Do you belive in physical disipline or other techniques?

Question

Can you give us a little insight in your disipline techniques?! Please share!

Thanks :)

Answer 1

no i dont believe in physical discipline. as a child when my parents hit me, i would lose more and more respect for them. its sad when someone feels the need to be physically abusive.

Answer 2

Depends on the child. My son was spanked with a firm smack on the behind. Now he is 3 and a threat of a spanking is usually enough to change his behavior. My daughter is 1 1/2 and spankings don't work for her. She is very strong willed and so we are still looking for ways to discipline her. Time outs away from everyone and everything seem to be the best right now. We also only spanked when the child is hurting another person or not listening and in danger of hurting themselves.(running into the road)

Answer 3

I am very anti-spanking!

We have a very firm discipline system in our house.

It works on merits and demerits.

We all decided what the rules were and what were important to us as a family. Some of these rules are things like, not using negative put downs (ie calling each other stupid), no hitting, to share, etc.

So everyone starts at 0 on Sunday nights.

If you break a rule you get a demerit.

If you do something extra for no reason or get caught being really kind you get a merit.

So the number goes up and down. If you reach your total demerits you are banned from TV, games, etc., for 24 hours. If you reach your total merits you get a treat, ie. lunch order, extra desert.

Each child depending on their age have a different total number to reach.

ie. The 8 year old needs 10 merits, the 12 year old 6 merits.

We have a different number because we believe that it is age appropriate and the younger ones are by nature going to make more mistakes as a natural part of learning.

The system works. We don't get arguing over "it's not fair" as we have already decided together that these are our family rules.

I think that our system gives allowances for normal and necessary negative behaviour and provides an opportunity for us as parents to enforce a consequence for their behaviour, whilst still allowing us the opportunity to be able to lead them in more positive directions.

Too many parents DEMAND their children behave, whereas I welcome the opportunity for my kids to not always do the right thing... how else would I get the chance to teach them a better way.

EDIT: Yes I agree, in a sense they do "get away with it" if they miss their limit, but this is a life lesson also. Don't we as adults make mistakes and then correct ourselves with no punishment other than having it pointed out to us?

Everytime they get a demerit I sieze the opportunity to discuss what they did and what they could do differently next time.

I see our system as an opportunity to teach and lead them in a positive direction - discipline does not always equal punishment so if they correct themselves and move on to more positive behaviour then I believe I have done my job.

And so you know, it is VERY VERY rare that any of the kids even come close to reaching their limits. I have instilled self discipline in them by allowing them to assist in making the "rules" and as a consequence they know right from wrong.

Answer 4

nothing to learn from physical anything !!!!  Corners are good take toys games tv or whatever that is important to them

Answer 5

I do not have children but have a lot to do with them. I find physical discipline makes the child either more frightened, timid and submissive or on the other hand more rebellious and lacking in respect for authorities. I have been to parenting classes to prepare for my role as a family support worker and I can tell you what is most effective is effective and positive communication. Praise the child when it is doing well and tell the child what you expect all the time and always communicate. Do not label the child as "bad" or naughty. Instead say I love you but I do not like your behaviour. Writing a contract of what you and the child want to achieve, for instance to stop using a nappy, or to behave in a shopping centre works also. When the child behaves, a gold star on the chart and so many gold stars equals the reward. Maybe lunch at McDonalds, a new toy they wanted or a picnic in the park. Remember, children are people and people work best when effective communication is involved

Answer 6

when a child is too young to understand,,,(under 2)...a firm talking to,or a time out.or even not letting them have their bottle,,,,just does not seem to do it,when they are putting objects into the power point...i know that age is the key issue to the type of punishment required,,,ever tried spanking your 22 year old son???

Answer 7

Both

Spanking is used as a last resort. If spanking is used correctly, children will tend to stop (what ever deed their into) at the very idea a spanking is possible.

Answer 8

I don't believe in physical punishment because I've NEVER seen a parent use it effectively.

Usually when parents (that i've witnessed) spank their children, it comes across as an easy way out.  

Example - a child is not listening so the parent threatens a few times, then gives the kid a swat on the bum and then walks away while the kid cries and says "well then listen next time or it will be worse".  

It's really hard to watch.  And, in my opinion, if a child does it the "right" way out of love and hugs the child and everything, then there really wasn't any need to resort to physical punishment in the first place because that parent already has wonderful skills which should enable him or her to achieve the goal of obedience through non-physical means.

In my home we use time outs and a "formal apology".  It's a form found that looks like this:  http://loscuatroojos.com/wp-content/uplo... but we've adjusted it to fit our family...it's actually really effective because it forces the kids to think about their actions.

Answer 9

I usually used redirection then separation.  If the child really needed to be snapped out of something, it was a firm voice and a touch to the arm to get their attention.  Sometimes holding when they are having a melt down.  Every child is different and requires different techniques.  I never pounded their bottoms or anything like that.  As they aged, it is discussion, removal of privileges, and reason.  

Answer 10

I believe that when they are too young to reason with, like 2, then a smack on the bottom is the way to go. Especially when they are being very naughty or doing something dangerous. I get frustrated when I watch these new age parents trying to reason with their toddler. Saying things like 'please don't do that' when they are demolishing a store display, or kicking at a parked car or such nonsense. A firm 'no' as a warning, then a flat handed short smack on the behind, which is usually well cushioned at that age anyway. Never smack anywhere else and never use an object though.

When the kids are older though, timeouts, removal of privileges etc. is much more effective. Sitting them down and explaining why their behaviour is unacceptable and what consequences will result from their actions is the way to go. Just my opinion.  

Answer 11

We do timeouts, take away priveledges and ground them for discipline and we also do a lot of positive rewards and reinforcments when they are doing good (no matter how small the good deed is).  I use to use physical punishments of spankings (clothed bottoms with palm of hand) but all that teaches is a child to hit others when they are mad or they will get more sneaky about things or even fear the one hitting them.  With the techniques we learned through "Incredible Years" the kids actually show more respect and they still know I am boss and even though they still test me they also know when i say something I mean it.  I haven't spanked in almost 2 years and they are so much better because of it.  

Answer 12

As a child I was severly physically abused and no I do not believe I learnt anything good from that. I am pregnant with my first and will probably make alot up as I go along but I believe rewarding good behaviour is just as important as disciplining bad behaviour. My child will NEVER be physically disciplined. There are plenty of ways to condemn bad behaviour without hitting. I think that if more people utilised other methods we wouldn't see so much violence as people get older. For example physical bullying in the schoolyard. I believe that children should be taught that hitting people etc is not acceptable under any circumstance (unless perhaps self defense). My older sister has two young boys and she feel as I do. Her children don't get smacked and they are well behaved boys for the main part. They still do things wrong but that's part of being a child and learning

Answer 13

Um as a mommy of 3 kiddos girl-age 13 boy-age 10 and daughter age 5 physical discipline depends on the age of the child and the severity of the issue. A swat in the rear is as effective as you want it to be, with my trio I tend to torture in a funny sense (ie take a fav toy and play w/ it in front of them or if they are reading a good book reveal the details to the next chptr) its not as painful as a butt whooping. I tend to joke with my kids and try to be a silly kid with them, alot of my teenagers friends like to be around our home and hang out, I guess there are times to be the anal retentive parent and times to let your child grow into an adult through life expierence. Live and Learn sometimes it might hurt.

Answer 14

I don't believe in physical discipline. My techniques are like what you see on the nanny shows and it works. I could never hit my kid. He could never make me that mad. I that you have to be a bit mislead or mean-spirited to do that.