Do think people in the adotion section gives thumbs down?

Question

Because they feel bad for giving the person they gave birth to away. I think so, I always go on here and see thumbs down on alot of question like. Should foster parents be called mom and dad. Keep the kid then....

Answer 1

This "Thumbs-Down" topic seems to come up over and over... It is clear to me that it has nothing to do with any one issue. There are way to many reasons in human nature that someone will anonymously click a Thumb down....

There are as many reasons that someone will click a thumb down as there are people. It can be a number of things and frankly I find it funny. I makes me nostalgic and wanting to pull out my high school year books and Remember Back Then....

I get the same number of thumbs down on most of the answers I write...  I would feel bad if that suddenly changed... That would mean that my "anti-fan" club had lost interest in my answers... That would make me know I wasn't getting the attention anymore....  :(

Answer 2

Foster parents should be called mom and dad when or even if the child ever feels like saying it.  And some of the times the child is taken from situations more horrible then anyone could ever imagine and then adopted into a loving home were they might actually like and want to be adopted in.  I have no ideal why the thumbs down are there.

Answer 3

I was one of the people who gave you a thumbs down.  As a prospective adoptive parent, adopting through foster care, I completely accept the fact (hang on a second...go back...look at that last word...get used to it...I'll type it again, in all caps so that you know exactly which word I'm talking about...the word is FACT) that I am NOT my childrens' only mother, and that it is my job to EARN my childrens' respect.  It is NOT my childrens' job to give me respect.  Forcing a child to call me by a name that might not be comfortable for them, simply because it's comfortable to ME is flat out wrong, and I won't have any part of it.

Children, especially those who have been shuffled from home to home with no say in the matter, need to be empowered to make their own decisions, to claim their rightful place in this world as people with voices and rights, and choices.  I will not be one more person in a long string of adults pushing children to do things I've decided they should do because it makes me happy.

The only people who are TRULY parents are those the child CLAIMS are their parents.  I've learned the pure and utter fulfillment of this truth in my own life, and I hope to share this empowering message with my children.  

Even if it means that they take their empowered selves and walk right out of my life.

ETA:  I'm not sure if you understand the purpose of foster care.  Most children in foster homes were not given up by their family.  They were TAKEN away from their family.  Generally speaking, foster childrens' parents tried to parent them, but weren't able to, due to abuse, or neglect.  So, your thinking that people shouldn't give up their children if they don't want them to end up in foster care makes no sense.  Those who purposely give their children up usually give them up for adoption, not foster care.

Answer 4

I hadn't looked at that question until now.  I think it's telling that the ONLY thumbs down given there was to you.  Maybe someone (it was only one thumb down when I looked) thought you were too flippant or insensitive about the issue?  I can't say, but I don't know why you are blaming a first parent for your thumbs down.  Maybe you want to look over the other answers, because no one else had one when I checked.  Perhaps you came across a little too obnoxious for someone's taste.

Anyway, I don't see any reason to think it's a first parent that gave you your thumbs down.

Answer 5

of all the stupid questions I've seen on here.... talk about ignorant..... judgmental.....one sided. If your everyday life is anything like the question here and your last one....you have a LOT of growing to do. Good luck, you need it.

Answer 6

Most people on here do not have an extreme hatred of their b-mom as you do. That is your choice to hate her and think of her as only an incubator. However most people have a great relationship w/ their b-mom after meeting her and come to understand the hard choice she had to make. I personally will not demean my b-mom to the title of incubator. I gave up my hatred of her long ago because of her life choices that lead to my adoption. Just let it go, others on her have no room in their life to hate one mother, instead they choose to love both moms. Which i have to say shows that they have a big heart.

Answer 7

I have been getting alot of thumbs down latley for perfectly normal, non bitching answers! I think its just the way peoples minds work in this forum. If you dont agree with them then you get thumbs down. Duh its an opinion site. Free country and all etc etc.

Anyhow, I wouldnt let it bother you, I am too old for school yard games.

Sorry for the spelling, trying to do this with a child on my knee. lol

Answer 8

no...I think adoption in general is a touchy subject from all angles...many people are hurt when a child is taken from a home ...not just the birth mother.

Answer 9

I think it was because of the emphasis you put on THEM BEING HIS MOM AND DAD and the not caring what anyone says. You have made it abundantly clear that you do not care what anyone else says or feels. I'll be honest with you , I had a hard time beleiving that I deserved a relationship with my daughter because of "what I did". It took a long time to get past that. You're simply not being fair to one whole side of the triad.

Many different stories, different circumstances, different outcomes. If you want to carry around all that hate that's up to you. My daughter and I want to salvage what we can with what time we have left. It has nothing to do with her love for her parents. Their still her parents, but so am I.

There is a lot of inner peace that goes along with us being together again. I hope you can find that someday.

And for the record, it wasn't me either. I had to go find the question since your Q's and A's are marked private. You have to be really offensive for me to use thumbs down. I simply ignore the question (most of the time) as opposed to using thumbs. I wasn't as offended as some others might have been. I have been called worse, it's just old, narrow minded, and tiresome.

Answer 10

In looking at your other question where you referred to a woman who carries a child for 9 months, gives birth to them and decides to place them for adoption a d**n incubator i think as long as you're on here you're gonna get thumbs down.  

as an adoptive mother i took great offense to that question.  my child's other mother is a part of her.  and to refer to someone who will forever be a part of my child as an incubator is wrong on so many levels.  it's people like you that make it difficult for an intelligent adoptive parent's voice to be  heard at all on this forum.

no i didn't give you a thumbs down.  i usually keep my thumbs to myself.  but since you're so convinced it's a first mother that did this to you i want you to know thumb number 3 in the down position belongs to an adoptive mother.  one who does not care for any part of her child to be referred to in a negative mannor.  you do not know my child's other mother, myself or her.  

i didn't even bother with answering your question about incubators.  i always figure someone who is so blatantly ignorant, and would phrase a question so negatively is in no way wanting to hear the truth or others opinions.  and your comments after you chose best answer prove my point.  you state you had no intentions of hearing another viewpoint.  why bother to ask the question then?  did you need a pat on the back for your own personal opinions that day?

I would suggest buying yourself some chocolate as a reward and keeping your biased uninformed opinions to yourself next time.  Especially if you're going to post a question such as that and then whine like a little baby because someone didn't agree with you.  And then to single out mother's who placed their children as being the culprit, is  just ignorant.

i sure hope you're not an adoptive parent.  with views like yours i can't imagine why your child would call you mom.  as a mother you love your child unconditionally.  every last part of them, right down to their genetics.  

and to answer why someone might not like your answer about foster parents being called mother.  just loving and caring for a child does not earn the title of mother.  it must be earned through mutual respect.  it seems you don't have that.

Answer 11

no. i usually give thumbs down to questions/posts that lack an understanding of the myriad dynamics of adoption...and disrespect f-moms by calling them incubators.