Do you argue in front of your children?

Question

Do you put-down your partner/spouse in front of them?

Do you raise your voice at him/her in front of them?

How do you handle disagreements?

I have a baby on the way and I think disagreeing calmly is fine, but all the rest is not okay.

A friend of mine constantly yells at and belittles her husband in front of their children. I think it sets a terrible example (...in fact, with them, I can't figure out why they're together at all. They never have gotten along!)

Answer 1

weve never fought in front of the kids ( but we rarely ever argue over anything to begin with, hes away at work alot and i think it makes us closer when hes home) but anyhow, kids have no need to know whats going on in adults lives in regards to their marriage and their disagreements. if a situation comes up while the kids are around , excuse yourself if possible, if not, calmly state your piece and  just leave it until you have a better chance .

Answer 2

Yes, we argue but we also resolve our issues in front of our child.

We do not belittle, hit or get out hand though.

Answer 3

my parents argue in front of me

Answer 4

Even after my husband left me, I never put him down in front of the children....it hurts only the children in the long and short run!!

Answer 5

No, but then we don't really argue about anything, either.

We both have a lot of respect for the other as intelligent, caring people.  So, if there is ever a situation where we each feel differently about an issue, we might have a nice discussion about it, listening to the other's take on things & either learn something & change our mind -or- agree that it's a complex issue that can be seen in different ways.

We do sometimes, once or twice a year, have times where one of us is feeling hurt by a misunderstanding or a mistake that we made or the other person made.  We both tend to keep our hurt & fear to ourselves until it starts to spill over in such a way that becomes obvious to the other.  Who then, usually, starts to feel bad themselves.  And, eventually, it all overflows in a late night torrent of tears, fears, reminders of how much we love & admire each other, and finally a celebration of our relationship & how much it means to each of us.

I know couples something like the couple you mention - people who just seem to enjoy arguing & being competitive.  I suppose it's good when they find each other, anyway - rather than being in a relationship with someone who would feel hurt by the arguing.  I don't think it's a good example for their kids though - they're just continuing the cycle, passing it on to the next generation.

Answer 6

You are your child's first teacher, if they don't learn how to resolve conflicts in a calm manner they won't know what to do when arguments begin with their friends at school or with their siblings.

My husband and I make it a point never to belittle each other (regardless of if our children are in the room or not) we just don't do it. We have raised our voices but generally try not to because of what I and our son's have been through with my ex-husband.  If my husband and I do fight we always ALWAYS are mind full that our children are listening (even when they are in another room) But we do "fight" fair.

Answer 7

My children were born a year ago, and we haven't had an argument since then.  Disagreements - mild ones.  We usually just present both sides and come to a reasonable compromise calmly, even while holding hands or sitting arm in arm on the coach (that really is love...)

The last time I argued with my husband is about 4 years ago, right before we got married, when he told me he would help me with seating arrangements for the wedding and he was nowhere to be found - he went out for a run and forgot, and then I snapped at him when he came back (I still feel bad for snapping).

So, to answer your question, no we don't argue in front of our kids.  If I still feel bad for snapping over 4 years ago....arguing in front of my kids would just not be an option!

BTW - I know couples like your friend - argue all the time, call each other names - have no idea why they are together!

Answer 8

i have been married 34 years raised 4 children and have never fought with my husband in front of our kids my oldest once told me she wanted a marrage like mine she knew we took our disagreements else where

Answer 9

I try my best to never put down my husband in front of them occasionally I may say, "oh your daddy should have taken out the garbage before he left" but I don't really consider that a put down, it is a fact after the dog has gotten into it. And my kids are 7 and 9 old enough to know the difference between a statement like that and a put down.

My husband is a major smart *** and I only raise my voice if he does the same thing over and over to intentionally irritate me.

Disagreements we usually leave until we are alone, we bicker a lot but we don't yell and it is just over normal stuff. And we are not alone that much so we email a lot the following day, it works much better for us because no one is yelling or getting defensive. He works 12 hours a day so he comes home plays with the kids, eats and its time for bed for the kids. And he usually crashes out while I am putting them to bed, exciting life we lead LOL

My sister and her husband have always fought horribly in front of their kids, it has put so much stress on them, they are always on the verge of divorce and I feel if your marriage is like that it does not need to be openly shared with your kids but that is the way they are and have been for years. So they are my reason for trying not to do that .

My daughter says we fight a lot but it is more bickering she has no idea what a real fight is she has never seen one. Like I said my husband is an antagonizer and never seems to stop until I snap at him. But we do not raise our voices while bickering.Sometimes it is hard to keep it private when you only see each other 3 maybe 4 hours a day and that is also the time we need to spend together as a family. SO it spills out a little or we just dont talk about the problem which I am sure the kids pick up on as well. But we are very definate on spending time together as a family.

Answer 10

No, I love my hubby. We kiss and hug in front of the kids...but we don't fight.

Answer 11

I don't argue in front of my kids.  Sometimes its hard to walk away when I am really upset.  I don't want my kids to think its okay to speak to their dad in a demeaning way.  Or to think he's an idiot b/c on that particular day, I think he's one. My parents all the time when I was a kid and I don't want to leave that memory with my children.

Answer 12

This is something that I am proud to say me and my husband never do. We do not argue in front of our girls. I think it puts undeserved stress on the children when the parents argue in front of them. Its important to me that our girls see their father and me sticking together and not fighting. Thats not to say there is not the occasional argument, just not in front of them