Do you agree that Moms HAVE to work now a days - or do people just refuse to live within their means?

Question

Just wondering what you think?

Answer 1

I think it is a bit of both. People now seem to want more and want it now due in part to our "buy it on credit" need for instant gratification. Prices on everything have gone up over the years because of this therefor causing a need for more household income. However, I do believe we could still live within our means, we would just have to settle for less than what was normal say 20 years ago and learn to be happy with it.

Answer 2

Could be both... Personally, I stay home with our children; homeschool the older two, take care of the toddler, and watch my pregnant self get bigger by the week. :) (Last child.)

However, I will be going into the medical field, soon, and trying to work nights, so I can help out, financially, and still be here for the kids, during the day.

I hate to seem cynical, but with the divorce rates the way they are, I would hope that women at least get an education, in case something (their marriage) goes bust... It's good to be prepared, even if things seem spectacular, right now. Too many women find themselves trapped, cause they're financially dependent on their man, and then they stay in a bad relationship... It doesn't have to be that way.

Answer 3

I would have to be a working mother or I would go bonkers having only kid conversation all day long. I love working! My husband only works part time but that is his choice because he enjoys being at home more. I think its alittle of both.

Answer 4

I am not working, instead im going to school full time.  My husband makes more then enough for us to live a good life.  All of our bills are paid on time every month.  We have food every week and even have money to save.  Just the other day I bought him a Wii for his birthday, and It did not put a dent in our bank account.  On the other hand, some mothers do have to work especially single mothers.  It all depends on the type of area you live in and the cost of everything.  But if a family wants to cut out cable tv and eating out so the mom can stay home, well let them as long as they can pay their bills.

*Now when Im done with school, I will be working full time only because I will be making 3xs more then what my husband makes.*

Answer 5

For us it is not a case of living within our means, I earn three times what my Husband does, so we have no choice, I have to work. In theory Hubbie could give up work, however he 'does not do babies', so until our son is older this is not an option.

Working with a baby is tiring as h**l. Last night I was up with my son twice and then have to do a days work. I am also on-call with my job. So in a night, I can be up with work and the baby. Then again, I can't see being home with a baby being much easier either!

Answer 6

I think its a little bit of both actually...

My husband and I are very conservative in our spending and saving, and we have very low debt etc... but I still have to work.  There is no way we could afford to live with one paycheck... The mortgage is the biggest expense, and our house was only $125,000.  That is SOOOO cheap for most people... that is like a shed... but for us, its still a big bill.

We are very frugal, but the money we save from that is just enough for us to occasionally eat dinner out (once a month), or get a new toy for our son (less than once a month.)

Answer 7

I think it really depends on what state you live in.  I know here in California most moms really need to work unless your partner has a wonderful job.  I'm lucky that I've found a wonderful job from home that is very flexible.  Without my WAHJ I would have to be out in a office from 8 to 5 every day. I know a lot of families here in Cali that live within their means but still need two incomes.

Answer 8

I don't think moms HAVE to work at all.  I think people totally live above their means.  That's why both parents work.  I don't work.  We don't live in a big fancy house, personally I don't want a big house, that's just more to clean.  We have everything we need and some.  But we know how to manage our money.  We don't have any credit cards, no fancy cable, it's just more junk on TV anyway, we are a happy family with just one income.

Answer 9

My family has to have both parents work to pay off our morgage. So I guess that other families are the same.??

Answer 10

I think it really depends on the situation.  Everyone's personal life is different from another's.  

I'm a single mom, so yes, I HAVE to work.  

But someone who has a SO that has a high paying job may not have to work.  

I think this is a question that's answer is going to vary from family to family.

Answer 11

I have been not working for almost 5 months now. Our bills are all paid. My husband has a somewhat decent job nothing fantastic. Sometimes we have to make a choice to stay home and rent a movie and make dinner vs go to a movie and buy dinner. I also gave up my cell phone and car. But I feel like it is totally worth it so that I can spend as much time home with my baby as possible when he arrives in Sept.

I am very lucky though to have gotten pregnant with no previous credit card debt. I wouldn't be able to stay home if that was the case.

And don't forget a lot of mom's choose to work. It is hard to stay home all the time. They have every right to go to work.

Answer 12

Moms don't have to work if the family is willing to sacrifice some things for her to stay home with the kids.  Unless of coarse the father has a huge income, than living within the means is not such a great issue.

In many cases, going back to work, would cost more money than staying home.  Once you factor in the cost of quality child care, gas expenses & additional costs for car maintenance, eating out more for lunches, costs of business attire clothes, getting coffee on the run, and the cost of the mom being so exhausted that most dinners are ordered in, most people are actually spending money to work outside the home rather than adding to the family income.  

In our case, its not worth it financially for me to return to work.  We would have approximatley $600 a week in child care expenses alone if I returned to work.  Plus, I have the added satisfaction of being able to raise my children full time rather than having strangers do it.

With that being said, I also know first hand that Its very difficult to be a full-time working mom.  I was a single mom for many years and had to work.  There was no choice  because we didnt have another income to rely on.

To work or not to work, needs to be a decision that the family makes together.  We all need to try to be less judgmental in this case.

Answer 13

absolutely not... my wife hasnt worked in almost 4 years, i try to keep it that way too

Answer 14

Well, my baby is a full-time job.  As long as the husband makes enough to live of, I think mom provides the best baby care and that's the most important work there is.

Answer 15

I think both are true, depending on the family.  It's far too personal a matter to generalize all working moms in the country, or even in a county, to say that one or the other is universally true.

I know I work because I have to, but I am the only source of income, and the only parent.

Answer 16

It's different from that.Moms today are more educated than their gandmothers.And they feel like going out the door to  give to what they have got from their society.

Answer 17

Well, either mom or dad has to work, that's for sure (unless they win the lottery or have a hefty trust fund).  

And, in many cases, both do.  

We live in an inexpensive house - mortgage payment isn't any more than rent would be in our area.  

All of our cars are paid off, so no car payments.

We don't use daycare (mom & dad work opposite shifts).

Kids are in public schools.  

And, we not only both have to work, to pay our bills, but we also have a third 'family' job - delivering moon jumps & inflatables to parties.  

Not every family has a parent that has a high-paying job.  Some of us are just working class people, trying to get by.

Answer 18

Every family is different. It depends on where you live, your expenses, and the amount of income you make. In CA we needed 2 incomes to survive (even with my husbands trust fund). Here in MN we can comfortably live off one income. Actually we could pay all of our current bills off a McDonalds income. Also take into consideration what a mom is working to pay. If a mom is working to make car payments, save for vacations, or pay for a summer home she probably doesnt really NEED to work. There are other options. If a Mom is working to pay for basic needs like food, clothing, and shelter she NEEDS to work.

Answer 19

~ I think that most people live above their means.

There are some exceptions to that, but I think many more familes could afford to have one parent stay home.  I think in many families a parent staying home, is not a priority.

I honestly don't understand how people afford childcare for multiple children when both parents are working.

If I worked, and had to pay for childcare for 3 children, I would not be profiting much at all!  

"Things" are more important to families, than being home with their kids.  Don't get me wrong, I want "things" but not so badly that I will put my kids in daycare!

ETA ~ We live in California.  And my husband has a decent job.  He does not have a college degree, and it is not a "high powered" or "very high paying" job...  I stay at home, and I've been at home for 3 years now.

Answer 20

It depends on the area and his job. We started on just his income, so we've never had to downsize. Its not easy for everyone to live on one income. Quite frankly, alot of people don't want to. My sister and her husband do, but they struggled for years and lived with family for several years before they could afford their own place. My SIL can't because her husband is a big jerk and thinks his money is his money. She works weekends so she has money for things, even the boy's haircuts. He'd go drink his money and not share it. Each situation is different and I'm not about to pass judgement on how a family chooses to deal with their work/stay home issues.

Answer 21

It's a choice. There are a ton of affordable beautiful places to reside, city and country. So it isn't a money issue all around. I answered another question (you did as well, although your answer was much nicer than mine), and will post the same links to info I found on the subject. It gives a higher divorce rate, and bad effects on the kids to be away at work and not home with them. This started in the 1960's (what happened in the 1960's.....women working), and has risen the rates dramatically ever since. From 1960-1966 the divorce rate DOUBLED! Then betweek 66-76 it DOUBLED again. That isn't just a coincidence.

Mom's don't HAVE to work. If they have a spouse or partner, it is more than possible to live a nice life with one income. We have 500-1000 a month left over after paying all of our bills on my husband 700-800/week income! I'm just a short drive from the Smokey Mountains in East Tennessee.

Having kids just to leave them with someone else 1/3(or more) of the day, is just outright sad! Some people can make it work well, thats not in question. At the same time, there is an obvious link to breakups/downfalls of the family as a whole more times than not. It is a well researched statistical fact. Women working long hours are over 3x's more likely to divorce!!!! What about these kids caught in the middle....how is it better for the mom to not be home with her family.

Edit* after reviewing other answers, I see that some people can't manage finances very well or something. We bought our house when I was 19. It's sitting on an acre of land, 2 miles off the second largest lake in the state! We drive an 06 Toyota, And we pay our bills on time all the time with no problem. We have 2 kids, and I'm 15 weeks 4 days with our 3rd and last baby! I am 21 years old!!!!! So if we can make it and still have plenty left over on my husbands wage alone...then what the heck are other people spending their money on!?

Answer 22

It's not the 50's anymore, and things are just too expensive now to live on one income. It's socially accepted for moms to work and it is also a necessity.

Answer 23

Most moms that work HAVE to work to pay for everything they need. Now I'm not sure what you mean by refuse to live within their means.  Are you asking if moms are working because the family lives in a huge house with two nice cars, a big screen and all the amenities?  Maybe a small percentage.  But overall I think a majority of moms are working to make the lives of their children better and because they have to survive day to day.

Answer 24

people live out of their means.  i was blessed with twins, and chose to stay home with them,,,after we moved i knew i could NOT afford daycare for twins in the area we were in,,so i continued to stay at home.  yes times were tough and tight,,,i wear jeans that are 8 years old (then they are turned into shorts for yard work), i drive an 8 year old car (that is paid off), my husband has a 13 year old car (that is paid off).  we live on a budget, and make things work.  my husband and i have made sacrifices for the kids and our home.  my kids have the things they NEED and some they want.  i put a full dinner on the table everynight,,,some nights it is just hot dogs and mac and cheese but it is a meal.  we save and shop around for things to get the best deal.  i realize that some cannot live the way we do, but some just choose not to.  our children know the value of a dollar, and that every dollar counts.  I do not need to drive a 30$ thousand car, or live in a 250$thousand house to be happy.  we are proud of what we have and what we do.  for us it was the best decision of our lives, and we work hard to make it work for us.

Answer 25

when i have a baby, i know i will have to work.  my husband and i are trying to work out a situation where we could work different shifts, or have different days off.  so that way one of us will be raising our kid.

we have no credit card debt.

our only bill is the mortgage, utilities, food, and car.

EDIT; in response to someones answer that divorce rates spiked once woman began working.  well maybe the woman began working so that they can finally get a divorce.  my point is that the "work outside of the home" did not cause the divorce, it encouraged unhappy woman to get a job so that they can get the divorce.

Answer 26

Every family is different.  I don't have to work *shrugs*