Do you always agree with your husband/ partner about things to do with your baby?

Question

My partner and I seem to not agree on all things baby - worse because he already has 2 children and goes by what he has always done (his youngest is 8 now) this is my first baby and there are a few things we can't agree on.

(He doesn't want to use cloth nappies - I do, he doesn't have a problem supplementing breastfeeding with formula - right now I do - there's no need, he wants to give baby water, I don't see the need because he is breastfed and not ill etc.

Anyone else have some things they differ on?

Answer 1

My husband and I disagree on alot of stuff when it come to baby and we are both new parents.

Answer 2

Just let him take care of the baby!!!

Hey I had kids, I'm happy when someone else does the work LOL

No I didn't agree with everything, and it's aggravating, since clearly I know everything and best!!! :)

Answer 3

My husband has been extremely supportive.  It is my first and his second, he has a 16 y/o.  He has deferred to me in every instance, trusting my judgment.  It's funny because when I was pregnant I didn't worry thinking he'll know what to do, but my motherly instinct kicked right in and have hardly doubted myself.  I am sure once the real "parenting" starts I'll be lost.

Answer 4

I'd say it was the cause of 99% of our arguments, and our kids are 7 and 10.(so it doesn't get any better)

BTW my fella has 3 previous kids, so yes he's been there done it all before too. I'd beg to differ really, I expect his wife did more of the child rearing, I know I do now! lol

Answer 5

Yes we sit down talk about what we feel is right reasons why and come to a mutual decision.We do this with everything it's just the way we work x

Answer 6

Like you, I am with a man who has previous children, oldest same age.  We rarely agreed on things in the beginning because he "has already done this".  He even tried to tell me how to breastfeed in the hospital which the lactation consultant stated was wrong.  Sooo...some things I would let him do his way, and when the end result was not satisfying, I would say, when you do this...this is what happens.  But you have to let them try first before you can point out what they did is wrong. I would also take him to pediatrician visits and ask the ped about things you disagree on.  Sometimes they have to hear it from the "professional" to believe it. Also, he has to be willing to let you learn some things on your own.

Answer 7

yes we do! we're both first time parents but we still disagree. i think it's quite common because you're always warned not to get caught disagreeing about children in front of them so it can't be very uncommon.

try to compromise a little to avoid friction. maybe your partner wants to be a part of the feeding and instead of giving baby formula you could pump... you could use disposables when you travel, but cloth nappies  when at home. things like that

do you explain to him why you choose these things? maybe he just doesn't understand. explain that you are worried about the environment your son will have to live in if you (and everyone else) uses disposables. you get the idea.

and every once in a while, a little white lie is ok. my partner thinks i should stop breastfeeding my 14 month old son and i keep saying i will in 2 months and i've been saying for since christmas lol. it just avoids conflict.

Answer 8

Oh yeah! My husband and I NEVER agreed with our 1st..and he never had any other kids. Now we have another baby we agree...we learned together...your husband needs to listen to you about the food...you're doing the feeding....as for cloth nappies...does he do most of the changes or you? If it is you then he will have to back down. Try to discuss things before they come up..like weaning...talk about that now at a quiet time and back up your thoughts and ideas with medical evidence from books or the doc.....discuss discipline now too....I am against hitting children but my husband probably would have given the odd tap...NOT ALLOWED! You have to knid of put your foot down a bit...you are the Mother the main carer...so you get the last say. I bet some people will disagree with that but you carried the baby...just try to head off the descisions before they happen

Answer 9

My husband thinks I'm trying to put our 5 month old on a strict eating schedule. She eats 24 oz (on occasion sometimes 28 oz) daily plus twice a day she gets solids. I have her on a schedule and it works out fine but when he's home (I'm a stay at home mom) and sees what I do, he questions it. It works out just fine when I do it. I time the bottles and about when she'll get her solids so she can go to sleep around the same time every night. He and I butt heads on that sometimes.

Answer 10

No, we pretty much agree. Or, I should say, my husband lets me take the lead and make those types of decisions.  the one area we may disagree on is baby equipment -- strollers and such.  

I can see how this would frustrate you!!!  I always think these decisions  are best left to the mom (dad's can pick strollers).  sexist, i KNOW, but, i can't help but think it.  It's the mom's role to care for her baby, and the dad's role to provide lots & lots of support.  plus, you've probably been reading lots of current baby books in preparation for your baby and doing research online, so you're up-to-date with the latest in baby care (ie -- no water, no supplementing with formula, etc).  i would share the information/research you find.  make some concessions, but on the things that are less consequential to you & your baby.  

Answer 11

Well i expect he is trying to save you work, re nappies! supplementing newborns with formula when breastfed, isn't the end of the world, if you are coping without using formula and your baby isn't hungry and crying then why give formula! You can give a breastfed baby water, but i never really bothered, they get what they need in foremilk! (my mum could never get her head around that idea either!)

He probably feels, you may be questioning his parenting methods, I would be cross if my husband told me how to bring up kids, ( I had two before him) he relied on me showing him!  

Answer 12

My huband thought that I was nuts to use cloth diapers and he didn't want to "mess" with them.  So we compromised:  I bought the more expensive Bumgenius that work very much like disposables, he never washes the poopy ones, and I do all of the laundry.  He does change them and he does assemble them.

We also had a problem with formula - Now we just have a package of the glass bottles with it premixed incase of an emergency when I wouldn't be able to get home or when he is out with the baby and isn't able to get back.  It gives him piece of mind that our baby won't go hungry.

And there are times when they are just flat out wrong - there is no reason to give a breastfed baby water.  Sorry charlie - you're wrong!  Provide him with literature that explains the needs of a breastfed baby.  The kellymom site is great for that stuff!

It's tough though because these are little things - bigger stuff is yet to come!  Find a way to work them out now.

Good luck and happy parenting!

Answer 13

I couldn't even list them, but discipline is the main sticking point with us. And activities for them to do when they're older. All you can do is sit, explain your reasoning to each other and come to a compromise. :)

Answer 14

Simply the answer is No, we all have our disagreements it will be a learning curve for you both, each of you will have to give and take in your idea's of how to bring up baby, you have the added difficulty,in that he has children already, so he may be set in a way of thinking, what is right and what is not.I agree with you on the nappy issue but I agree with him on the formula issue (mainly because I had hungry baby boys and my milk wasn't good enough) the most important thing is that you both talk to each other in a rational way each giving the reasons why you think like you do, if it makes it easier write it down, the pros and cons as you each see it. I hope you resolve your issues having a baby is the easy part, the next 20 years are the hard part.

Answer 15

Most of the time no, he's very overprotective of them which is great but can be annoying. If I'm playing with them and like flipping them upside down he's like "don't do that, you're going to drop him" things like that. Or we don't have alot of money but always insists on getting the expensive things when you can just go on craigslist or a consignment store for half the price.