Do people really expect ALL children to be potty trained at a year old?

Question

I read a question earlier, I won't point out which one, about a not-quite 2 year old girl who was struggling to use the potty. So many of the answers were just completely rude to this mother, flaming her for not training the child at 7 or 8 months!

I know a lot of parents use EC (elimination communication) and that's fine, but many children are still not able to potty train until older. Am I the only one who thought these attitudes were unusual?

Answer 1

I have never, ever heard of anyone thinking that a child can be trained by 8 month old.  That's impossible anyway.  Professionals say to not even think a child will be ready until after the age of 2.  Before that, they don't have bladder control.

When a child is ready to train, it takes a short amount of time to train them and that means they were ready.

Answer 2

Some things just can't be rushed, not if you want them to come out successfully & if you want the lessons to stick.  Potty training is one of those things.  If you take your time, waiting for your child to be ready (not for mom & dad to be ready), then the whole thing goes more smoothly, with less setbacks, less stress.  

Answer 3

Both of my girls were not fully potty trained until they turned 4, right before pre-school. We were hands on and pro-potty (LOL) starting when they were about 2 but we never forced them. They will go when they are comfortable. They pee peed in the potty when they were 2 1/2 and 3 but refused to do number 2 in potty until 4. Glad those days are gone. ha ha

Answer 4

I have seen some things on here about potty training like one 'person' potty training her twins at four months old, children all take to things different my twins for example Kylie was fully trained by two and a half and Thomas still isn't he has autism as you might be aware and we are so struggling with his lack of speech and lack of understanding when it comes to using the loo,  

Answer 5

I believe one is a little to young to even worry about the potty.  Both my kids were potty trained completely around 2 1/2 - 3 years old and it only took a weekend to do it.  I wasn't one of these mothers who tried to "force" my kids to use the potty.  I waited to even begin trying until they showed an interest in it. And I believe that is why it only took a weekend - they were ready.

Answer 6

I think it's crazy to:

- wait after the first birthday

- let the child get used to pee and poo in their pants (diaper)

- think there is such a thing as "readiness" since all the generations before the diapers were fully trained when they start walking and they didn't have accidents later

- follow the trend to wait until pre-school

- make the brain develop slower and work less effective by nto requiring from it do things when it's time for them

Answer 7

My 3 1/2 year old just became trained and he still has off days. And at night he has trouble . To the person that says it is a lazy parent I dont think that is the case. You never know what is going on to make it hard to potty train. My son is disabled and I think he has done great learning this task. I am hoping that my 6 month old has an easier time potty training when the time comes but 1 year old I think is on the young side of training myself.

Answer 8

All children? Potty trained at a year old? You're having a laugh.

I don't know a single child who is potty trained at a year old. No, a mother training herself to recognise when baby is about to go and put him on the potty does not count. "Potty trained" is when the child goes to the potty/toilet, cleans himself up, and comes out again fully dressed, BY HIMSELF.

Answer 9

I didn't even start toilet training with my kids until they were 3yrs old!

And i'm very glad i waited. It only took a few days before they were using the toilet by themselves. Each to their own, but i personally think under the age of 2 is too young to force it on a child

Edit: woohoo check out all my thumbs down lol. What a bad parent i am

Answer 10

I think that the expectation that all children have the capability to potty train before they are one or even while they are one is crazy. All children are different and pushing children to do something that their little body's are not physically capable of can cause some life time issues.

My son was interested in potty training at 1 years and 4 months because he could feel the need to go pee pee, I encouraged that, and he was potty trained for 4 months, then he decided not to be. He didn't potty train again until he was 2 years and 7 months.  

These attitudes that you are talking about are rude, so is the attitude that the parent is lazy if a 3 year old still can't potty train.

Answer 11

I have never seen a child potty-trained before around 2 yrs old!

i think maybe at a year old, you could start introducing the potty.

EDIT - you can usually tell when a child is ready to start using the potty.

Answer 12

Number 1 Rule Of Parenting: NEVER LISTEN TO HOW "OTHER" PPL THINK YOU SHOULD RAISE YOUR CHILD.

There seems to be no more opinionated source of parenting than one with no or only a few years experience at it.

WHO CARES when a child is potty trained? The kid doesn't care! Sure, they should be potty trained by a reasonable age but other than the cost of diapers, WHO CARES?! And if your child-care provider has a problem with it, that's THEIR problem. Find a new child-care provider!

I bought a potty chair for my boys and around 3ish they decided they wanted to use it. They got plenty of positive feedback from me but it was all about something fun to do. Using the "grownup" potty!!

I cannot stress enough, DO NOT let other parents think you're a bad parent. If they aren't supportive, send 'em packing. Period.

Btw, there's A LOT of angry, young parents out there. We went to the park yesterday and every single parent there yelled at their kid(s) at least once.

Answer 13

I agree I didn't even start potty training my daughter when she was 1 I didn't start until she was 2 she is 3 now and completely potty trained but if she wasn't I wouldn't be upset about it I would just continue to work on it with her. I know some people who wait until their child is 3 but that's their choice I wouldn't wait that long personally. I don't even know how a child as young as 7 months old can know to control their bladder

Answer 14

god no i wasn't potty trained till i was at least 3 possibly a little later !

and i was a early developer , i was walking by 9 months , chatting away by 1 etc

each kid is different , it doesn reflect intelligence or w/e.

Answer 15

No I  would never expect that.

Answer 16

No you are not the only one. I started training my daughter when she was 1 but was not potty trained fully until around 2. NO child is the same and some take longer than others. I do feel that a child should be fully potty trained by the age of 2-2 1/2 though. I think it is lazyness on the parents part if a child is 3,4, or 5 and still in diapers.  

Answer 17

Unusual YES

My eldest wasn't toilet trained till 4yo (you know the reasons). He still isn't toilet trained of a night fully.

My nearly 3yos were trained at 2yo, and had accidents every now and again.

People push BABIES way to hard these days. No wonder they are getting pregnant before High School ends. They walk and talk and dress like mini adults.

There is a *child* on here who claims her 4 month old twins are being toilet trained at the moment. Who just happen to have been born at the same Gestation as my boys.

Funny how at 5 month one of my sons can sit for 2 seconds - that's it. Imagine putting him on a potty, you'd break his back.

Point is, a lot of people on here are stroking their own egos and telling naughty lies.

PARENTING is NOT A COMPETITION.

Wow. Parenting may not be a competition, but getting 21 thumbs up is AWESOME!! hehe

Answer 18

Sorry but 7 or 8 months old is ridiculous to start this.  All EC does is train the parent to a schedule that their child has to go it's not training the child at all. Nonsense!

My son took an interest in the potty at about 13 months old and I got him a potty chair. He sometimes asks to use it and will go on it if he needs to and is there, but he's only 17 months old now. I'm not pushing it.  I figure he'll get there and be confident on his own.  

I do think waiting until 4 though is a bit ridiculous since preschools like kids to be potty trained BEFORE they go to school.  Most children I know are usually trained starting around a year and before 3.  

Answer 19

Really, a 1 year old could still be considered a baby.  1 year olds should not be forced to potty train.  I think 2 years old is a good time to start, as long as the child is ready.  My son is 22 months (almost 23 months) and we plan on getting a potty chair just to have him see it and get used to it, etc.  And we plan on letting him train when he is ready.

I'm sure I'll get thumbs down for this, but you should NOT force your children to potty train JUST BECAUSE you're sick and tired of changing diapers. (Not saying that about you, of course, but about others)

That is why most parents try to train their kids so early....that's the only reason I can think of lol

Answer 20

I didn't even start to try to potty train my children until they were 2.

Answer 21

I've never heard of potty training so early!

What psycho parents!!!

I bet they also stop bottle feeding their child at 4 months and feed it only solids!!

7 or 8 months is ridiculous, we're not even going to start trying until our girl is a year and a half, and thats only because she's advanced in her development and should be able to communicate better with us.

Answer 22

IMO.. and it's just that, my opinion.. my kids were not ready before 1 yo to be truly potty trained.  My eldest was completely trained right before his second birthday, my middle child about 26 months, and my youngest about 19 months (she is/and always has been a clean freak, lol).

I believe there is no right or wrong as to when a child is ready to be potty trained.  

Edit: LOL, gotta love people who can't take someone else's opinion so gives thumbs down.. or was it because ::gasp:: I allowed my kids to train in THEIR time, not force before 1 yo? lol, too funny

Answer 23

It's not healthy for a child that is too young (their bodies and minds not developed enough) to control their 'pottying' consistently.  To pressure a child that is simply too young is (in my opinion) paramount to child abuse.  Pressuring someone to do something they biologically and physically cannot do is just weird. Would they, as adults, wish to be pressured to do something they were physically and mentally not adapted to?  Children will mature to the point where they are ready. Wait until the child is old enough and mature enough and the potty training comes very easily.  A child will signal interest in the potty and the encouragement toward using it consistently should be geared to the child.  I am one of 5 siblings.  We all potty trained at different ages.  

Answer 24

I guess I'm a bad parent too then.  My 2 yr old still isn't fully potty trained and I've been working with her since June!  But, I can't be with her ALL day either b/c I work also.  Now, if the babysitter isn't working with her and I don't about it then there's not really much I can do there.  

Answer 25

Honestly, I think parents are doing more and more that helps THEM feel good-competing about whose baby is potty trained fastest, whose child advances the most quickly in preschool, their child is super atheletic, whatever and I think it's wrong. Even as infants we're putting TOO MUCH pressure on our kids to become mini adults. Our son wasn't READY to potty train until after he was 3. The reason I know is he wasn't dry through the night until then. We tried to potty train sooner, but until he was dry through the night, it was pointless. His body just wasn't ready yet, and that's the way it is... some children are ready sooner, some are ready when our son was and even a bit later...

7-8 months old is just ridiculous. RARELY if ever will a parent be able to get their BABY to potty like an adult. Their bodies simply aren't ready yet. Sure, some are, but that's the exception, NOT the rule. Even if some parents have success that soon, it's very arrogant and nasty to expect other parents to be able to PT this soon, and be rude to the parent if they aren't able to get their child to comply...

I dunno, I say like so many other elements of parenting, live and let live. Potty training is an individual experience and nobody should judge another parent for how they choose to handle it with their child.

Add: When our son was finally potty trained, because we allowed him to wait until he was biologically ready, he was trained within a few days, literally, and that includes being consistently dry through the night, waking us up in the morning to use the bathroom, etc. That's the point. By not pushing our child, we had almost INSTANT success-we allowed him to develope at HIS individual speed...

And to whoever suggested prior generations were potty trained prior to walking, WHERE are you getting that info?

Answer 26

all children are different. i believe realistically waiting til they about two before trying to potty train. we introduced our daughter to the potty about 21 months. she took to it well and was completely out of diapers at 2yrs. 3 months. my son is currently 24 months and was introduced to the potty months ago.it has only been this past week he has been asking us to take him to the bathroom. both my children could speak really well at an early age. that plays an important factor in training them. now my oldest was one month after his 3rd birthday before he was trained but he trained the quickest. it only took a month. so when people say they got their child trained by 1yr i think they are fibbing. you would have to be dedicated to EC( elimination control) to get their child potty trained early. as much as it stinks to deal with diaper, all children will potty train in their own time.whether its early or late.

Answer 27

I look at it this way - you can potty train the easy way or the hard way. I have a friend whose son is five weeks older than my son. She started training at just over 1 year old. I did not even attempt to potty train my son until he was 3. That was a little longer than I intended, but I had my daughter a month before his 3rd birthday & decided to wait because I had heard older siblings can regress with their potty training after another baby is born. My son's potty training lasted one day. Seriously. And he never had an accident. My friend's son was completely trained a couple of months before my son. (That's 2 years of  potty training!)  He had countless "accidents" and had to be "re-trained" several times. I say, wait until your kids are ready & save yourself the hassle of cleaning up pee-pee & worse all the time.

Answer 28

Thats crazy..my boy is three next month and has only got the hang of it in the last month or so ,but not completely! Its as crazy as all the other "should bes" p.s i feel sorry for those other kids too!!

Answer 29

What sort of mommy dearest n**i expects a child to be using the loo exclusively by one year of age?  And for the idiot who said that parental laziness is the reason for a three year old to be still in diapers, I suppose it is the laziness of their children to blame for the incontinent oldster who wears Depends?  Or maybe the only people who end up incontinent are those who were too "lazy" to force their children into using the toilet when they were two?  

Answer 30

I responded to that post and I agree with you.  I won't say it's insane to expect your child to be potty trained by 1, but it is HIGHLY unrealistic.

I spent time cuddling, playing and reading to my babies.  Bringing them to the park and for walks, and to Grandma's house.  Not holding them over a potty at 4 months old. *shaking head*