Do women really "have a choice"?

Question

Hi.

I've been wondering something for the past couple of days.

See I am a pretty young mother. My husband and I have a beautiful 14 month old baby boy. And now we're expecting twin boys in January. 3 kids to me is enough. I know I don't want anymore. I am happy with 3. YET, I cannot get my tubes tied? To the doctors I am "too young" to get them tied.

So how come a women has the choice to end a pregnancy(abortion)? Yet not to stop it from happening with sterilization?

I thought it was the womens body, the womens choice right? Well how come not when it comes to me not wanting more kids?

Sorry if this seems like a "rant" but I am just curious to know why I can't make that choice for myself?

Answer 1

How many doctors have you talked to?

IMO I'd have your husband get snipped as it is less invasive to the guys instead of getting your tubes tied.

Answer 2

I toatally agree with you. It makes no sense. I think you should have that option avaliable to you at anytime. I became a mother with my first son at 17 too.. and i've tried BC pills, the shot, and the IUD and my body agrees with none of them. Me and my husband now have 3 kids and im only 21 lol. I love them all but i wanted my tubes tied after the second one and couldnt get it done. I think it's so dumb!

Answer 3

well I can understand how frustrated you must be, I think the doctors are only telling you that you are too young bc what if you do want more kids in the future sometimes getting your tubes tied is irreversible and it could be devistating to you. also since you are 17 they really can't do that proceidure on a minor unless there is a serious medical issue that calls for you to get your tubes tied. I find this issue so annoying cause I also think if women can abort they should be able to become sterile at any age

Answer 4

i totally agree. Its your body and your life and if you have 3 kids already i say snip,clip,burn,tie whatever but it shouldnt be your drs call. Find another doctor. THey should actually be stopping people after 1 birth. My opinion the world is too f**n crazy right now. Show your right honey cause if woman get preggo and didnt want it then we are c**p for the abortion.

Answer 5

Abortion and sterilization are different in that getting your tubes tied now can be reversed later on, and there is a possibility that you'd change your mind since you're young.  However, you do have a kid and two on the way, so it's definitely responsible to cut that off before you have more that you can't handle.  I couldn't raise a goldfish at 17, much less a child.  I'm sure you're struggling as a teen mom.  You obviously can't change that, but you should be allowed to stop that for the future.

However, if doctors say no, why not go on the pill or practice condom use until you're eligible?  Some pills can be 99.9% accurate and if a condom is used properly the odds go down even more.

Answer 6

it does seem odd. i think they try to wait till you're older because once its happened, its very difficult to reverse. so they want to make sure that you wont split from your partner in the future, marry someone else then want kids with them.

but yes, it does seem unfair. i think they're just trying to do the best for you though. try a different doc - i dont think all docs follow this rule.

good luck!

x*x

Answer 7

What state do you live in that says you have to have 3 kids?

In my homestate of Kentucky you can get your tubes tied at the age of 21 and it does not matter if you only have 1 kid or 7 kids.

You have the CHOICE to take BIRTH CONTROL.

No one can help that you will have 3 kids before the age of 18 years old. I cannot believe that but your life not mine so i really do not care but yes every woman/girl has the right to abortion and so they should.

I guess the reason why the age to get your tubes tied is at age 21 i would say it is so you can be certain you do not want no more kids.

Abortion is not murder like you are implying.

All i know id take BIRTH CONTROL until your 21

Answer 8

I agree; it seems odd to me that you can't make that decision yourself.  I don't know how old you are but perhaps if you are under the legal age, a parent or your husband can get involved and you can get the procedure done.

Answer 9

I understand your position,and at the same time I understand the doctors.When you are 17 you still have a whole life to live and life changes in so many ways and big changes come unexpectedly like a divorce or the death of a spouse.We can't take life for granted and doctors know this.There are many many women who regret this procedure even though at the moment it might have been their best desicion.God hope not but have you thought what would you do if you lost a member of your family,one of your children for instance,or your spouse and then later remarried and your new husband asked you for a child or if you wanted another child yourself?

The reversion is almost always a failure.There are so many birth control choices,if you really made up your mind then it is your desicion after all and you can go ahead and look for the doctor who is willing to do this,or you can just wait few more years until you are eligible,meanwhile use birth control.

The IUD is also a good choice for women who want to have their tubes tied.

Good luck and god Bless!

Answer 10

Well, in most cases, I would say to find another doctor, as it really is your choice and you have valid reasons and there should be a doctor out there who will do as you ask.

However, since you are only 17 and there is a law stating that you have to be 21 to have this surgery, then LEGALLY the doctor is not allowed to perform the surgery.  You'll just have to use condoms or something else until you reach the age that the law allows.

In the meantime, you might want to consider asking your husband if he would be willing to get a vasectomy.  It's much easier, shorter, cheaper, less painful and more reversible than getting your tubes tied.  So I would suggest looking into it.

One other thing to consider is that, yes, you are very young and yes, 3 kids is a handful, but you have a baby right now (and two more on the way).  One day, they will be older and you'll be a pro at being a mommy and there certainly is the chance that you might want another one.  There are women that swear they don't want anymore and then change their minds later, so who knows? You might be one of them.  And getting your tubes untied is not always a procedure that is successful.

The last thing to consider is what if (God forbid) something happens to one or all of your children?  (You know, a horrible car accident or something.  I don't want you to REALLY think about it, like in detail .. but you know, things can happen.)  You might really, really want another child then and it would be so sad if you were only, let's say 26 and you were unable to have any more children.

Just some stuff to think about.  Realistically, I would suggest the vasectomy though.

Answer 11

you make an interesting point though. I don't think all dr.s follow this rule. See, they have  a choice too. They have the choice weather they want to do a tubal or not and most dr.s simply choose not to because in many many cases, a young woman can change her mind.  A reversal is risky and not always effective.  If you are that desparate to have a tubal, seek a dr. that will preform one or have your hubby get a vasectomy