Do you agree with the author of this article?

Question

http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/it-s-not-always-about-adoption

Answer 1

i agree with it, not every little mood swing or problem we have should just be attrubited to adoption. i mean i could of had a bad day, because the boy i liked asked another girl out, i got a bad grade in class. or my sister is stealing my lime light and she gets away with it because she is so little. Anyway what i'm saying that though some adoptees do deal with issues regarding adoption, not every single thing in our lives that goes wrong should be attruibted to adoption.

Answer 2

Yes I do.

Answer 3

I absolutely agree. I'm 19, and I was adopted at birth. Around ages 15-17, I went through that adolescent angst thing, and of course, my mom (who is loving and awesome) wanted to shuffle me off to therapy to talk to someone about my feelings on being adopted. She can't seem to believe that it HAS NOT affected me negatively. It's actually done the opposite: I genuinely love that I am adopted. It's unique, and I was adopted by someone who adores me and has, I think, shaped me into a pretty good individual.

Answer 4

I think I do, but I am sure that won't be a popular sentiment.

Answer 5

Absolutely.

That is not to say that adoption itself does NOT affect children negatively, but I agree with everything she said..

Answer 6

I think the author is making the point that parents must educate themselves.  I agree

Answer 7

I agree.  Sometimes, problems adoptees have is related to the experience of adoption, but some times it isn't.  As adoptive parents, sometimes we are oversensitive about it, thinking that every little bad mood or temper tantrum MUST be because they were adopted.  Not because they weren't allowed ice cream for breakfast, or because they had a fight with a friend, etc.  

I wonder if sometimes we are /so/ oversensitive to it that we, as adoptive parents trying to encourage our children to talk about their adopted-related feelings, are giving our children the impression that something MUST be wrong with them, as adopted children.

Just something I've kicked around.

Answer 8

I do agree with this author- however I can honestly say that there are adoption related issues that can come up, and when they do we cannot negate them.  I myself never experienced any of the negative sides to adoption, however I know some who have.  I hiccuped as a child, and still do as an adult and I can tell you it is not adoption related.  We get so caught up in the psychological stuff with adoption that we as adoptees and also adoptive parents, which I am as well, that we miss out on the joy of growing up and then parenting.

Answer 9

She makes sense by stating that you cannot attribute every small issue to be adoption related.  However, it is important to realise that some issues will be, and you can never rule that out.  Very often the adoptee themselves will not realise that their feelings of loss and rejection and total lack of control will impact on their reactions to seemingly unassociated issues until much later.  So whilst it is important not to focus too greatly on if the adoption situation is causing certain problems with the child/adolescent/adult, it is also important never to assume that it may play a role in it, as ignoring the possibility could lead to damage.

Answer 10

As an adoptive parent, it is always a balancing act and you always second guess yourself.  I think that sometimes when an adoptive parent is so concerned (and they should be) about recognizing adoption issues, it is easy to attritube every single behavior to adoption.  And of course something so core to one's self as adoption does shape a child, so in a sense it does play into every behavior.  But, there is a risk that something else wrong or right is playing into behavior will be overlooked when the lens through which we view things is set on adoption issues.  So, as a parent, you don't want to overlook adoption issues, AND you don't want focusing on adoption issues to cause you to overlook other issues.  It is one of the complications of adoptive parenting.  One that we are glad to take on, but one that exists and one that adoptive parents shouldn't be criticized for discussing.  I can see, however, that this article may come off too much like it is telling parents adoption issues aren't as important as we think, and there is a danger in that.