Do you and your family feel settled where you live...I've moved 8 times in 10 years...?

Question

My children are 3 and 12 weeks so most of the moves were made before I met my husband. At the moment we live in my home town...but I lived in a capital city for ten years before I met my husband. and moved a few times then...we are thinking of moving into the countryside in a different part of the country...but I worry that I won't ever feel settled or that I belong. I came back to my hometown as I have family here whose roots here that go back 200 years...but still dont feel I belong! I know that my children will need a settled home soon with school starting...but what if I make the wrong choice...I have issues with this town...it has many social problems and the schools are bad...my husband feels the same as me but his family are abroad. We are both self employed which has enabled us to avoid settling anywhere so far....does anyone feel the same or do you have any thoguths or advice?

Answer 1

Well if you both feel unhappy about the schools and social problems in the town your in and will worry everyday when your children start going to school whether they are ok or getting a good education then I personally would move! Just think how much fresh air and exercise they will get out in the countryside and they may have better schools near-by as well. I'm sure your family will be ok with it as you said you will only be 2 hours away and you will be able to visit quite often.

Anyway if you and your husband feel happy moving to the countryside to give yourself and your kids a better life then just do it, you can take your jobs with you so you don't have to worry about work! I'm sure deep in your heart you know what is the right and wrong choice. :-) Hope i helped :-) (keep your head held high)

Answer 2

I have moved five times in as many years and although I bought my present house with the intention of staying I don't yet feel settled. I've been here a year now, and I'm afraid I've simply gotten used to moving. I think what I am looking for is the England of old which doesn't exist any more. I'm so angry and frustrated that the Government has facilitated the ruin of this country. I'm beginning to feel trapped and am even considering a move to France. My advice is if you decide to move, go before your children start school. It will be easier for them to make friends if they all start school together.

Answer 3

Oh gosh we have moved TONS trying to find a place that just feels right, and we have just recently ended up right back where we started, simply because I gave up- LOL. We went from coastal NC to Iowa. Then we leased 2 different places in Iowa. Then we rented one place in Wisconsin. Now I have had enough, and we are right back in NC. So... I moved to Iowa to be closer to family, but I have found that it doesn't really have a bearing on what makes you feel at home. At least for us, it didn't.. if anything, we felt slightly overwhelmed having people want to visit all the time and expect us to attend weekend gatherings.. but then again, we are kind of private people and enjoy our privacy. You will NEVER know or feel "settled" til you give it a try.

Answer 4

I grew up in Nottinghamshire but now live in Lincolnshire.  Moved here when I was 18 to go to college, met hubby and we have had three different homes.  The first two were rented and we bought this place 8 years ago.

We lived in this house with my first born.  He was diagnosed with leukaemia when he was five and a half then died six months later.  His little sister was 4 weeks old at the time.

I'm no way ready to leave this house.  To many memories.  We just moved my little girl into her brother's room (she is four and a half now) as it is so much bigger than her old one.  Additionally, we need the make the smaller room ready for the new baby when he moves out of our room.

I don't have the answer to where you will feel settled.  Some people are born nomads and need to keep moving.  Others remain in the same village or town where they were born until the day they die.  I guess you need to make a list and prioritise what you need and balance that against what you can afford.

Schooling

Space

Town/country etc etc

(I sound like Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer)

Then take it from there.

Answer 5

You know how to waste alot of money that's for sure.Think of all the other things you could have bought with your hard earned cash,not to mention the great holidays you could have taken your kids on.

Plan ahead, by visiting the area you wish to move to first,go to the local pubs, do the same to a few schools in the area,go to some of the village events and if you find a house you desire, checkout it out at different times of the day for it's activity.

If you want to feel like you belong,use your hobbies or anything you are passionate about and join the local club,where you can have an input and make new friends.

Answer 6

If both of you feel bad about the place why are you even thinking of the place ?And you can always visit family :)

we've been living in our house for 15 years and this is maybe becuase we have nice neighbours and we live in a small town :)

Answer 7

No I hate where I live and I am planning to move away as soon as I can. My children are 13,11 and 9 and I know I will have the hassle of finding schools, especially for my youngest as he has autism, but I know it will be a good thing to do as we are all miserable where we are now. If it is so bad where you are then moving to a better area would be better for you and you family.

Answer 8

I don't feel settled where we are living whilst my husband does.

I eager to move to other city or even country if he's willing to, but i know he wouldn't in a few years time.



our baby is 9 months old, and I hope we can move in 5 years time,maximum!

Answer 9

It's c**p wherever you live. UK is full of social problems and ppl with no respect.

Answer 10

In Singapore, by law we are entitled to have a HDB home. I would not be settled until I got one .

Answer 11

You're right, it is very important to provide a steady, settled home for your children. I've moved a lot myself... I've been here for a few years now, and feel good about it, but after having moved about every six months prior to here, I find myself rearranging everything in the house about every six months!! lol.. Anyway, look around and find somewhere that your children can benefit from. My boyfriend was moved around a lot with his parents and he said it was always horrible, they moved about once a year his entire life.. but then there are children with parents in the military who benefit from the different cultures and experiences. You just have to find what suits you best, and if it takes a few tries before you get there, you'll be just fine. Good luck.

Answer 12

I am settled where i live because of my family being here and i have lived here all my life (West Midlands) but i don't particularly like where i live.  I have always wanted to move to Devon, always went there as a child on holidays and i have family there also.  

If i had the chance to move to Devon, where i actually wanted to go, i would, but i would probably feel unsettled because of all the years i have lived here near my family.

Its tough and i would have to think it through carefully.

I know you need to settle somewhere for the sake of your children, schools etc etc.  You have to think long and hard now and decide whats best for you and your family..

Good luck anyway...

Answer 13

I am living in my 5th house in as many years and am 34 weeks pregant with my first child, we have literally just moved to our current place.

Unfortunately we live in London and can't afford to buy so renting often means moving - our last flat was too small for us and a baby (+ my partners 2 children when they stay with us) and was also being sold.

We will have to move again next year as we are still only renting a 1 bed flat (all we can afford while I am on Maternity Pay!) and will need to move when baby is too big for a cot (which thankfully there is bags of space for in our bedroom)

I don't feel settled at all and I hate moving house. I am not from London but my partner is. Having said that I doubt I would feel settled where I grew up either (Hampshire) as it has been 10 years since I lived there and everyone has moved on.