Do these stanzas make sense?

Question

"As it lies guarded by metal gates

my smile is an expert deceiver

the system of trust has failed me

So suprisingly im not a believer

ive transitioned with such speed

from an angel to a succubus

i have been infected mercilessly

It is impossible to cure to my virus"

the poem that im writing is about denial,promiscuity and falling from grace.those are the last two stanzas but i feel like they lack something.can you help?

Answer 1

When asking for comments, u must give ur full text. But anyhow, as for the comment ,try to write poems with acceptance,clarity and confidence.

Answer 2

well i definately felt something while reading it!

so that means its great.

thats all it has to be

Answer 3

they make sense to me

but does it really need to make sense to everyone? poetry is better when you need to use your imagination to sense what the poem means, then it is more powerful