Do people stare at you when you're out in public ?

Question

Whenever I walk out in public people give me stares. I'm talking like almost everyone. They look me in my eyes like they hate me, some smirk as if they're about to laugh, and people just generally act really strange around me. This woman the other day stared at me for about 5-6 minutes. She knew that I could see her staring, but she continued. I wanted to ask her outright what she was staring at, but I didn't want to bother her. Was i wrong doing this? Should I have asked her?

I have recently overcome social phobia, and being stared at brings my confidence down. Sometimes I just cry, and even when I cry i get less stares than when i'm just walking normally! that must say something about me hey!

help?

Answer 1

You are noticing other people who are merely looking around them to see who's in their proximity and whether they recognize anyone. Hence, the staring that you're referring to is more likely naturally-occurring observation behavior demonstrated by people who are interested in their environment, just like you are.   It is too bad that you interpret it differently and take personal affront to normal social and public behavior.  

If you know they are staring, then you may be staring at them without realizing it, and they are watching you for the same reasons you are watching them.  If you are showing suspicion, fear, and anxiety when looking at those whom you believe to be staring at you, then they are most likely picking up those emotions from your facial expressions, eye movement, and posture -- the involuntary action of gestures.  You are putting others on guard, most likely, and they, in turn, react as such.  

Relax.  Deep breaths.  Imagine there are no people around you, you are on a beach with miles of sand.

Imagine that everyone is your friend whom you've know for years.  It is easy to smile once you have that frame of reference.  Actually, that's one of the methods I used to break out of an extreme shyness....smile at everyone, no matter what.  And it works!!  You are showing yourself as friendly, which goes a long way towards influencing others to relax and de-stress about you, as well.  

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but the world is not concerned about you, and society does not revolve around you.  You are a member, a citizen, a participant in life, just as everyone else is.  You most likely do not stand out for any reason at all, other than those you conceive in your imagination.  The world will go on and life wlll go on if you or I are present in it or not.  That is not to say you are insignificant.  Definitely not.  But there is a medium in between those extremes where most people exist....relaxed, content, at ease, and members of a large society/population.  Take your place somewhere along the line of social influence and influence others....do not let them negatively influence you, especially when you are prone to misinterpretation of their messages conveyed through their nonverbal language.

You are feeling very vulnerable, I think, since you report you've recently underwent some type of intervention to resolve social phobia.   It doesn't go away all at once.  It is an entity that has accrued over a period of time and most likely will require at least double (2x) the amount of time in changing the behavior and the thoughts related to SP.

I appreciate your honesty in presenting your question...the act of posting it here does show a sense of social trust.  You are progressing, although it may not seem like it to you.  One step at a time.  The next step?  Think of others in public as your friends and smile.  Think of others as also suffering from SP and you are providing an example of appropriate public behavior by NOT staring.  There are other ways to view the environment around you, and it is possible for you to creatively approach the way you receive and open up to people.  Yes, we are vulnerable.  Yes, we are hurtful.  Yes, we are emotional.  Those inherent traits are what make everyone uniquely individual.  Observe others through eyes of kindness and realize their indiosyncrasies and behaviors.  Concentrate on seeing the world through others' perspectives.  Leap out of your own, and you will conquer what is holding you back.  Fear.  Fear of rejection.  Get rid of it by showing yourself  that it has no power over you unless you grant it. Blessings.

Answer 2

No, they don't.

Maybe you're staring too?

Or maybe you dress very unique?

People are just dumb sometimes. If it really bothers you, March up to them and tell them you know you're awesome, but it wouldn't kill them to notice the other people's awesomeness in the room. That will stop your problem because then they will feel like too much of an *** to keep staring. haha =)

show those ignoramous people that you don't give a c**p about what they think. walk with confidence and look them square in the eye. YOURE #1!

Answer 3

It's because they sense your vulnerability (lack of social skills in order to know who you are and defend yourself, etc.) and so they take advantage of you.

They also like to laugh at you because it's what bullies do... it's how they get a boost of confidence for themselves by being cruel and totally indifferent to the way they treat people (ESPECIALLY the ones who won't or can't fight back - and that is what they see in you - someone they can push over cause they figure they can get away with it)...

Now... do you think they'd be staring at a big person who could kick their a**? No...

They do it with you cause "you're nice" and nice people or those who lack social skills can easily get pushed upon (why do you think so many little kids get physically abused....? Because they're small and vulnerable... Why do you think the bullies pick on the outcasts who are quiet, etc.... because the bully can get away with it).

You're not alone... everyone deals with a******s... The reason you have to go through it constantly is because "the majority of people in this world do very little to evolve past the worst human nature has to offer" (meaning they're shallow, rude, jerks, etc.).

It has happened to me a lot and I know the reasons for it... and it has everything to do with them... NOT me.... and certainly NOT you.

EDIT:

I've experienced the people making fun of you when they see you walking down the street and the rude staring... So the people who say that "it's all in your head" and "people don't care about you" don't know what they're talking about...

I think those who are so rude by saying "don't think too highly of yourself to think others give a c**p" are showing the very rudeness that you've encountered by people on the street...

If other people are like that on a website than why are they not "supposed to be" on the street?

Answer 4

No.

People stare at you because you must be very pretty.

Answer 5

is it the way you dress maybe, make-up??  Surely there not staring at you because your ugly or you think your ugly which i would doubt that.  Maybe you have this thought in your head that you think your not very attractive, and when someone lays there eyes on you for a second you get paranoid.  If they keep doing it, just look at them and smile or something.  I feel like your insecure about yourself.  So who cares what "strangers" think of you.. you will never see them ever again anyway!!  I bet your pretty.  Now there are some seriously dumb people out there that do stare, those are the people you STARE right back at, give them a taste of what it feels.. thats what i do... makes them feel stupid!

Answer 6

it seems like you might not have fully over come social phobia. don't worry about people staring, most of the time people don't notice that they are doing it. but like that one lady that was staring at you for a while, next time if you run into that situation you should definitely say something!

your laugh can never be strange, because everyone has a weird laugh when you think about it!

i actually enjoy watching some one laugh, because they usually have a big smile plastered on their face and it makes me want to smile. so think of your laugh as being contagious, people stare because they want to be included in all the fun you are having :)