Do u think it's wrong to slow my engagement down a little bit?

Question

I just think that i owe it to myself and my fiance to know that i can be fully committed to him.....i don't want to break up with him just slow our engagement down i just believe that if we are meant to be we will be.

Answer 1

I don't think that is wrong at all. Take all the time you need to make sure its right. Marriage may not be forever for everyone, but no one wants to realize they rushed into things after the fact. I don't think many people get married and expect to be divorced. Take all the time you need, and hopefully your fiance will understand.

Answer 2

If that's the case, perhaps you should postpone the engagement.  The engagment period is the time in which the couple prepares for marriage.  There should be no real doubts about the relationship during this time period.   When you expect a proposal you are clearly saying, "Yes, I'm ready to marry you and I want to marry you."   It's not a time to feel out the relationship or figure out if marriage is what you want to do.  

Answer 3

I think that is a very mature thing for you to say.  Very smart decision.  Always do what your heart tells you, you will be saving your marriage in the end :).  Best of Luck

Answer 4

I think that's smart.  My husband's brother and his fiancee are getting married way too quickly in my opinion (and in almost everyone else's eyes, too).  So I think it's better to slow things down and really think about it than to just jump in if you aren't 100% ready.

Answer 5

I think you are being very smart about it. If more people did that the divorce rate would be much lower! Take your time and when you are both ready, then go for it!

~MLF~

Answer 6

That is a very mature outlook.  IN a culture where lots of young women are wedding-obsessed and would sometimes marry anybody just to get the "bride experience," it's refreshing to see someone who obviously cares more about her well-being, and the well-being of her relationship, to be willing to postpone the "queen for a day" treatment in order to make a real commitment when (and if) the time is right.  Good for you- you sound very smart and level-headed.

FYI- my fiance and I were also previously engaged, about 5 years ago when we were both still quite young.  We were head over heels for one another after only a few days of meeting, and he proposed a few weeks after our three-month anniversary.  Needless to say, we both soon realized we weren't really ready to fully commit to marriage, since we still had a lot of growing up to do.  As much as it hurt me, I gave him back the ring and moved back in with my mom for about a year, so we could sort out some roadblocks that had come up in our relationship.  We stayed together, though, and after his lease on that apartment was up, we moved in together again, in a new apartment on the other side of town.  We lived together a good three years before he finally proposed again this past New Year's Eve.  He gave me back the same ring I picked out myself so long ago, and this time I know I'll never take it off.  We were so right to wait until we knew ourselves and each other better- I will feel 100% sure of myself taking those vows, something I don't think I could have said 5 years ago.  And my fiance is so pro-wedding these days- he actually gets excited talking about it, whereas the last time around he used to change the subject every time I mentioned it.  All around it was a great decision for us.