Do you anyone who gave up his/her child for adoption? How do they feel even years after?

Question

know*** sorry

Answer 1

she wonders about her daughter often and i think she wishes should wouldnt have gave her up but realizes it was the right thing to do rather than abort. it was a bad situation. it is not a open adoption so she has no contact but she does know a little and her daughter has a wonderful home and parents. i think that puts her at peace but she will always wonder about everything...what she looks like, if she knows shes adopted, what shes like ect

Answer 2

My oldest grandchild was adopted- it is an open adoption so we see him when we want.  I get photos every month.  He is now 12.  He knows his parents, both just turned 16, loved him but could not care for him.   He is the most secure and cared for child I know.   What do his parents feel - that they made the most unselfish choice they could for that child!      

They gave him life and gave him to others in love.

Answer 3

No I don't, but I was and I have no intention of knowing who my birth parents were since they had no wish to know me

Answer 4

Nope not personally and I hope they do regret giving up their child for adoption

Answer 5

I am sure there are many women who live their lives in pain because of the heartbreaking decision they had to make.  Unlike an abortion, where there is no kid, this thing never ends.  It goes on forever.

Answer 6

My grandmother and aunt both gave children up for adoption.  My grandmother never talked about it, and didn't tell her subsequent children about it until they were adults.  The child she gave up contacted her as an adult, and they visited frequently, until my grandmother's death.  My aunt had a lot of regret about her adoption.  It was made worse by years of infertility.  She eventually had two kids, and found her first son, but the reunion didn't last long.  The child ended up being a drug abuser, so she stopped contact with him.

Answer 7

No, but as an adoptee, I have forever wanted to know who my birth parents are,  I've heard that I look just like my father, who went to Harvard...and I have a hunch that my birth mother is/was an extended family member but what I would give to know for sure?  Everything!!!  And to meet them, if they are still alive?  Incredibly wonderful.  Imagine not knowing even your own true last name.  I would never want to hurt them in any way, just to know who they are and, from that, who I really am.  I think everyone has the right to know who they really are.  If you adopt, or place a child up for adoption, please do it with a clause that the birth parents get to see the child and at least someday tell her/him the truth.

Answer 8

My aunt gave her first child up for adoption. She thinks about her a lot I'm sure she sometimes regrets it but honestly she is a complete mess giving her up was probably the only good decision she has ever made.

Answer 9

Yes, I know someone. It was me.

Back in 1986, I placed a child for adoption back. Why? Well, My then husband and I had decided we only wanted one child. We already had a daughter (born 1983) so in 1984, I got a tubal ligation. By the summer of 1985, I discovered the tubal failed and I was pregnant.  This unexpected pregnancy came as a complete shock to us all...and at the time, it seem to spell the end of all the hopes and dreams I had for my life.  Back then, I was in college, trying to make it in the music business, my daughter was 2 years old, my marriage was very unstable and I was just terrified of becoming a single mother. I didn't think I was up to it. My own mother was very much the stereotypical embittered martyr about raising three unwanted children alone. As the oldest, I caught the brunt of her fury and I didn't want to wind up being like her.   In those days, I was a young girl with big dreams, some fairly unrealistic expectations (as were many of us who are Boomers) but I had even bigger insecurities.  My (now ex) husband wanted me to terminate the pregnancy, and I'd actually made the appointment, but I just couldn't go through with that. Yet, no one was happy with the pregnancy, either. As the pregnancy progressed, the marriage began to deteriorate even more and we had actually separated during my 7th month.  We went to counseling  at my church, and they suggested adoption as a way of "saving" the marriage.  It didn't work...three years later, we still divorced anyway...and I still became a single mother, just as I had feared would happen.

Deciding upon the adoption was not easy, and I caught a lot of flack about it from people (in fact, I was actually ostracized by a number of the women at that church because it...yet for some reason no one quit speaking to my ex...I was the one labeled as the "bad" one), but given the circumstance at that time, it was the best decision. I still feel that way.

Now I can't speak for other birthmothers, but for me, for the most part, life went on.  I really had no one to talk to about this with, including my ex, and those who did know were fairly judgmental about it, so I just kept my feelings inside.  The divorce happened after we moved to a different state, so I was able to start fresh as it were,  and so I keep my secret from my daughter for 18 years, and from the rest of the world for 22 years.  Yes, I thought of the child I gave birth to from time to time (especially on his birthday). The first few years, I cried when I was alone, but after awhile it became just another day, and I didn't get worked up over it or have deep emotions about it, either.  I knew there was a possibility the child may look for me, and I was somewhat prepared for it...but also afraid of what might happen...because just about everyone back then told me he would "hate" me for "giving him away."

Well, they were wrong! This summer, my son contacted me, and we are now happily in the reunion process. I am very thrilled about this development, and my daughter is over the moon that she has the sibling she had always wanted. I realize that by all natural rights, both of my children should "hate" me...him for the adoption, and her for "lying" by ommission.  Yet that's not how it turned out. I'm just very thankful there really are 2d chances in life...and very grateful to the Lord that both my son and my daughter grew up to be adults who were open, loving , nonjudgmental and don't have a 'punitive' mindset.  They both know the entire story, and were amazingly understanding about it all.  

So...my adoption story turned out happily...and it's now my hope that we'll all grow close as blood relatives.

Answer 10

I honestly don't know anyone who has given up a child, but I have a friend who was adopted. He had no interest in finding his biologicals, because he felt like it would be pointless.