Do you celebrate Gotcha Day?

Question

We don't, I don't care for it but I know several people who do. Where do you stand?

Answer 1

We celebrate Reunion Day.

Answer 2

My son and I do something special together (just us two).  I don't usually say why...  I also celebrate his natural mother's birthday...  but have never told him that.  I just make sure we have a cake or piece of cake that day.

What "gotcha day" as some call it, refers to for me is the day I first met my son.  It was my first time ever on a plane.  It was my first day in Guatemala or even out of the USA.  It was my first time being a Mommy.  It was the first time I held him.  It was also the first time I had legal physical custody of him.  It all happened on one day: August 1, 2005.  That day was very special to me and yes I honor that day EVERY year.

Yes, I'm sure my son was very confused at almost 8 months old...  yes, I'm sad that he couldn't have stayed with his natural family.  But, I am so thankful that I was chosen to be his Mommy.  And on that day...  that bittersweet day, we became Mommy and son for real.

Stinky: If stabbing cakes is what it takes to help heal from emotional pain, then I'd say go for it.  Better yet, if you are a natural mother who placed her child through adoption, sit down each year and write what's on your mind.  When your child is older you may have the opportunity to give those to him/her.

Answer 3

Unfortunately they did. In our house it was called.

"Happy my name Day".

Not really a celebration though. Maybe cake and visit from ADad.

Never really understood what I was suppose to be happy about.

I still have an Aunt who calls me every year to wish me  "Happy my name Day".  

Answer 4

We never celebrated it.  I do, however, celebrate "reunion day" with my natural mother.  We have two, actually...we always celebrate the day we "completed the circuit"...as in, I had posted on a search website, she had found it and wrote me an email, I read the email and wrote back...circuit complete!  In addition, we also celebrate f2f day -- the day we first met face to face.  It was awesome!

As a child/teen, I never knew what day I first 'came' to my a-parents (16 days old), nor did I know what day my adoption was finalized (13 months later).  I learned both through reading my adoptive mother's journals -- at her invitation and with her blessing -- around the age of 23.

With two other adopted siblings, and me, that would have made for a LOT of 'celebrations' (most of them not so pleasant for we who were adopted) in our family.  Oh, and my sister -- the "not adopted" one -- would have been jealous as she has ONLY her birthday...no, we never did it.  :-)

Answer 5

I am grateful to say that my adoptive parents did not celebrate "Gotcha Day" or anything akin to it.

Answer 6

We call it "Homecoming Day" .  We've celebrated it twice and both times, my children were marking it on the calendar to make sure nobody forgot.  

As a family, we go out to dinner "someplace fun", (read: pizza, video games and skeeball with little tickets) and we talk about those first few days of getting to know one another.  My daughter especially enjoys re-telling how naughty her little brother was on the airplane ride back ("Give me candy or I cry.")  While my younger son gleefully talks about the time his sister stepped on a frog with her bare foot and it went *squish*.  

As parents, we don't direct the "Homecoming Day" memory conversations, neither do we push that it be recognized at all.   For as long as the children want to mark the day and talk about their memories, we are happy to do it.

Next year, they tell me that they want a jumping castle, a pony and a swimming pool party... but I think we'll stick to the small dinners.  Can't blame them though.  Ponies are a lot of fun!

Answer 7

Why would anyone want to celebrate the day that it's legally official that your child is no longer a part of the family that created him and gave him life?  How sad.

Answer 8

One thing we actually agree on! =)

My family celebrated a family day, were i got presents. I mean it was like celebrating the fact we became a family. My parents never viewed my adoption as getting me. They always viewed it as taking care of me for my b-mom. Besides the term "gotcha day" just sounds wrong: almost like you are buying a thing or stole something. I don't know the term sounds wierd to me.

But if you wanted to celebrate family day, i say do. like on family day you can take your kid to the park, zoo or do other fun stuff. just a reason to do something fun as a family.

Answer 9

what is gocha day?

Answer 10

no, we never celebrated it.  to me it would have been insulting to my daughters

Answer 11

Every year on the anniversary of my adoption I bury a tiny piece of my soul.

ETA:  Yeah I know Mei Ling, aren't I?  I get it from my N-dad, he was such a drama-king.  lol.

Or maybe it's just PMS, I dunno.

Answer 12

Never heard of it.

Answer 13

what is it?

Answer 14

I  hadn't heard this term either...we celebrated "Korean Children's Day" once a year...I think that last a whole two years or something.   I don't even know the exact date of my adoption either.  I just know the month & year.  I do remember they threw a party once we became citizens so many years later...don't remember that date either.

Answer 15

Personally, I dislike the term "Gotcha." It makes the child sound like a possession, something the parents "got" rather than someone they joyfully welcomed into the family. I wouldn't use that term.

Whether I would celebrate the finalization of the adoption would depend. With a child adopted as an infant or toddler, I probably wouldn't, because they wouldn't consciously remember any other situation, so I don't see much purpose in calling attention to what is already their status quo.

If the child was old enough at the time of the adoption that the day we became a family was actually something that they remember and is meaningful to the child, not just to me, I would-- but using a different term. I would lean toward Family Day.

Answer 16

im not adopted but my bff is...they celebrate it but call it katie day! lol i think its oct. 16...

Answer 17

I haven't adopted, and I don't plan to, but if for some reason I did, then NO! I would not. (I can't believe we actually agree on something!)

Nothing like rubbing the loss in their face on the day they lost their family...

birthdays should be plenty

Answer 18

Ya know, I had never heard the term Gotcha Day, till I started coming on here.  Our son states that he wants a party the day of the adoption, depending on his mood...but we would never celebrate the day that we "got him"...to me that is a little morbid.  Maybe morbid isn't the correct word, it just came to mind!

Answer 19

Gotcha Day is the day the AP's got a baby/toddler out of their mother country or out of the childs mothers arms.

I know....its sick. Another sick special day created by the Christian adoptive parents. Its sounds  a bit "white trashy" if  you ask me.

Its should be called what it really is...."I own you now".

Answer 20

My parents called it my 'special' birthday but it wasn't that big of a deal.  I'd get a small present and get to pick dinner.  My mom says the reason she celebrated it with me and my brother every year was so that we'd know that we should never be ashamed of being adopted and that her and my father would never treat it as something that should be 'underwraps.'

She'd also talk about my f-mom and how much I looked like her.  My parents have always been very careful in our house to NEVER put down f-moms or the circumstances under which we were placed.  My a-mom  has never lied to me and has been completely supportive of my feelings and desires surrounding my adoption.  She still takes me out to dinner, just her and me, on my special birthday and we usually spend that dinner talking our own adoptions together. (She was adopted too.)

Answer 21

Did someone trap a frightened animal?  I mean, seriously "Gotcha".  Could it get any more distasteful

Answer 22

Hmm.  I had to think about this a little bit before answering because to me, there are two phases in getting the kids.  The first one, which I assume is "Gotcha Day" is the day we got them as foster children (3/7).  We don't really celebrate that because it was so scary for the kids.  I will never forget the look of utter fear on their faces.

The second phase is the actual "Adoption Day" which we will celebrate.  It is on 11/8 and it took an agonizing two years to get there.  The first parents were very supportive and as excited as we were for their children to have permanency.  I don't think we would celebrate it if the first parents hadn't been on board and excited because the kids would be sad about it.  But they like the idea of celebrating it and remember the day as well as they do their birthday.

I am sure that I will get thumbs down but I think it's okay to celebrate Adoption Day if the kids are truly happy about it.

Answer 23

wouldn't celebrate it in a million years.

HA HA HA HA GOTCHA! Sounds like a criminal offense.  

Answer 24

No we don't celebrate it. For my son that would be the equivalent of celebrating "So glad you never get to see your mom again Day."

He was very aware what his coming to live with us meant to him. It was bitter sweet for him, but mostly bitter.

We did pick one day, not in the same season to simply celebrate our family, including the cats, rats, turtle, and fish. We also take time on that day to remember those who are still part of us but no longer here, such as my mom, their mom, and our dead cat sophie. We usually do something family oriented and buy a seriously expensive cake and eat it.

Answer 25

"Gotcha" Day is a dislikable term. I hope this term disappears.

Am I the only one who finds this a bit interesting?:

"Hey H.A. - one of our family traditions is 'Breakin' the Law Day' because on the day that we finalized our son's adoption my husband took a picture of him on a pile of pumpkins at a nearby farm. He's wearing a USA flag sweater and sitting on a pile of pumpkins under a sign which reads: Do not climb or sit on pumpkins

I find it absolutely hysterical so we always mark the day with innocuous violations of the rules!"

Answer 26

No we do not. Although we love and respect my daughter's first family it just doesn't seem important or necessary for our family to celebrate the adoption experience with a day of it's own.

Answer 27

No, we don't. I have not heard of it until a few months ago.

Answer 28

Yeah... strange. I thought more people would know what "Gotcha Day" is too. O.o I guess not.

Anyway, nope. I was never told the date. It just didn't seem.. I'm not sure what the word is. That big of a deal? XD Of course, my adoption being finalized was, but actually being told the date when I first stepped onto Canadian soil? Nope.

All I know is that my adoption was finalized March of 1988.

Lillie: Wow. Now that's what I call being dramatic. >_<

Answer 29

HE!! NO

Answer 30

Hey Lillie, I'm in a dramatic mood today too. How about we get together to celebrate our Lostya days this year. We can make big heart shaped cakes and take turns stabbing it.