Do things change within a serious relationship/marriage when the couple has kids?

Question

It feels like ever since my daughter was born (8mnths), things between me and my husband just aren't when they use to be. Like if our relationship was missing excitement. Maybe it's all in my head and I just work way too much, and I'm just to tired to do anything. Could it be that maybe I'm young and looking for more excitement then maybe he would since hes already been there done that? I'm 22 and hes 29...

Answer 1

Things do change, cause you have a little one. But have a family member or a friend watch the little one for part of a night, go out for dinner, and then go do some dancing. if they watch the kid all night..go to a hotel after dancing. you would be surprised what a night out with your spouse does for you..I know been there, done that..

Answer 2

Oh heck ya do they change !

But you can create fun and excitement by planning date nights and alone time any chance you get. My hubby and I didn't have a sitter often, so we would have game night and put the kids down or have them watch a movie and we would have a few drinks and listen to music and play scrabble, anything to just enjoy eachother's company.

Answer 3

Things change, especially if it's your first child. I have a friend going through the exact same thing.

Answer 4

yes its not just u its ur kids then u

Answer 5

Kids do change a marriage, suddenly your too tired to do anything and the kids take a lot of energy.  What you need to do is make a point of getting a sitter, dressing to the nines and going out just the two of you.  Maybe even spend the night in a hotel and have spontaneous fun the way you did before you have kids.  You need to have that connection to your husband, intimacy is very important, and I don't just mean s*x .  It does take a lot of effort, but if you really love each other then take the extra time and work and make it happen, you'll be really happy you did.  It's worth it!!!

Answer 6

Kids are the most serious thing one can do, married or not!!

  It's a very old, common fact, that having kids, means your life now comes in second and you pretty well give it up for the next 18 yrs.

  But that doesn't mean you can't get a sitter on occasions or for an overnighter with grandparents, so you and the husband can go out or spend a quiet evening at home alone.

   You just have to fit it in when possible, or try to put it together yourself, the time should be made for the relationship, so you and your partner don't end up growing apart, that usually takes a few yrs of ignoring the needs of a  relationship, but ppl do make that mistake.

    It will never be the way it use to though, being a parent takes a lot of time and attention.

    But working too much and being tired is a symptom every single married couple with a baby go through, no one get out of that, but it will ease up as the child grows.

Answer 7

Of course having a baby changes the relationship, but its down to you as to how it changes!  Make time for each other, go out once a week just the two of you.  Most couples just focus on the baby, not deliberately just happens that way. You both need to feel wanted by each other. Leave the baby with someone you trust and go out and enjoy each other like you use to when you first got together.