Question:

Do people who want to adopt not realize how important it is to legally terminate the first father's rights?

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It's ridiculous how many PAP's come on this site who don't think they need to terminate the first father's rights. Or, the first mom's who want to lie about who the father is, or act like they don't know who he is.

My son's first mom gave us a false name. We terminated his rights. About 2 weeks before the adoption, people started threatening to tell the father. She eventually realized that she needed to give us the real name. She did, but then it took another 3 months for us to be able to adopt him. We had to hire a PI to track him down, and serve him papers. During this 3 months, his maternal grandmother tried to make a case to get our son as well. Then, the judge was upset because of already terminating the rights of someone wh didn't exist, so he was real strict on our adoption. He gave the first father an extra 30 days to contest the adoption AFTER he terminated his rights. It made no sense. It turned out ok but I sure wish we would have done things right in the first place.

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  1. I think this is a no-brainer. Not only do the rights need to be terminated to cover the adoptive parent's butts, but in my mind it's simply unfair to take the chance that the father may not be aware of the adoption that is taking place.

    What if the mother in question never informed the man he was the father of a child she was giving up, and he found out after the child was adopted out? If he never knew in the first place, and wanted the child after he was made aware then in my mind he has every right to keep said child as long as he can provide for it.

    Sadly, I think the adoption process is so glamorized that so many adoptive parents don't cover every corner in their adoption process. They are just so happy to have this child that they wished for that sometimes they fail to tie up every loose end. This carelessness can end with an empty wallet and an empty crib.

    For all the emotion, time and money that people put into the adoptive process, it is HIGHLY important that you take every measure and avenue to protect your rights after the adoption is final. This includes terminating the rights of the correct father.


  2. <<Texas just passed a law that says you don't have to tell the first father.>>

    Any laws like this will eventually be found unconstitutional.  It is absolutely outrageous and a GOOD reason never to go to Texas. Their adoption laws treat babies like cattle - they go to the highest bidder.

    My Uncle got his baby's adoption overturned (GF never told him she was pregnant) and got custody only days before his death.  Yes, and this was even in Texas!  Baby will be raised by his half-brother and his wife now.

  3. h**l, terminating the mother's rights is tough enough.  to involve another party just makes the process more problematic and drawn out, IMO.

    also, there is a perception that if the father was "father material" he would have been man enough to take care of his responsibilities.  obviously, since the woman is placing for adoption, he's not much of a man to begin with. so why should he deserve any rights? he's nothing, in the eyes of some, but a sperm donor.  more social dogma.

  4. They don't want anything to get in their way, so they don't think.

    They want a B-A-B-Y.

    Ugh.

  5. Women lie for many reasons. Not saying it's a good excuse it's not. But bare in mind agencies lie also. Things go faster and easier if there is no name for the father. Many women named fathers only to have that info disappear at the hands of an agency. PAP's are just as much in the dark as anyone else. they dont know who to believe. they are being told what they think is the truth, (most of them) and yes they want a baby. They get their hopes up that this might be their chance. the reality is that fathers have rights and it is a shame that some people just look at all men as sperm donors. If that were true, it would insinuate that all women are looking for a donation, but that just isn't the truth. It is hard for PAP's to know if everything has been done properly since agencies are not completely honest.

    Didn't you say the mother gave a false name and you terminated the false names rights. Then you said it made no sense because you had already terminated the fathers rights. You did not in fact terminate the fathers rights if he was not named to begin with, you terminated a ficticious persons rights.  It does however show how frustrating and complicated it can get when people lie and try to by pass fathers.

  6. Texas thinks they can do whatever they want. All they are doing is playing games making people go federal. They are doing some of those laws trying to fight against federal rulings (case law).

    The state of Delaware said I would never get my case into federal court. They hopefully learned to never say never when they got served. I'm now fighting for 'Right's of the Unknow Father' due to what they did to me and maybe many others.

    In my situation, my ex-GF had another guy do a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity on my daughter.

  7. My brother adopted in Texas a few years ago, because, in Texas, if one gives a false name or the father turn up later, after a grace period, they can not claim fatherhood

    Under this law, they assume, if the man had s*x, he should realized that he could get some one pregnant

    I have a cousin that adopted from overseas, because the state they live in, has no protection if the women lies are wrong about whom the father is

    No, I do not think all adoption parents know about how important the father is.  Some people do, that why they adopted in states like Texas or go over seas

    In my brother case, he met both parents

    If the father turn out not to be the father, and a few years later, the women could not come back

    I do not understand, when this happens, the women is not charge with fraud?

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