Do u ever feel like people let you know they care & love you, but its u who can seem 2 stop 2 hate yourself?

Question

This happens to me often, whenever someone compliments a good feature, skill or trade of me I almost automatically think they are lying and mocking me ...

I always feel i am not good enough to be loved or liked...

and that maybe everyone would be better off without me , yet sometimes i let people who are close to me know about this and i see it causes them pain that i feel this way and i feel terribly guilty after wards and hate myself even more cause i feel my existence seems to bring misery to those around me.

My boyfriend is the closest emotional link i have and he loves me very much, unconditionally!! but i am too damage, i think, so i always feel he'd be better off without me, cause he has a very different origin, then me , he was born privilege and my life has been full of misery I feel very guilty to have brought drama into his life and very unworthy of his love.

do you ever feel like this? guilty for everything? even for being loved for not being good enough... for yourself?

Answer 1

I know EXACTLY how you feel. It seems we are alot alike. I, too, am an atheist, but people have tried to convince me to turn to God for self-esteem, but I just dont believe. Everyday I tell myself that my fiance should not be with me, and I am not worthy of him. I have ALOT of emotional scars from my past and I feel like I just HATE myself, the way I look, talk, act, everything. I have been to a psychiatrist, and have been put on many different meds, but it has not worked. I totally know exactly what you mean. I hope you are able to find some kind of peace and love for yourself. Sometimes, when I get down on myself, it helps just repeating in my mind.. I am worth it..I am worth it..etc..

Answer 2

You dont say how old you are but I can assure you, if you are breathing or talking then you are not a waste.  God does not make junk or mistakes.  Sounds like you have had some really bad things happen to you, have you ever tried counseling to repair some of the bad stuff that your brain tells yourself?  I think it would be very beneficial for you and letting go and letting God is such a true true statement!  if you are young, just realize you have the best of your young life ahead of you, go get some counseling so you can see yourself as people see you and how your boyfriend sees you.....good luck to you! Broken soul-don't hate yourself honey, I've been through so much in my life myself.  Look in the mirror and see the beauty that even your bf sees in you and smile and realize he loves you for you--so there has to be something loving inside you and don't let the past influence the future--with this young man it sounds like you have a bright future ahead of you--hugs and good luck :>)