sweeping blow? And since such things are possible, how serious can we really take life?

As I said, do your best in life, but don't live in expectations of circumstance or of people. And most of all be patient.

What I have just told you is no license to give up on life--how could you give up on the only thing you have?

Instead, free yourself of expectations, and, in general, you will not be disappointment (and furthermore, you will live a far more peaceful life than most).

In the face of all this, it is still necessary to work hard, if only because a life of inactivity would be stricken with boredom.

Answer 12

I believe if we were all to get what we truly deserve..... we would ALL bet NOTHING+  Me included+  

Answer 13

Generally yes man is creator of what his h**l or nirvana.

It is when a good upstanding soul is witnessed being harangued or unjustly treated this principle is brought into question. Nasty cunning people tend to look ratty and be avoided.

Good wholesome people are loved and respected.  When this perfect golden rule is deviated from questions are raised.

Answer 14

Follow the simple moto from mother teresea:

Give the world your best and you may get hurt. Give the world your ebst anyways.

I suppose you need to just stop and btake a breathe. Look at all the good things you have, and look at the bigger problems then you might realized yours arent the worst. The thing is in life you have no one 2 depend on but yourself. Create a sanctuary within yourself. Towards others, just be the best you can be and dont ever let them put you down. If you think somethings wrong, or your getting mistreated then I suggest you change the way you are doing things maybe..

and no people dont always get what they want. Thats the game of life. Thats the point of it =)

Answer 15

No, I don't think people get what they deserve in life, but I do think they get put into situations to learn certain things or to teach others certain things.  Think for example of a person who gets cancer and really didn't have a reason to get it. He ate well, didn't smoke or drink etc., but got cancer anyways at the age of 30.  He was a loving, giving man. Did he deserve to get sick, no.  Even if he was a rotten person, nobody deserves to get cancer.  However, maybe he got cancer to teach someone else something.  

Maybe he has a brother who is self centered and has never done anything nice for anyone ever, including his brother.  Maybe this brother is the only family member the cancer guy must be able to rely on and he's going to need his help through his situation.  Maybe the selfish brother is willing to help him and take care of him even though his lifestyle will be "cramped" for awhile.  Let's say the cancer brother gets well, but not before bonding with the selfish brother during his treatments, and the selfish brother becomes caring and nurturing to his sick brother and realizes that putting other things and people besides himself first is a good thing and didn't "cramp his style" after all.  

"Maybe's" are worth thinking about.  What maybe's might be applicable to your situation?

The Lord works in mysterious ways, and we may not understand what's going on at the moment, but sooner or later He'll let us in on it!

Answer 16

well life seems unfair sometimes, hmm actually most of the times, after all hard work and everythings it don't always seem to work around the way you want it too, but hey thats life so just have faith, try to find happiness in simple things and moments than your big dream, make life pursuit of happiness than that of success, but still work hard and you'll get wat you want out of life one day. Have faith...  

Answer 17

Maybe it's time for a change.