Do you believe adults over your own children?

Question

when my daughter just told me when my stepbrother was living with us he would watch her get dressed, and when i left them alone he actually had s*x with her. at that time she was 1-4 then again at 7 there is no way that could have happened. My step-brother is in jail now and is coming back to move in with us at the end of september. i think she is lying because she will have to share her room. Should I get believe her or wait until i hear his side

Answer 1

Did you raise your daughter to be a malicious sociopath who would lie and ruin someones life over a badroom. If your honest answer is no then your daughter is NOT lying. If your answer is yes or maybe then call CPS and let them decide if its a lie or not. Children do not make up stories of this kind without good reason. Im sorry but a bedroom is NOT a good reason. 11 yr old children know the consequences of lying about something like this  And children who do lie will usually stick with what they know, which means your child very likely was assaulted at some point. In either case you owe it your child to believe her until its proven she lied.

Answer 2

Belive your daughter.

and why in the h**l would you let him in your house after what she said and he was in jail for stealing..like what are you thinking?

Answer 3

So you have  a step brother in jail but don't believe your daughter.  I certainly would not be taking any chances.  

How is there no way this could have happened unless you had your daughter with you 24 hours a day when this person lived with you.  

Whatever the truth may be you have a lot of sorting out to do as if your daughter feels it is okay to lie about something like this then that is a major problem and if you have someone who has a jail record living with you again another problem.  

I would not be letting your step brother into the house till you get to the bottom of the truth and I know if it was my daughter I would trust her enough to believe her.  So I guess it comes down to what sort of a relationship your daughter has with you and how did you bring her up.

Answer 4

What was he in jail for??

I think you should believe her.

Why would she lie about something that abusive. Just because she want to share a room is not the right answer.

I'm pretty sure she is not lieing about this, but i know a girl who lied and said he uncle sexually abused her.

You need to ask yourself these questions:

1. does she lie to a lot?

2. are they big lies?

You can always take her to the doctor and they can tell you if she is still a virgin, so you know if he has had s*x w. her.

This has happened before so i would say you need to investigate a little more and figure out if it's possible.

-good luck-

-xoxoxo-

Answer 5

you should believe her, kids don't usually lie... i would not allow him to move back in either.. you should definitely check into it.... don't be mad at her.. how old is she??

Answer 6

If my 7 (or 11) year old child told me someone had s*x with them then my child would be at the doctor that afternoon.

While I know we can't always believe every word out of our children's mouths, this is an allegation you HAVE to take seriously and he shouldn't be anywhere near this child until it's resolved.

Answer 7

Take her to the doctor and see if she is still a virgin.You will know for sure then.

If your daughter  is lying then you really need to kick her butt and good.

If she is NOT Lying, then you apologize to her and you make sure your step brother finds his way to the homeless shelter.He being in jail makes your daughter's accusations more credible and I do not think I would want a criminal living with me and my kids.Sorry.He is a bad influence on them.

Answer 8

If my child ever told me something like this I would be mad, not at my child but at the scum who dared to put their hands on her. You should take your child to the Dr. and not let this man anywhere near her again.

How do you know it could never have happened? Did you ever leave her alone with him? Even to run to the store? My sister was abused by my aunts boyfriend everytime she was left alone with that trash.

Never assume that just because your child was so young it couldn't have happened perverts DON'T care about age!!!

Answer 9

You are lucky she doesn't call CPS on you. There is no other side id totally believe her what reason does she have to lie. No one doesn't want to share their room that bad. Think about it hes been to jail for something.

Answer 10

So, on one hand you have a piece of c**p step brother that is in JAIL, because he breaks the law. On the other hand you have an 11 year old little girl. The CHILD tells you step brother harmed her and broke the law some more years ago and you think SHE'S LYING???

Wow. No. That  is so messed up of you.

Would I believe my kid? He** I would believe her if she said something like that about ANY man, in our lives. even the ones I trust the MOST. A child can't protect themselves. It is my JOB to protect her.

Edit: You know what? I hope she tells a friend or a friends parent or a teacher. Then it really won't be up to you, huh? CPS will get called and when they find you have intentions of letter her see him after she accused him of this- they'll take her.

Answer 11

Children lie sometimes to get themselves OUT of trouble, but they don't lie to create trouble.

That is totally false!. Often kids do LIE to cause trouble. Kids will lie and stretch the truth. However it's RARE very rare a child lies about s*x abuse BUT, YES IT HAPPENS that they do lie sometimes. If there is a chance it needs looked into. My daughter accused someone very close to our family. I had her taken to a place that deals with abuse. She was interviewed. The police where notified. In the end they said there was no proof. They were not sure it happened. I had it looked into. I still don't have answers but, i know as her mom i did not just dis miss her. My daughter is a KNOWN LIAR i still went thru the proper hoops to get the truth. It was painful and still causes family drama i did not think it was true but, I did what was necessary by the LAW to find out. Child s*x abuse has to be reported if you don't report it and she tells someone ELSE they do report it you are asking for a boat load of trouble you could lose her and be charged with enabling s*x abuse you were told and ignored it! You are required to have it looked into call your local childrens protective services for advice that is what i did. It was total c**p for the family it tore my family apart but i could not risk letting it go on if it was true. People can be nasty about this subject i don't think your a terrible mom. I do think getting the truth whatever it may be should be 1# on your to do list. If she lied find out why! if it's true you have to have charges brought.

Answer 12

You don't tell us how old your daughter is now, but I would believe her when she says he did something.  Depending how old she is, she may not know what "had s*x" with her really means, but I would not doubt her - something happened!

Children lie sometimes to get themselves OUT of trouble, but they don't lie to create trouble.

Trust your daughter, and never leave her alone with that man.  Ever.

Answer 13

has your daughter been known to fib? kids hear alot of stuff now and incorporate it with what they say and feel, becuase they don't understand the repercussions. im not saying she isn't telling the truth. it is definitely something to dig alot deeper. but kids do lie. this is something that would ruin someone for the rest of his life.

you day there is no way that could have happened. why do you say that? ask yourself, and be honest. if there is even a little shadow of doubt in your mind, take action with your step-brother immediately.

take her to the doctor and have her evaluated. the chance of her being raped by someone else, during that time, is next to nil, so if it comes out that something did happen, then you know who it was. she can talk to a therapist and they ask questions about dolls and what occured and everything. is this the first she has said something about it? i don't know this, is a hard thing. i wouldn't let him stay until  you know something.  

Answer 14

children of that age don't even know what such a thing means, unless it's been done to them. My advice: take her to a counselor. they will get to the truth. A child that age shouldn't be sharing a room with someone that age, anyway. At least, not a male.

You should think of your child, and find out why she's saying what she's saying. You can do more damage to her by assuming she's lying. I'll say, again, a child of that age will almost never lie about such a thing.

Answer 15

Are you crazy???

your child tells you that she was abused and you dismiss it and say its because she doesnt want to share her room!!!!!!!

you dont deserve children if this is how your gonna keep them safe!!

i am so mad at you right now and at the same time  im terrified for your child!!

you dont know me but im begging you to take her serious.. dont let him move in!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 16

Do a backround check on him to be safe.Ask her to repeat her story to see if it changes. When it comes to abuse, I always belive the children,but It depends on the childs track record, how offten does she lie? Do you trust her? Why would she make something that serious up with details and WHY WOULD YOU LET A GROWN MAN SHARE A ROOM WITH YOUR CHILD????????????

Answer 17

Ask yourself this...

1.) Does she lie a lot?

2.) If she does lie, is it huge lies?

If you answer no to those questions, then I say believe her. And I say you call the cops and have them arrest your stepbrother for sexual abuse of a minor.

And by the way no matter what genders, no child should have to share their room with their BABYSITTER!

Answer 18

Well if the guys in jail NOW he's obviously not someone who's that good.

I say you need to go ask him before you do anything else. Because it would not be good to report something false.

Cause she may just not want anyone in her room, like you said.

Now it depends on how she told you this. If she was crying or looked really scared and concerned then she is either 1) telling the truth or 2) is a really good actor.

Good luck with this but do NOT just let this breeze on by before he moves in, and things would be much worse, should this child abuse thing be real.

Answer 19

I would believe my child first no matter what...I would also be taking her to DR ASAP to be checked....then once she is checked you will know if its true or if its something she saw on tv.....

Answer 20

I would not wait to hear his stinking side.  Children are fairly reliable witnesses, more so then adults since they do not confabulate what they remember with the way things out to be or how it makes sense.  Let's put it in other words, adults (like yourself) are more suggestible, while a child is unlikely to take the suggestion.

You are already protecting your step-brother, who is an adult, and not your own child!  You've made your mind up, meanwhile perhaps your daughter has been severely abused by this man.  Do you dare take that chance?  Do you dare choose him over your own child?

Answer 21

You have got to be kidding me....

If letting him move in is even an option for you... you shouldn't be a parent!!

This is an absolutely retarded question...

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO RISK HER BEING RIGHT (( even if for some reason she is lying..) !? OMG!!!!  DUH!