Do u sit around andthink about your losses all day long?

Question

not meaning any direspect but do you who have loss ever like have any fun

Answer 1

You are just getting that impression because that's what people talk about HERE.  You get a pretty narrow view of people on yahoo.  Always keep that in mind.

Answer 2

With a hubby and three gorgeous children to love and enjoy - I think NOT

Ha ha.  Good try.

Life is good, thanks for asking

Answer 3

Nope...not at all.  Just like I don't sit around eating bon-bons and watching tv all day...although some days I am still hard-pressed to say what I've gotten accomplished.

Answer 4

No, I don't.  I try to learn from them and move on.  That kind of behavior just breeds more negativity.

Answer 5

No, I have better things to do with my time. I have kids to look after, a house to run and a job.

Some things are just more important to me. My adoption is important, and finding out who I am is too, but I put my family first.

Answer 6

Of course not.  But this is a place where we can talk about our losses.  And, we can try to help others become more aware of people around them, and more sensitive to the views of others around them.  (Doesn't appear to work for everyone who reads these posts. Hint, hint.)  

And, it is a place where we can be honest about all of our feelings.  We don't have to be happy all the time.  We can be sad and angry.  And, most importantly, we can feel that we are being HEARD.  So many times our anger is made worse because we don't feel that the people we are trying to reach with "our" truth are even listening, or even care.  I know some of the people who post here.  Just because they express their anger and loss on this site, doesn't mean that's all of who they are.  Of course they have happy lives, in spite of it all.  One of my friends I met here makes me laugh every day!  She's tons of fun to know.  She still has a right to express her anger and sadness and whatever other feelings she needs to express HERE.  That's what HERE is for.

Answer 7

Don't be silly.  

Why don't you ask that of someone who lost a spouse, or a child, or a best friend.  Why is it that no has this "all or nothing" thinking when it comes to other kinds of losses?

If someone has lost his/her spouse,  and this person acknowledges his/her loss, no one is going to say, "Is that all you do is sit around and think about your loss and have  no fun?"  As a matter of fact, if the person didn't acknowledge that loss, people would find it odd or even suspect.

Most reasonable people realize that human beings are more than capable of recognizing and grieving loss while STILL going about the business of living and enjoying life.  

Why on earth do you have a hard time separating that adopted people who recognize loss do the same?  

Come on, already.

Answer 8

I do.  All day.

Except when I'm at work.

Oh, or hanging out with my partner or my friends.

Oh yeah, or when I'm taking care of my house.

Or even when I'm relaxing in my living room.

Or playing games at the local hobby store.

But except for then, all I do is think about my losses.

Answer 9

when i get down in the dumps and let myself i will do that, and it take a while for me to get over my losses.  but sorry it was not over being adopted, it was over losing my dream house in the 04 hurricans in cocoabeach fl, lived in it for 3 years rent to buy 3 weeks before settlement hurricans hit and gutted it we were homeless, til we found a place off water and 4 miles inland i miss the wildlife and view and saltwater and the sound of the water and birds. i have gotten depressed to the point of not being able to drive over the river bridge without crying.  see what you are doing to me, i am sitting here crying once more over a stupid house.  we lost everything ecpt what a friend went over and put in large tuberware tubs she brought and shoved under the steps,

Answer 10

No, I don't. I've had so many losses and heartaches in my life (just as most human beings have in this world) but I can't sit and wallow in my misery all day long, day in and day out, because I have a life to live and most importantly, a child to raise. That would be the height of selfishness, cruelty and conceit for me to weigh others down with my "losses". That's no way to live life, IMO. One has to get back up and brush yourself off and begin again or move on.

It's a shame that this is the year 2008 and there are those to choose to wallow in self-pity all day long and try to bring everyone else into their pity-party,  instead of seeking out good psychiatric/therapeutic help and try to recover and improve their lives.

Answer 11

Even though I'm not an adult adoptee, I've experienced loss in my life.  Sure, some times I think about the people I miss, especially if there are times I need their advice or wish they were here to share a postive experience with me.

But like all losses in life, either you let them consume you, or you deal with the issues and move on with your life.

I'm assuming that even though you worded a general question, your target audience, so to speak, are those who discuss their pain resulting from adoption.  I can't speak for them, obviously.  But from a reader's perspective, it does sound like there are some posters who feel this pain to an all-encompassing extreme.  I can't say that it is an accurate perception or not, but if it is, I hope that these individuals seek out professional assistance.

ETA: Imsosnky- Kristy, is that you?

Answer 12

wtf

Answer 13

Oh totally, i sit at home and cry "poooor me, i'm adopted i'll never be able to do ANYTHING in life"

Nope sorry, can't go to the park, i'm adopted.

Nope sorry, can't go to the party, I'm adopted, don't you know adopted peoPle aren't real, we don't get to have fun EVER.

We just sit and twiddle our thumbs and cry over our losses....

From the moment I wake till the moment I sleep and even in my dreams I cry cry cry.

<hope you sensed my sarcasm cowboy>