Do u think they would let me adopt a baby girl under 6 monthes old and be a single mother?

Question

I`m Tonya age 28 years old. I had a daughter name Heaven she did at 7 weeks old from crib death which is SIDS. What I want to know is do u think that they will let a single woman adopt a baby girl under 6 monthes old? I`m really good with kids and I would give a kid a great home. I would love this baby girl just like I had it on my own. I have everything a baby needs like a crib, stroller, baby girl clothes, toys, and ect. I have a two bedroom home, so the baby would have her own room. My mom and dad just live up the road from me about 5 mins from me, so the baby would have lots of family to love her. Only thing is that I live from paycheck to paycheck, but I can give her everything she needs i promise that. I would give up everything for my baby girl. A plus is that I have everything a baby girl needs. Do u think they would let me adopt and be a single mother?

Wanting to adopt

Tonya, SC

Answer 1

Yes they prob will unless you have a criminal record which I doubt!

Answer 2

Check with foster care. With you not having thousands to spend on an adoption, fostering to adopt sounds like your best option. It might vary by area, but I can't imagine you getting turned down just based on being single. There are so many kids in the system that need loving homes.

Answer 3

I know you are probably hurting, perhaps it isnt the right time to try, its a lot of heartache trying to adopt, and if they would the road would be long and difficult, especially if you live paycheck to paycheck...Perhaps while you heal you could get involved with a group like "Big Brothers and Big Sisters"  Its difficult for Married couples who have a lot of money to adopt you baby, and would probably be near impossible for a single woman living paycheck to paycheck to adopt, especially a baby.  I can tell you have a big heart and a lot of love to give...there are a lot of children out there would could use a role model like you...especially teen girls, you are a single woman who has a good job and owns a home, there is no doubt in my mind that you have just as much love to give as most 2 parent families, perhaps more, it would be hard though...you may want to look in to fostering children but DEF think about volunteering with a group for children like Big Brothers and Big Sisters...A child will be lucky to have you in their life

Answer 4

ya good luck with that...seriously

(not trying to be rude, but being realistic)

Answer 5

Yes, while they give preference to two-parent families, they will allow a single mother to adopt a baby if she proves she can take care of it and support it.  It is extremely hard to do, however, I know several single mothers myself that have adopted children.

It's important to know that some countries place stipulations on who can adopt babies from them.  Many include age of parent(s), marital status, race preferences, length of marriage and other factors.  So you might not be able to adopt from some countries.  Check with the state adoption agency or a private agency.

Answer 6

Hi, Tonya.  My heart goes out for you. That's an unthinkable thing to endure.  I have friends who lost their child through SIDS as well.  It's just devastating.  My first concern is for you.  Do you have a support group or good friends you can talk to?  You don't need to deal with this alone.  You are not alone.  SIDS has affected many people, and I hope you will have some really good people to help you heal the pain.

About adoption:  It's not that there's anything wrong with a single mom adopting.  It's more a problem of availability.  If you go with a ethical adoption agency, like we did (they are non-profit) then they are going to be counseling young mothers to truly make their own decision about the future of the baby.  In our case we waited 5 years, and still no baby.  In those 5 years the agency we were with only placed 2 or 3 infants.  The mothers of the other babies chose to keep their babies.  I wouldn't have had it any other way, though.  I don't want anything to do with an adoption where the mother has been intimidated into giving her baby up for adoption.  We ended up becoming foster parents.  We fostered a good many children, which is rewarding in itself.  Then we did adopt 2 children (at different times) from foster care.  I wish you the very best, Tonya.  Write me if you need to talk.

Answer 7

I don't want to come off as rude, but even though you have some baby stuff now, you still only live paycheck to paycheck. It may not be a wise thing right now. My suggestion: get yourself into a good budget including a good savings plan. Over a few years I bet you would have a good amount saved and it would probably give you a better chance at fostering/adoption. You're only 28 now so you have so much time ahead of you to do this.

Answer 8

yes you can adopt if you have the ways and means to care for it .

give it a try  the child would have a great home.

Answer 9

Hello.  I'm a single parent that adopted internationally.  I chose international because from what I've seen for a single parent to adopt is very hard, especially with your age, maybe if you wait 2 more years.  

But if you want to adopt a caucasian infant it's next to impossible for a single parent to adopt here in the US, from what I saw almost any listings were for a professional couple or something similar but outside the US you won't find a country that you can adopt from where the child is under 6 months

I lucked out and when I did my son's adoption they were allowing birthmother adoptions from the country of Georgia, and adopted him at the age of 2.5 months, but the country no longer allows it and hasn't for quite a while

Suzanne

Answer 10

the first hurdle you'd have is they may want a time to pass after the death of your own child to make sure you are well stable and over that crisis. But being single and not a lot of money shouldn't be an issue. It does cost lots of money to adopt and living paycheck to paycheck might mean you don't have that many thousands of dollars saved.  It may appear you are trying to replace your child.

Answer 11

I think, in most jurisdictions in the US and Canada, there is no problem with single parent adoptions.  You will need to meet the same criteria as everyone else but that criteria won't be any more stringent then it is for anyone else.  I know that here in Canada single parents, same s*x couples, g**s... can all adopt as long as they meet the same requirements as conventional families.

Good luck

Answer 12

Likely with limited means and a recent trauma they may say you are not ready for adoption.  That doesn't mean its true that you are not ready but depending how recent your tragedy, they may want you to wait and will explore all your reasons for adopting.  It is terribly invasive.

As for paycheck to paycheck all I can tell you that is unless you adopt from foster care, and if you do that you will likely not get a girl under six months of age, you won't be able to afford the outrageous fees, and even more so, your situation seems like that kind that adoption agency coerce women to give up their children from, so I don' t think you would be their prime candidate.

I woudl suggest the fact you want a girl under 6 months means it is tied closely to losing Heaven, and no child will be able to replace her.  If adoption is your true choice, you will want to look at foster adopt and an older child.

Best to you.

Answer 13

Hire an attorney.

Answer 14

Im not quite sure I am adopted and I was adopted the second time into a good home. I am very sorry to hear about your daughter. I am pretty sure they will not descriminate against you because you are a single mother. I do think they make see a problems with living pay check to pay check as most agencies do wanan ensure these families have money because that is what today society catres about

Answer 15

No, I don't think so. It sounds like you would be a good mom, but maybe you should wait until there will be a chance for a child to have a mom and a dad,,,its very very important that this happens first.

Answer 16

Dear Tonya:

The fact that you are a single parent and living from paycheck to paycheck can be worked with through the foster system.  They will also look at the fact that you probably had some time off to give birth to your daughter, and you'll need some time to financially recover from that, however, there will probably be a waiting period to make sure that you have overcome the grief of losing your daughter.  You'll have to attend courses to be a foster parent.  I would suggest taking a year first, and getting a little more education and job skills so that you're increasing your job chances and paychecks, so it isn't so much of a struggle.  And, just a word of warning, the home study will include a lot of questions about your daughters death, including things that might seem like they blame you, like did you smoke?  I'm not trying to be mean, it's just a fact that you need to prepare yourself for it.  They'll also want to see copies of the death certificate, so I'd make a photocopy, and have the original ready for their inspection, so they can actually use the photocopy.  Good luck with everything, and I lost a daughter too, 21 years ago, and now have a newly adopted son.