Do people want a baby and not a child?

Question

Do think people really want a baby because its a BABY and they are cute and precious. Most people probably don't think 'i really want a 10 year old etc...)

I am struggling with this right now. I think maybe deep down (and I don't think I am alone) I want to get pregnant for the experience of being pregnant, to share the experience with my husband and because it is such a miracle. Believe me I know that I cannot even comprehend the resposibility of parenthood. That's why I probably won't have kids. I just feel like I might be missing something. But then after the first one is a couple of years old the novelty wears off. That's why people have soooo many pictures of their first child and less and less with each additional child.

Please don't attack me. I am not attacking anyone.

Answer 1

For some people that may be the case.  As for me, my kids are 6 and 8 and I'm enjoying this age range better than I did the baby years.  Don't get me wrong, my kids were great babies, they slept through the night, they didn't cry very much, didn't throw to many tantrums, but now, my kids can carry own a conversation (granted it's usually about toys or tv shows) and we can actually do things together.  My oldest is really into history and we can sit and talk for hours about things she learning  or I can go outside and play a little game of soccer with them (and I don't have to let them win anymore).  

As far as the pictures, I have more baby pictures of my oldest because it was hard keeping an eye on a toddler while trying to get a decent picture of the baby.  Now I have pictures of both all over the place.  

Answer 2

Why attack ?? who will attack? people can get whatever they want, baby, child, doll, kitten cat, so many choices~!  

Answer 3

What "novelty" is this? You mean to say parents don't love their children anymore the older they get? If you want to have kids then have children, believe me, the "novelty" doesn't wear off and you will love them always. People tend to have sooo many pics of their first child because 1. Its the first born 2. More money 3. More time

Answer 4

People have so many pictures of there baby! Because a BABY has all the first, so they want to capture every first since a baby is only considered a baby for 2 years depending on who you talk to. Than that thing you said about the first child pictures and not the others. With your first child you make mistakes and you learn to do things right. So you eventually realize I don't need all these pictures which your other child and the fact you don't have time since you have more than once child. Now about your deep down urge every woman at some point has the urge to be a mother, it's natural. I don't think it's more so people want a baby and want them to stay that way forever. People say "baby" because that is the first stage of the little persons like. I really do think you should a have child since you are wondering and thinking this much into. Don't ever think you won't be able to be a mother because it looks so hard and you don't think you can do it. Every woman has the natural instinct to mother a child! You are truly missing out on having a child. You should babysit one of your friends kid(s) for a day. Than see what you think about the whole mother thing.

Answer 5

Everyone pregnant person on there attack people so that is for sure but the answer i think would be yes. The women on here think they are so high but they have no empathy. there child will grow up talking about other children and that is why all the kids to day are going crazy and killing kids at there school because of this here.I think you should ask this in singles or married group

Answer 6

You are missing the point.

Person A: has a 10 year old magically appear (no bond has been built no precious years to remember)

Person B: has a new born baby (10 years to bond and precious memories to build)

As for people having more pics of first born, you will probably find time and money becomes a major factor rather than the 'novelty' wearing off.  

Answer 7

I think most people want both.  They envision raising their children, seeing them mature and move on to start their own families.  Its not necessarily all about a baby.

Answer 8

You have some interesting beliefs. You state in your question, "But then after the first one is a couple of years old the novelty wears off. That's why people have soooo many pictures of their first child and less and less with each additional child."  You have already decided that these things are true.  Perception IS REALITY.  So these things ARE the truth for YOU.

In fact these are only YOUR beliefs. As long as you continue to believe them, please do not have children. You will only resent the child.

The novelty never wore off for me or anyone I know who has kids. Why you think this, I am not sure. That is for you to answer. Also people have so many pictures of their first child and less and less for different reasons. Maybe they were too exhausted. Maybe developing pics became expensive in the old days. Maybe they were so busy they could not coordinate things as well. Maybe they realized they had TOO MANY pics of the first child because they were too obsessive with that child.  Maybe some people take just as many pics with the 7th as with the first.

The things you stated are just your beliefs about observations you made with your own belief system.

Answer 9

your feelings will change if you change your mind and have a child. you think that way now, becuase you haven't had a chance to expirience the 2s & 3s when they say the stupidest things, or the 4s & 5s when they get upset because they have to leave your for pre-school or kindergarten. or the 7s & 8s when they are still mamas boys & girls and they ask you every questions in the book. 9-13 is a whirlwind, that i can't even express. girls start their period & boys become a bit brooding and too cool for you.

but at the end of the day, when your 13 yr old comes and wants to lay down on the couch next to you or your 8 year old wants to still sit on  your lap when no ones around, then you care for the now, and not when they were 6 months old and sweet all the time.

and about the pictures, that may be true, however for some of us, me particularly, it is the amountof time that changes when your kids get older. older the kid, the more they want to do::: soccer, swim practice,  dance, spending the night with friends, etc. they arent small and with mommy all day anymore with the camera set on ready.

Answer 10

kids grow up yes but you get to be there for all of it and when they are graduating from high school you can say to yourself that you did do a good job and raised an outstanding citizen... trust me when they get older its way more fun then when they are babies and you can kinda fell young again too and play all the stupid games with them and don't even care how stupid you look playing dress up... kids just get so busy with there own things that you don't have time to get the camera out any more ...

Answer 11

Part of the reason people want a baby is because they are cute... but they dont want just to have that cute baby.. they want to c it grow up and they want to c their child do good in school and they want to hav a family...

i admit that my older sister does have more baby pictures than me and i have more baby pictures than my younger brother but i think the reason isnt because they love the older one more, i think its because they are just so busy with the other children to put all of their attention on one child...

i love baby pictures and i love looking at myself from wen i was little <3

you will nevr regret having a child

Answer 12

yep, i think a lot of people just want babies. not to bash on teen pregnancies, because this is not all, but i lived in a home for pregnant and teen mothers and there seemed to be a lot that didn't seem to think of the part where they grow up and they are not just a baby.

Answer 13

i agree with that but it works the other way too. you end up loving yor kid whatever age even if it looks like an evil midget

Answer 14

people have less pictures of their second and third children because they have less time to take pictures. I don't think they love them any less... they just have less time. Personally I hated the baby stage, I was waiting for the day that she could talk and reason with me. I wanted to have a child, not just a baby. It is frustrating at times, don't get me wrong but there are the other times when they do something that makes you feel so proud of them. It is only a feeling that a parent can have. You do miss something if you don't have one. The joys of watching them in their first play (which is indescribable because they are yours and no matter what, they are awesome). The pride you feel when they follow your advice and it works great for them or when someone tells you that your child is a little angel. It's a big job but the perks are something you wouldn't get with any other type of job. Granted it's all emotional perks but there is nothing that compares to a parent's love for their child.

Sure there are some people that want a baby because they are cute but it is close to impossible to raise them and care for them and not love them dearly their entire lives. Even when they are acting like a snotty teenager, they are still the most precious thing in your life.

Answer 15

It's not how you imagine. having children isn't like buying a new dress that gets old after awhile. It's completely different and it'shard to exlain but you would love a child and as they grow that doesn't change. I have just as many pictures of my second child as I did of my first when he was the age of my youngest. Every child is different and no matter how old they get your love for them just grows and grows.  

Answer 16

I think the fact that you're even thinking about this shows that you'll be a great, loving, committed mother :-)

And just cos the novelty of documenting a child's growth with photographs wears off, doesn't mean they love the child any less! It's like when you go on holidays the first time somewhere you're likely to take more photos than if you went back - doesn't mean you enjoyed the second time any less!

Answer 17

I have 4 kids ages 8,6,4 and 2 and you are right... about the picture but not because the novelty wore off but because i HAVE NO TIME! but i am better now i carry my camera in my purse at all times! I HATED being pregnant! i never planned to get pregnant it was a totally lack of responsibility on my part. but i loooove my kids. Each one is different and each year is filled with new FIRSTS! it never gets old!  and just when you think you cant love the child anymore... they do something to melt your heart but hey... i haven't reached the teenage years yet!  lol just as i  am  typing this my 2 year old come running into the office.. NAKED!!! lol :)  

Answer 18

i too, wonted a baby when i was young, but i never got tared of them as they grew, i loved them even more, and still do to day, and they have already become grandparents, of thire own, but i love them no less, as far as making pic. of all of them, i diden't have money to do that as well with the last one's as the first, but it wasen't becouse i grew tired of baby's or loved them any less, i was just as proud of the 7th. one as i was the first one, but once you become a mammy, you are always a mammy, for the rest of your life, good luck,

Answer 19

I never wanted children, and then I got pregnant. My son was the best thing that ever happen to me. Watching him grow and do new things was amazing. When he started to become a toddler, I missed having him a baby so when he was 18 months we decided to have another, we had another boy, and when he was 18 months I had the same feelings, although since #1 I really wanted a girl so we tryed one more time. We had boy #3. I got my tubes tied after this just because 3 was definitely enough for us. I loved being pregnant and I do miss it. my youngest is now 16 months old, so there are no more babies in the house, but my house is full of love and laughter and I am happy with our life. I often sit and think of what they will be like as grown men. What they will be like when they are teenagers, and fathers and as husbands. Its exciting to see that we are raising the three little guys who will be out on their own one day, and will hopefully be good people because of the way we raised them. While I loved having them babies I totally love the ages they are now. My oldes is 5 and it is an awesome age. He's like a little adult, so smart and creative. As we go each age is as wonderful as the one before. I could never love one child more then the other and I love all of them more then anything in this world and out. If you have a child (when you are ready mentally, financially, and emotionally) I highly doubt you will ever regret it.

As for the pictures things, I will admit I had a million professional pictures done of my first born, I have 1 set for my second and I havent even gotten my 3rds pictures done. Not because I love my first more, but because with 3 kids I am busier then ever and don't have a lot of time to be running around to portrait studios, we do however have a gazillion of photos we take our selves on the digital camera. I don't think they will mind when they get older anyways. But it is true that the first born gets a lot more then the siblings that come along. I mean he/she has you all to their selves that means more attention, more things to do, more money spent. Its just the way it goes. It doesn't mean one child is loves more.

Answer 20

yeah babies are precious and that's what people what. they always say " i want another baby. i miss babies"  and with each child i've noticed also that they're not as smart.. like.. they don't do as well at school probably because the parents don't push them as hard as  the 1st child because they're tired

Answer 21

Well, I think that people think that raising a baby is simple. You know just teaching it to walk and talk, the simple stuff. When a child begins to grow they get more inquisitive and, pardon my wording, but a little more annoying. It's just that parents are obsessed with the idea of "babies" and don't realize that their baby has to grow up sometime. I think that you should get used to the feeling of children all ages. Maybe babysit or something. Just to get the feeling...wait a little bit.

Answer 22

Lots of joy as they grow older and display good traits of their upbringing- Good mannerism, Good grades, trophies, medals etc.

Answer 23

This must be a very hard decision for you. I went through the same thing a few years ago. I really wanted be pregnant and have a baby, but I worried that I would not be ready for the responsibilities and not be able to give the baby all the love it needed. However I went ahead and had a baby promising myself that I'd make sure the baby was well taken care of. Well when I had the baby everything changed. Instead of staying up late on Saturdays watching scary movies with my husband, we were trying to get a minute of sleep between the baby's crys. The first month or so was really hard, but we got through it. Surprisingly my husband did really well. I found that he loved the baby as much as I did and I was so glad that I had made the right desision. Three years later I still love my child so much and I am expecting another. You see, when I was pregnant with my first child, I was thinking, "would if I stop loving the child after they start to grow up?" But no such thing has happened because when you live with a child so long you don't get tired of them, but instead love them more and more. Don't get me wrong, a baby will change everything, but not in a bad way. And ten years from now you'll be sitting with your kid and be very glad you made the decision to have a baby. Good luck.

Answer 24

We have a nine year old son and another child on the way.  We want children for a variety of reasons, some selfish, I admit.  For example, we want grandchildren for our parents; we want to share what we love about life with someone other than ourselves and our friends; and we like the idea about helping our children grow into responsible people.

Personally, the baby stuff is kind of a turn off.  I love my 9 year old's age right now.  He can do anything I can do and is interested in everything.  It's a great time

Answer 25

I disagree. I believe that people have a baby for the sake of raising a family of their own. The way you say it makes it sounds as if a parent's love for the child lessens as the child gets older. I don't think this is true in any way, shape, or form. I suppose my parents worked the opposite way. They took more and more pictures of each child, instead of less.

If you don't want to actually raise the baby to become a mature adult, don't consider the possibility of becoming pregnant. That would be unfair to the child.