Do you consider this an insensitive thing to tell a depressed person when who needs emotional support?

Question

You tell someone a problem you're going through, like an abuse crisis. & they tell you, "You can either change your life & forget about it, or you can let it control & destroy you. It's up to you."

I feel like that's not helpful advice. If I suffer depression, anxiety, & PTSD, as an illness, I can't just easily "snap" out of these feelings. Plus, it makes me feel like the person is blaming the victim.

Answer 1

I totally understand. I've been told things like that by even my own psychiatrists and therapists; but, honestly, sometimes statements like that are meant to push a person, to motivate them. But I agree with you that it should have been worded with more explanation and much more encouragement than that. You're right - you can't get over it in a day. But it's possible that that's not what they were insinuating. I think it was meant to be a motivator, and to "make" you realize that whatever happened is eating away at you and that you have to try to do something to stop it. It takes a long time, and the person may not have understood that, but it IS up to you to at least begin the steps to getting better. You might not do well, sure, but most people do - as long as they work at it. It's hard to work at it, I know, but you need to if you ever want to get better. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 2

Hi, Queenie.  People are going to tell you these things because they either don't understand, or understand more than you give them credit for.  The person who suffers most from your disability is you.  A perfect example of this is a young girl that is repeatedly sexually molested as a child.  She may have a lot of things to work through as an adult, but somehow she must still function in society while she gets help to deal with her problems.  I suggest you seek medical treatment for your depression and anxiety (as they are medical problems) but also that you do what you can control to function in society.  The girl I mentioned above has many things to work through, but in the end, she is going to have to seek and respond to a solution herself.  No one ever said life would be fair.  On the day you look in the mirror and say "I am taking control of my journey through life" you are half way there.

Answer 3

It sounds like the person wants to help you but does it so intellectual that it is cold and narrow minded way, if you just can't do it.

Answer 4

The person who says that probably isn't very educated about mental illnesses and doesn't have much interests in understanding the nuances of your life.