Do students have the right to physically defend themselves against bullies at school?

Question

My son was drinking a sprite at school when a bully demanded that he hand it over. After repeatedly telling him no, my son said ok and downed the sprite and then handed the bully the empty can. The bully hit my son with the can and then dug his fingernails into my son's neck. My son ignored both of these taunts. However when the bully got my son in a choke hold and he couldn't breathe, he punched him in the face one timeto stop it. The bully hit him back and then it stopped.Only when my son felt threatened, did he physically react. This all happened in his english class and the teacher claims that she didn't see a thing. The bully has been kicked out since he has a history of problems. My son is in alternative education because he was involved in a fight. He is an A and B student and has no history of being any kind of problem. I don't think this is right. The handbook says the school will not tolerate unjustifiable fighting. Wouldn't you think defending yourself is justified?

Answer 1

I think your son was in the right,  but downing the sprite then handing the bully an empty bottle probably provoked him (even if the bully was in the wrong)  there are two sides of the story,  and it seems something else could have been done to deescalate the situation

Answer 2

take your son to  a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu school, instead of fighting he could make his opponent quit even if he is a little guy and he will earn much respect from all...

Answer 3

Go to the school board with the facts. The drink belonged to your son; the bully had no right to it.

If the bully is allowed to continue, he is on his way to becoming a criminal.

If the school board developes selective blindness get a lawyer.

Answer 4

I would defend myself and have taught my kids the same thing. We've taught them..do not start a fight..no not be the bully..however...if you are being bullied you fight back ..they only pick on innocent and if they ( in most cases) find out the victim wont take it they stop. Ive told my children if they do get in a fight trying to defend themself or each other and school disciplines them and i find out the story and they arent to blame..they will not get in trouble from me. Good job on your sons part for sticking up for himself.

Answer 5

Kids at school ahve the right to feel safe, and if it means violence, so be it. If no one is doing anything and they're sick of being bullied/harrased i say go for it. How else will you get teachers attention??

Answer 6

Your son was not bullied.  Your son was assaulted.  Let's call this what it really was, and stop soft-pedaling the situation so that the school can save face.

Now, since your son was assaulted, what do you do?

First off, you make a police report.

Secondly, since the school could not keep him safe, you know that there is no guarantee this will not happen again.  Students are assaulted every day in American schools - are told it's "part of growing up."  Well, if we would not accept assault at "part of adulthood," we cannot ask the same of our children.  Therefore, you have several second choices.  You can bring suit against the school.  You can change schools.  Or you can look into homeschooling.

Whatever you decide, protect your son.

Answer 7

everyone has the right to self-defense from physical harm, as long as the force they use in defending themselves isn't more than necessary.  if things actually happened as you described, i would protest it.  (note though that if the teacher didn't see and there weren't any third party witnesses, it may just be one kid's word against your kid's ... and even if your son is telling the truth, that may not be obvious to the administrators).

if your son was drinking a soda in class, someone demanded it, your son repeatedly talked to him to say no, there was hitting going on and choke holds and punches, and this was all in the middle of English class and the teacher didn't even notice, my main concern would be switching schools, as obviously there is no teaching or proper supervision going on.  it might be one thing if it happened in the hallway.  but during class and no adult knew? either you're not getting the real story or forget about the punishment and switch schools.

Answer 8

That's the problem nowadays with matters of self defense.  I believe PEOPLE have a right to defend themselves against attacks.  I told my children to fight back if someone comes at them.  Your son was right to do what he did.  Bullying is out of control because the victims get punished right along with the bully.   This needs to change or there will be more school shootings!

Answer 9

It was very justified and the teacher should loose her job for not doing her job. You should think about talking to a lawyer.

Answer 10

I believe that what your son did is right.  If someone physically hurts him, he should defend himself.  It seems there is a lot of inattention on the teachers and administration's part in schools today.  Even if he told the teacher or principal what happend, nothing would have happend.  Your son should not have to tolerate being physically harmed at school and in a class no less.

I would definitely voice my concerns about this to the principal.  If you still don't feel like you are being heard, take your complaint to the school board.  Keep records of the dates and times you spoke with certain individuals.  If the situation gets really bad, I would send certified letters to the school.  If anything happens, you will have proof that you said something.

If I were you, I would let my child know that what he did was not wrong.  He did not become physical till he was attacked.  

I wish your son well and hope you can come to a resolution with the school on this one.

Answer 11

From what I've seen and heard these days, kids do not have a right to defend themselves. It seems that a child who is just defending him/herself from a bully who has been physically assaulting them will also get in trouble. The problem with this is that the bullies are usually pretty good at being sneaky and not getting caught until someone hits them back. The kid hitting back is usually the one that gets caught because they are not sneaky since they are not trying to do something wrong. I understand what they are trying to accomplish at the schools, but I don't think it's working.