Do we really know what dictionary means?

Question

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish .............. 49

Adventuros......... Slept with every one

Athletic .......... No ****

Average looking ....... Ugly

Beautifu l........... Pathological liar

Contagious Smile...... Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure..... On medication

Feminist............. Fat

Free spirit........... Junkie

Friendship first ....... Former very "friendlay"

Fun ............. Annoying

New Age....... Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded...... Desperate

Outgoing........... Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate ...... Sloppy drunk

Professional ....... *****

Voluptuous ....... Very Fat

Large frame ........ Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate....... Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1-Yes ............. No

2-No ............ Yes

3-Maybe ........... No

4-We need ......... I want

5-I am sorry ........ you'll be sorry

6-We need to talk....... you're in trouble

7-Sure, go ahead........ you better not

8-Do what you want...... you will pay for this later

9-I am not upset ......... of course I am upset, you moron!

10-You're very attentive..

tonight .................... is s*x all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1-I am hungry ....... I am hungry

2-I am sleepy ......... I am sleepy

3-I am tired............. I am tired

4-Nice dress ............... Nice cleavage!

5-I love you ............ lets have s*x now

6-I am bored ........... Do you want to have s*x?

7-May i have this dance? .......... I'd like to have s*x with you

8-Can I call u sometimes?.......... I'd like to have s*x with YOU

9-Do you want to go to a movie?... I'd like to have s*x with you

10-Can I take you out to dinner?.... I'd like o have s*x with you

And Finally

A recent scientifc study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on

where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged,masculine featrues.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with

scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

now every one this was just a joke :)

Answer 1

Very bizarre.

Answer 2

That was so funny. Especially the male dictionary.  

Answer 3

ROFL!  That was excellent ~ especially the finale!  Can't wait to show my hubby in the a.m.

Thanks for the giggle and a * 4 u!

Answer 4

WOMEN"S ENGLISH(cont.)

I'll think about it......NO.

Because I said no.........I can't think of a reason and use this one continuously until my son wants to kill me which I know he  already does because I never provide for him enough,yet I shower his brother with c**p my other son wants and i say I'll think about it and let his brother do it and makes the other one want to kill me even more and then I try to help him,he believes me and then a week later,he's realizing that we really don't care and we're pretending then wants to kill everyone in the world who is torturing him,but doesn't then gets something that's he been longing for,which becomes a problem yet again....

I'm too tired to.....I hate my son,and disregard anything he wants to do or needs to do,in which case,leads to me getting pissed,then going for another thing,waits 2-3 months because we won't let him even though he has the money,or earned it,and we really don't care.

I don't have enough money........I have more than enough and are blowing him off to go do c**p with my husband,then trick him into thinking we're going to have another kid,torture him even more,and let him kill himself remorselessly.

Answer 5

oommg that is SO funny!