Do you agree with the professor on monogamy?

Question

The following excerpts from Yahoo news under the heading

Are human beings monogamous?

I don't think we are a monogamous animal," said Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle. "A really monogamous animal is a goose - which never mates again even if its mate is killed."

She added, "Monogamy is invented for order and investment - but not necessarily because it's 'natural.'"

Answer 1

I would agree with professor Schwartz. As human beings we have certain needs, if those needs are not meet by our partners we tend to move on to someone who can and will fill them. We should work out our differences but most people don't bother because it is far easier to just move on.

Answer 2

My mother would be rolling over in her grave to hear this. She maintained faithfulness to my father who died when I was very young. She may not have been fulfilled but she was monogamous to her dying day. Maybe she was part goose?

If the values of a strong and healthy relationship were taught throughout school, then maybe the natural tendencies of humans would emerge. But when we, as humans, settle for less than we truly want in a relationship time after time, relationship after relationship, then how could we remain in just one unfulfilling relationship?

So the key is to not settle for less than you want, desire, and dream of. Then there would be no need to always be looking for the next person to have a relationship with. Looking at marriage once you find that one then can commence. But to keep settling for less does leave one skimping on the dream.

Answer 3

Well according to the professor's rigid definition of monogamy, she's right... we're not truly monogamous.

But I think we DO have monogamous drives, because it is evolutionarily adaptive to stick around and care for the young.  If you look at the statistics, human babies raised by two parents fair better in the real world.

She might have used more careful a word than "invented."  Although we decide to get married, the monogamous drive is not a simple decision or invention.  Both men and women genuinely want to spend the rest of their lives with each other.  And they probably WOULD if it were not for other drives that frequently get in the way.

Answer 4

Check out my similar question in Religion & Spirituality. :-)

I believe this could explain why it is so hard to stick to just ONE PERSON for your ENTIRE LIFE. I mean, holy c**p! What a commitment.

I tend to agree with the statement that monogamy was invented, not natural.